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-   -   What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness? (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f14-mental-health/t82261-whats-worst-advice-youve-ever-been-given-about-your-mental-illness/)

vrgtfvgt4vg August 20th 2011 06:58 PM

What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
I don't have a mental illness but I'm just wondering.

Some people can be so insensitive or ignorant.

Batman. August 20th 2011 08:34 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
I think the most common one people hear is "Get over it". It's not as easy as "getting over it" for a mental illness.

Personally, the worst thing I ever heard was a therapist, who implied I was lying about everything I had said, and claimed that I WANTED to have a mental illness because it's "trendy". Those words were pretty bad, and definitely not helpful.

Many people can be quite ignorant. I've heard rude comments about other people with mental illnesses (I don't tell many people about my issues), and it makes me cringe, thinking what if these people knew about ME?

But, there are also some people who are quite nice. My boyfriend is really supportive of me, and I also have a couple of friends who are quite nice, despite my mental health issues.

alibear101 August 20th 2011 10:55 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
hmm the worst words i was ever told was that i was just acting depressed because i always have to have something wrong with me or i feel left out and not in the centre of attention. oh, or when my parents always tell me that i should just suck it up bc I'm over-reacting

Daivia August 20th 2011 11:45 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
"Fake it till you make it", about my depression. Yes, pretend to be happy so other people won't be uncomfortable.

Music August 21st 2011 12:18 AM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
The first time I attempted suicide my psychiatrist at the time said to me it was because I wanted attention and went on to tell everyone I had contact with in the hospital and my parents it wasn't serious it was for attention. Trust me, it wasn't.

The other thing would be my mom either telling me to gt over it or stop being so selfish or that mental illness doesn't exist and I shouldn't be taking all my pills.

Luckily I've gotten a new psychiatrist and don't live with my mom anymore.

Kate* August 21st 2011 01:06 AM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
My mom told me to "get over it" because she handled everything that I was suicidal over when she was my age and all of my peers could do the same so I just needed to suck it up and get over it. Just because other people who don't battle depression could do it doesn't mean that I could. She knows mental illness runs rampant on my dad's side of the family too and yet it never occured to her as a possibility!

I've never been told directly, but yeah anyone who says mental illnesses don't exist needs to live with one for awhile until they understand. I'm also insulted by anyone who says anything bad about people who have contemplated, attempted, or died by suicide such as that they are weak or going to Hell, attention seeking etc. It is disrespectful to the nth degree. Do not judge that which you do not understand

Okay, rant over :)

chook14 August 21st 2011 02:00 AM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
When I told my parents (who are pretty unstable themselves I should add) that I thought I was depressed and would like to talk to someone about it they tried to blame it on a 'substance abuse problem' that didn't exist :P So I was subsequently told by them, and the doctor they made me see who they filled in about this 'problem' that all I needed to do was stop drinking alcohol and then everything would be fine. I've never had a substance abuse problem in my life. Like not even a minor one. The whole thing was completley ridiculous. My parents have to this day never even seen me drunk. My dad admitted the whole thing more or less about a year later when I confronted him and he said he went along with it because he had to 'choose between his wife and his daughter'...thanks for putting your depressed 15 year old daughter first dad jeez :/
(sorry about the rant :P) ...also just wanna say that I totally sympathise with everyone who's posted on here. It's really the worst thing being let down in such a way by the people who you were counting on to help and support you.
So much love for you all <3

Stargazed. August 21st 2011 02:25 AM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
What's the worst advice I've ever been given about my mental illnesses... Hmm...

1) "Get over it"
2) You chose your own happiness. If you chose to be happy, you will be.
3) There's nothing wrong with you. It's all in your head. If you chose that you're ill, you will be. If you decide you're healthy, the voices will like you. They won't control you.

I feel like ranting... IF I could control my thoughts, don't you think I would do it? Do you think I'd want this for myself if I was, per say, normal? NO. I definitely wouldn't! I do want to be happy. I don't want to be controlled by ocd, ptsd, nightmares and flashbacks are deff not what I want in my life. But they're there! And I have to make the BEST out of it! I can't just wake up and say oh hey, my life is going to change right this second. It takes time and effort.

K, I'm done. :nosweat:

Marguerite August 21st 2011 09:44 AM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
I think the worst two were

1) "I remember what I was like at 16. Everyone feels this way when they're young".

