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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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TwilightDwells Offline
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Name: Katie
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Unhappy Why Can't it Just Fix Itself? - November 8th 2010, 07:56 PM

Hey,
This thing is just mostly questions and concerns (not to mention ranting on and on) about things that are wrong with me. If you read to the end of it, thank you, if you don't, thanks for trying.

To start off I'm going to mention my problems:
I can't do anything, well...I CAN my body just doesn't like it. For some reason I say I'm going to do something but I don't. I try though. Okay, my idea of "trying" is getting up, walking over to it, look at it, think for a moment, and then walk away.
Last year I had an emotional breakdown, (or maybe I had the nervous breakdown last year and the emotional one this year...either way I've had mental breakdowns) and I haven't been the exact same ever since. I started off with not doing as much with friends and family, now I barely do ANYTHING and I don't know why. I spend almost 80% of my time on a normal day in my room. That's why my family doesn't bother with me and I'm suddenly the "freaky weird girl who everyone wishes they weren't around" and it bothers me. I distance myself and I can't seem to stop. I want to stop.
I've have other [mental] problems as well. But, on my counselor's advice, I shouldn't tell many people about it. But sometimes it leads onto me wishing that I was 18 so I can out of this damn town. But I went on vacation and my problems didn't stay with the town, they followed me like a shadow. So how did LEAVING town end up being good for me like everyone said it was? It didn't help ANYTHING.
People hate me, animals hate me, I want to pull my own hair out, and everything keeps on going wrong.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? (Sorry for the caps and how strongly that sounded. I'm just confused.)
I don't have an appointment with my counselor for a while so I had to let this all out. I want everything to work itself out. BUT IT DOESN'T!!! People always tell me that if I leave it alone, it'll work itself out. When will that happen? When I have another breakdown? When I cry for 3 hours straight again? When I just give up? Whats going on?
I don't know what to do. My friend(s) say that I should get as much help as I can. I try. But it doesn't seem to work.
Thank you if you've read this far. I really appreciate it.


I will forgive, but I'll never forget.
Love is something earned, not gifted.
The Fallen Angel's cry for their beloved.
~ Katie

Last edited by TwilightDwells; November 8th 2010 at 09:44 PM. Reason: I edited because I spotted a spelling mistake and it was othering me.
   
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Re: Why Can't it Just Fix Itself? - November 9th 2010, 07:29 AM

I'm unsure on how to begin because you said you do have other mental disorders but without you mentioning or even describing them, it's hard to know if they account for what you're experiencing. If you're comfortable answering, I have several questions to ask, otherwise you don't have to answer (in which case I can only respond with the useless answer of "get help" or "see a doctor"). If not, are there parts of the day or week where you don't feel like this? Have these feelings persisted since you had the nervous breakdown last year or was there some time before they happened? For your other mental disorders, are any of them mood disorders (i.e. depression, bipolar), borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia-spectrum disorders (including schizoid and schizotypal personality disorders) or anything else relating to dysfunction of regulating mood or emotions?

Lastly, remember that you're 14 and hormones at this time exaggerate your behaviour so although it's distressing, it may not be a mental disorder per se as it's due to hormones.


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
   
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