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Higgins Offline
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Posts: 1
Join Date: April 7th 2011

need help improving my life - April 7th 2011, 03:53 AM

so im not sure where to post this because i have problems that span many sections. im going to have to tell a fairly long story so bear with me.

so when i was in elementary school i was bullied. nothing bad that hurt me too much. but while in elementary school i also got insulted. again nothing bad but my belief is it added up over time.

later in high school the physical bullying stopped but the verbal kept up.

it is in high school that i believe it affected my confidence and made me a little depressed. this led to a decreased sex drive and a lack a motivation to flirt with girls.

after high school it kept up. i can talk to female no problem but even ones that i know like me i just cant find motivation to flirt with and date. i am now in the military and if you have ever been in everyone knows everything about everyone else. i dont hide that fact that im a virgin while the rest of them aren't but what i dont tell them is all this. i cant explain it very well but i have absolutely no drive for sex. i had a chick come up to me in the bar and say lets go have sex. i went and i could not get an erection. i know its not the first time thing that some people have because i was actually quite relaxed. i just wasn't feeling anything.

on that same note i don't seem to feel much of any emotion anymore. ill feel sad sometimes but i often wont feel anything. i dont ever feel happy anymore; the closest i think i get is neutral. i find i just want to be alone and not around happy people because that makes me see how sad i actually am. i just put on a show so people dont think i am actually as upset as i actually am.

this might fit better in a different section but im new here so... yeah.

what do people think? what can i do to improve my life? feel free to ask any more question if that will help you understand better what i am going through
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