Actually, they dont'.

2) Just think more positively.

Obliviate August 21st 2011 03:21 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
When my Mum told me to start acting like a normal teenager because she was walking on egg shells around me.
That hurt bad.

And a female police officer told my parents I was 'over reacting' when a friend tipped them off about my suicide plans.

'Just be happy' ... I was told that a lot.

Kate* August 21st 2011 04:26 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
For the record, there's nothing wrong with thinking positively, or trying to, it's the idea that just thinking positively will "fix" you that bothers me. Telling me that proves to me that you really just don't get it.

daisyduck August 21st 2011 04:53 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
either "fake it till you make it, and convince yourself your happy" which really bugs me because people don't understand it's not that easy or my personal favorite "you're just and angsty person. you probably always be an angsty person. it's they way you are"

very reassuring :P
my psych said she was going to beat up the guidance counselor that said that.

Tara. August 21st 2011 05:29 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
This had nothing to do with my anxiety, but when I was 15 some dumb bitch therapist said that I was destined to be an alcholalic and to just accept it.

Batman. August 21st 2011 09:05 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
Tara, some therapists can be jerks. Honestly, I think some of them are just mad because they weren't smart enough to become psychiatrists. XD

dancinfool August 21st 2011 09:27 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
I don't know if I would classify myself as having a mental illness but when I saw a counsellor at college she gave me horrendous advice. I was having to quit college due to injury and was trying to decide whether I should go home to my family (and miss my boyfriend/friends) or try to get a job in order to stay in London. Her advice was 'start over and move to a new city and get a job there'. Yeah cos if I'm feeling really homesick and lonely, moving away from friends AND family is definitely going to help >.> Also when I was talking to her, I was explaining the problem and she had a go at me because I said 'but' a lot.. 'You're so negative'.. No I'm just explaining pros and cons of both sides.. grrr. That lady made me angry!

BlueWolf August 21st 2011 09:45 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
Oh I got quite a list, but I'll keep it short. :bleh:

I've gotten, "Oh you're just being a drama queen." "It's just hormones," (When I'm 18? Really? I overcame that in middle school. :glare: ). "Just think positive," "Why would you go see a counselor when you can just talk to me?" (This was from my dad who just ended up getting mad at me and putting me down for being 'stupid' whenever I tried to), "I don't know what to tell you or what you can do," (This was from a therapist. I mean really? Not even some motivation? Aren't you a professional? I have heard this from more than one therapist. *) ).

That's a just to name a few I've had directly.

FairyPoppins August 22nd 2011 10:04 AM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
"It's all in your head."

Well DUH!!!

>.<

crazychick10793 August 22nd 2011 01:36 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
1. Bullshit! Bipolar doesn't exist in children under 18! (a teacher told them that)
2.Don't be dramatic, you don't cut yourself! (my arm was covered in cuts)
3.You just want people to feel bad for you. No, I want help
4. Who cares if I made a million comments about how fat you were? If you became anorexic that is your own damn fault!

ugh

Magical Forest. August 22nd 2011 04:55 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
Oh, i've had "you're not depressed, you're just a 13 year old girl"
"just get over it"
"that's not that bad, think of the people who are in africa. you have nothing to be upset about"
Grr annoying nurses.

Ella.x August 23rd 2011 11:51 AM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
"It seems to me that your almost fatal overdose was a good way of getting attention" - yes, because I just love lying in intensive care, having seizures and being to scared to tell anyone that I know for 4 days. (including my family).

"Oh, it's alright, those are just scratches" - a doctor who had been asked to come and see me in A&E after an overdose whilst looking at the cuts on my arms.

"I don't know how to help you, so I'm signing you off to your GP" - well what the bloody hell is she going to do, when you have got specific training in mental illness?!?!

"Just pretend until you become happy" - nice one, thanks for that!

escape_thereal_world August 23rd 2011 02:29 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
Along with a few others, "Just...be happy. Quit being depressed and thinking of only the bad."
...No sh**? Who would have thought! :P

NevermindMe August 23rd 2011 05:26 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
Well I don't know if depression/being suicidal counts, but I'll post.

"Get over yourself"

It's not that easy. It really isn't. It's not some "I'm better than you" thing, it isn't "My life is harder than yours" it truly is a mental problem that the individual needs to be ready to work through.

