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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
tamz Offline
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feel like a lost cause tbh :( - February 21st 2011, 01:11 AM

So yeah, as the title says, I feel like a lost cause. I've been on anti - depressants for the past 6months or so. I feel so lost at the moment. I don't even know how to explain how I feel. Whenever I was down, I used to talk to my best friend, he completely understood where I was coming from and was so *sooo supportive, he was like my rock. But then all that changed one night. I'd had an argument with my parents and went to his and well he sexually assaulted me.

My life spiralled out of control after that. Self harmed pretty badly in the months after that and eventually saw my doctor who gave me the ad's. But now I just feel hopelessly alone again I have a counsellor but talking to her never seems to help at all. I don't know what to say when I'm there and it's really hard for me to trust people after this "friend" incident.

I'm not with the most amazing guy ever who's so supportive but he's moving away soon, he's got a job down south so will be going for 6months and I'll barely see him.

I'm in uni but just going through the motions. Yeah, I go to lectures, but things seems to go in one ear, out the other. I have maybe 1/2 close friends and that's it.

Nothing seems to help anymore, I just feel like such a lost cause
sorry for the rant, I just feel so lost atm
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
AmazonQueen Offline
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Re: feel like a lost cause tbh :( - February 21st 2011, 05:35 AM

really REALLY wish i knew what to tell you right now, but i don't but at the same time i can't just leave this thread without letting you know someone DOES care, pm me if you need anyone to talk to i will help you best i can

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.
How much you can take, and keep moving forward.
PM me if you need to talk about ANYTHING.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Irinya Offline
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Re: feel like a lost cause tbh :( - February 21st 2011, 11:12 PM

Hey there,

You are totally NOT a lost cause!

I'm so sorry that you got sexually assaulted! Nobody deserves that, and it's truly awful. Have you told anybody about it? I know you mentioned having problems with your counselor, and if she knows about this it might make her understand you better and improve your relationship. Also, it's such a release to just let it out instead of bottling it up inside you. Talking does wonders, really.

You don't have to go through the motions if you don't want to. Of course, I'm absolutely not advocating cutting every class and failing out of university -- that wouldn't improve your situation in the slightest. But don't be afraid to take a few personal days off, to scream, to cry, to journal about how you feel, just in general to try and deal with yourself and your feelings. You will be better off for it, better off than if you went to class instead. Right now you're in university -- you have no obligations except to yourself and to learn; take full advantage of that, because it may very well be the only time of your life that you can afford to be so selfish.

Take care of yourself before anything else, and by yourself I am of course including your mind.

I know your life might seem really, really bad right now. You might even feel like you've hit the bottom, the lowest you can go. But hey. Please, always have faith that things will change. It gets better. Who knows how many times that thought's gotten me through my darkest nights. If you've really hit the bottom, there's only one way you can go -- up.

You are NOT a lost cause. I absolutely believe in you, and I know that it will get better. Please, PM me if you ever need anything or want to talk. I'm here for you.

"Want to know a secret?

You are beautiful.

Black, white, gay, straight, bisexual. Whether you are smart or quiet or impossibly in love with your best friend, someone out there cherishes your smile and gets butterflies when you walk into a room.

Someone out there can't stop thinking about you. You Are Beautiful. Don't ever believe differently."

If you ever want someone to talk to, about absolutely anything, feel free to inbox me!
  Send a message via Skype™ to Irinya 
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
tamz Offline
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Re: feel like a lost cause tbh :( - February 24th 2011, 11:58 AM

epic typo there! I said I'm not with the most amazing guy, I meant now*!!
Yeah I've told a few people about the sexual assault, it was pretty much the reason I went to see the counsellor first off.

Things are so bad at the moment. I took so much time off last semester that I very nearly failed. I literally Just passed my exams this january. I missed lots of practical sessions last semester which are a compulsory part of the course. I have a prac this afternoon but I'm just feeling so anxious, I really don't think I can face it. I feel like I'm failing the course but I can't drop out as it's all I've ever wanted to do. I just don't know what to do anymore.
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Re: feel like a lost cause tbh :( - February 25th 2011, 01:46 AM

Dont give up now! If its something you want to do, put all your focus and effort into it, no matter what. <3 You can get through this, its hard i know, but you will somehow get through this and achieve the most glorious things in life <3

Some things are beautiful because they are un-obtainable <3

'A dream is what you desire if anything and everything is possible.'
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feel, lost, tbh

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