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Orion Offline
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Holding back in Counseling - May 13th 2011, 11:47 PM

I went to my first counseling appointment a few days ago.
It already feels like im not going to be able to talk about a lot of the things that my parents believe i should be talking about.
Truth is I don't think there is anything wrong with me and the things they want me to talk about are things that make me who i am. The things i think and the things i do are who i am and i know they are not things im going to be able to change. they arnt great but whos another to judge?
I know that it may seem strange to them but its not strange to me and its not affecting how i live. So is it actually necessary that i talk to anyone about these things?

Sure there are a few i have no issues talking about but im really not comfortable disclosing some of the others. I can see myself making bad choices when concerning this issue but i dont know what to do.
Should i just try it out and see what happens? take the risk?
or keep doing what im doing. I am who i am and i dont understand why they want me to be diffrent.
Its been difficult feeling as if i have no one to speak to, no one to trust with some of these things. I dont trust that if i tell the counselor that his course of action will be desirable. I dont want to disclose something that will just make matters worse. So do i really have to self edit as i go?
   
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Re: Holding back in Counseling - May 14th 2011, 08:10 AM

I think you should try it for a while. You are in charge of what you choose to talk about. Nobody can make you talk about something you don't want to.
Start off talking about the things you're comfortable with, then maybe after a while bring up the things you're not so comfortable talking about and see how it goes.
   
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Re: Holding back in Counseling - May 15th 2011, 12:52 AM

I remember my first councelling appointment, I was terrified. I held back so much from him, i was scared and nervous. As time went on I managed to open up more and more. My advice is to stick with it, it gets easier to talk, and if it helps it's worth a try right?
   
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Re: Holding back in Counseling - May 15th 2011, 04:07 AM

I don't feel afraid of him as a person, he seems actually like a nice person. However its his career that makes me Leary. there are some subjects i dont feel comfortable talking with anyone about due to their nature. because i dont have a reference of reaction to them i am unsure about what to disclose.
I dont want to cause an issue out of something i see as normal for myself but perhaps others such as he might not. Complicated but hey might as well ask the question.
im not doubting continuing going, like i said there are some things i am willing to talk about. its more the issue of what things i should avoid speaking about to avoid adverse reactions
   
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Re: Holding back in Counseling - May 15th 2011, 03:04 PM

If there's anyone you should be able to talk to, it's your counselor. If you don't feel comfortable, move to a different one. You should always be able to say what's on your mind - it's key to recovery and happiness. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right therapist for you, but I don't think you should stick with this one if you don't feel comfortable saying everything that's on your mind.


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happy or introspectively passive and sad.
Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.
-Sylvia Plath
   
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Re: Holding back in Counseling - May 17th 2011, 05:29 AM

I have considered changing before my next visit simply based off the feeling that he might be a touch too "Soft" I'm not sure if that makes entire sense.
Overall i understand that of all people a counselor should be someone you feel safe talking about all subjects with but no matter the person its the profession i am again Leary of. No matter who it is there are still legal obligations that they are held to, and of course "prejudices" that are standard.
I am more concerned about topics such as suicide that would lead down a road i am not comfortable going.
It would be nice if there was nothing being held over my head saying that i should be careful about what i say. But i am very aware that there are things that perhaps should not be addressed with anyone. Not if i dont want certain repercussions.
   
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Re: Holding back in Counseling - May 29th 2011, 09:19 PM

I definitely believe that if you don't feel that you can open up to your counselor about anything, that you might want to consider trying out a different one. Every counselor isn't going to be a perfect match for everyone. You don't want to be stuck with one that you can't open up to. My counselor actually discussed that at our first meeting. She didn't want me to stay with her if I didn't feel we would match up.
As for opening up about everything, I don't think that's entirely necessay. I know at my first meeting with my counselor, I went over the basics of what I did want to talk about throughout my time with her. And she's pretty good about checking in to make sure that I'm okay talking about one thing or the other, and if I don't, we move on to a different topic. Your counselor shouldn't try to make you talk about certain things you aren't comfortable with. And if you don't feel comfortable talking about certain topics, be sure to discuss that with them.
I hope everything goes okay with it and hopefully you'll have a good experience with the counselor.
   
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Re: Holding back in Counseling - June 1st 2011, 02:12 PM

I understand that it is difficult in your position. I think that if you are over 16 counsellors aren't legally obliged to report certain things, abuse etc (at least that's what my counsellor says). On the topic of suicide, from personal experience, they don't necessarily freak out if you say that you're suicidal, rather he may try to understand why, and how close you are to actually trying (or succeeding). If you don't feel comfortable telling him whats on your mind and you don't think that will improve once you get to know each other a little better, then you should perhaps find someone else that you can trust.
   
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Re: Holding back in Counseling - June 1st 2011, 08:29 PM

I definitely think you should just keep trying...the same thing happened to me and I dropped out because of it, but I see now that my life would have been a whole lot less stressful had I stayed with the counseling.
   
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Re: Holding back in Counseling - June 1st 2011, 10:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Orion View Post
]Overall i understand that of all people a counselor should be someone you feel safe talking about all subjects with but no matter the person its the profession i am again Leary of. No matter who it is there are still legal obligations that they are held to, and of course "prejudices" that are standard.
I am more concerned about topics such as suicide that would lead down a road i am not comfortable going. It would be nice if there was nothing being held over my head saying that i should be careful about what i say. But i am very aware that there are things that perhaps should not be addressed with anyone. Not if i dont want certain repercussions.
As someone going into this profession I have to ask where you're getting your perceptions from. There are legal obligations for your safety only, and that doesn't mean that they are all bad things. There are "predjudices" with any person you speak to regardless of profession because they are human beings, but we are taught how to deal with our predjudices and judgements to that they are reduced as much as possible if not eliminated. What you decide to tell him or not tell him is up to you, but it could hurt you in the long run to withold too much information. And if he's a professional I can virtually guarantee that he's heard it and dealt with it before.


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