- Justin

ertyuio August 24th 2011 04:20 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
A three-way tie between

"Get over it,"

"Start looking at the bright side of things,"

and

"Whenever a negative thought comes to you, ignore it and eliminate it."

They act as though we choose to let negativity cloud our thoughts...irritates me to no end.

Evanescent August 24th 2011 08:17 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
"Don't listen to the voices, if you just tell them to go away they will." No, it doesn't work like that.

"If you work out more and lose weight your mental health problems will go away. You won't need medication if you just work out more and lose more weight." Thanks for the support! NOT!

"You need to woman up! Get over it and stop being so selfish!" That one really hurt.

"Your life is what you make it." Not true, I didn't want this.

"Of course you're goig to have flashbacks, it's called memories!" Not the same thing dad!

"I don't know how to help you so I am switching you over to so and so." I have been told this by many therapists and case managers. It really hurts when people just give up on you and just pass you off to someone else.

"You're only doing this for attention." No, I'm not!

Strife August 26th 2011 06:24 AM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
"Think positive."
"Stop talking to [so and so] about your issues. You'll just mess them up too."
"Just stop cutting. Don't do it anymore."
"Ignore it."
"You're just attention seeking. Everyone, ignore her."
"I wish you would just kill yourself."

Ghost On The Highway August 28th 2011 01:25 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
Haha Julz, took the words right out of my mouth! Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, tough it out, get a damn job, don't drop out and the like. And, damn Strife, you need new friends and fewer enemies. I do hits for $20000 a pop lol...jk...errr...well...

I'm_Here August 28th 2011 01:30 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
I was actually told just to "Get over it" which just made problems much harder for me to deal with, due to the fact I kept everything to myself and turned quiet.

Anatidaephobia August 28th 2011 01:49 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
"get over it"
"Stop lying to people when its obviously not true"
"If you feel like that then why do you smile"
"You're not depressed, you're just lazy"
"Ignore her she's just been a teenager"

Jenna Peterson August 31st 2011 08:53 AM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
"Get over it" - Yeah, okay, I'll work on that...

"If you keep on crying in front of X, he/she is going to stop hanging out with you." - true in some cases, but hey, you find out who your friends are, right?

"Do you even know how lucky you are? [insert story about how great my life must be and how bad some people have it]" - This is usually where I'd like to explain exactly what my life has been like and see how they feel then, but this usually comes from know-it-all class mates and co-workers, which usually puts us in a public place, which would make announcing such things embarrassing and possibly inappropriate.

Ella.x September 1st 2011 07:13 AM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
I got a great one from a doctor yesterday - "just keep going, other people have it worse than you, you know". Fantastic! why didn't I think of that before? Just keep going! I'll do that then doctor and everything will magically be better, right? Thankyou so much for your wonderful advice.

WhisperingSilence September 1st 2011 12:36 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
The common one I get told is ' Toughen up' That hurts a lot. As sometimes at work I struggle loads and stuff and ended breaking down at work and my boss will tell me to 'Toughen up'. I have not exactly told work about everything, like no one at work knows that my Dr has pretty much said to me that I have depression, though its not diagnosed as such more suspected as I scored high on the depression test I took last time I saw my Dr two and a-bit years ago on this sort of issue. So at the moment my boss thinks it just me being silly and having confidence trouble. When its not.

And my friend has refused to go clubbing with me because I have panic attack when we go, she had said 'I wont go clubbing with you till you get the panic attacks sorted, it just ruins my night '

Ashleylovesyou September 1st 2011 03:07 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
For my depression it was get over it, no one cares, and don't think about it.
For my OCD, I need to clean my hands and I need to feel and be clean, I was told by my doctor that OCD is something people can control, if I can't control it then its not OCD, so I need to be dirty and suck up the needing to be clean feeling. And I was told to get the fuck over it, no one cares if I'm clean, they don't even care if I'm alive.
For flashbacks/paranoia I was told to stop thinking about him.
I have a lot wrong with me, haha.

Verità September 1st 2011 05:31 PM

Re: What's the worst advice you've ever been given about your mental illness?
 
I think the worst thing anyone has ever said to me about any of my problems is: "That's not bad. My problems are way worse." That was painful to hear.


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