I always think they are laughing at me

[Haunted]

(I don't know where to put this post so just tell me if I have to move it.)
I noticed that I tend to think that people, like my classmates, are always saying bad things about me and making fun of me.
I feel like they don't know I can hear them and so they talk about me and how stupid, ugly, boring I am.
For example, sometimes when I'm on my way back home after school on the bus I listen to my iPod and I sit next to my friends A. and M.. Since I can't hear them talking or at least I don't know what they are saying, when they laugh I feel like they're making fun of me, so I look at them and they stop. Today it happened again. I was in my classroom with a few of my mates and while I was going out to look for another one of my friends, they started laughing and when I came back they stopped.
Sometimes I am even afraid that people think I'm boring and they bear me just because they have to, but when they have a chance to talk about how boring I am with another person they do that.
I don't really remember when this started but I hate it and I don't know what it could be. Not that I'm worried, I'm just wondering why I think people "hate" me.
Does anyone have an idea?

[JustDanielle]

I'm like this too. Especially the music if im listening to my music and i think my freinds are talking about me i stop it but keep my headphones in so they think i wont here them and see if they're talking about me but they never are. When people are laughing i think they're also laughing at me. Sorry i couldn't help, i hope you find some answers about this problem.

[PSY]

Hey there! I can relate to what you're going through. When I was in middle school, I dealt with severe social anxiety. I became slightly paranoid as a result, imagining that everyone was looking at me during class, thinking about what a loser I was, talking behind my back, etc. Years later, I can look back and recognize how paranoid I was being... but at the time, it all seemed very real, and it was hard to change the way I thought about social situations.

The problem is that if you believe everyone is talking about you or thinking about you, you'll start to behave differently, ex. making eye contact with your friends while listening to your iPod. Imagine if you were one of your friends, and you noticed another friend staring at you. What would you think? Maybe something along the lines of, "Why is Serena staring at me? Wasn't she listening to her iPod? Does she want to say something? She's not... weird..." After a while, you're looking at what I call a "self-fulfilling prophecy":

You suspect people don't like you.
You start to act differently.
People notice you're acting differently.
People start treating you differently.
You confirm your own suspicions.
The paranoia is no longer paranoid.

So what can you do? First, recognize that your friends ARE your friends. People CAN be two-faced (ex. nice to you in person, then talk about you behind your back), but it takes a LOT of effort to "act nice" day after day. Soon enough, a person's true feelings become evident, and you'll notice that person beginning to avoid you. It doesn't sound like your friends have been doing that at all. If you continue to let the paranoid thoughts influence your actions, though, they may begin to treat you differently. Let your friends' actions speak for themselves. If they are being nice to you, then assume it's because they truly do like you!

Secondly, start to dismiss the paranoid thoughts. Don't automatically assume the people around you are acting a certain way because you're present, and don't automatically assume people are talking/laughing about you. Come up with alternate theories in your head. For example, if you notice two people are laughing as you approach them, you can think, "Oh, So-and-So must have just said something funny." There is no reason to conclude it was about you. A harder situation to tackle is when two people stop talking when you approach. That CAN be quite disconcerting, and I can see why you might conclude they were talking about you. I used to make the same conclusion when I was dealing with social anxiety. Again, you need to think about the situation differently. You can think, "They've stopped talking because it was a private conversation they don't want anyone else to overhear," or, "They've stopped talking because they think I might want to greet them."

Lastly, BE YOURSELF. It was really hard for me to "act normal" around my friends and classmates when I suspected they were talking about and thinking about me. As I stated above, this can lead to a vicious cycle, a "self-fulfilling prophecy". Convincing yourself that your friends are really your friends, and trying to think about situations differently, is a good start. The next step is to truly focus on doing what makes you happy, and that is to be yourself. There will ALWAYS be people who don't like you, for rational and irrational reasons. That's not paranoia - that's just reality. If we are secure in our identities, though, the occasional nay-sayer won't matter at all. We'll know who we are, we'll like who we are, and we'll know that other people like who we are as well!

I wish you all the best. =) Feel free to PM me any time if you'd like to keep talking about this or any other problem you're facing!