Triggering (Suicide): Why?

[Hallelujah]

I'm in need of something. Anything, guys. I need something to live for. I've completely lost my reason, I don't remember why I'm fighting this. I need reminding of what this is all for. Why? What am I working towards? Going back to full time work? Moving out? Marrying him and having kids? Why is it so important? Why, why why?
Mortgages and debt and changing jobs and everything. I can't do it. I can't see a point.

What makes it worth all th effort? What makes it worth hanging on and not jumping? What is meant to stop me from taking that final step [Edited]?


I'm so scared of the future. I'm so, so scared.

[Palmolive]

Hi dear.

Firstly, I can relate to be scared and afraid about the future. You're still young and a hell of a lot is still ahead of you. But remember, it won't just all happen. You won't work up in full time work, married, with your own house and several children! You'll gradually but towards the things you want over time. Its okay if you don't know what you want right now. You have a nice man I hear, so maybe for now just hold on because you want to be with him, that's a reason to live right?

Set yourself goals. If you don't feel ready to make big ones, don't. Start small, like planning to go shopping next with and for lunch with a friend. Set yourself a goal to read a book you've been wanting to read. Se yourself a goal to start running or going to the gym or something. Think of the little things. Perhaps get some volunteer work somewhere a few afternoons a week. Build it up. Then think about future career work, where you want to go. Consider University or think about raising money for charity by doing a sponsored swim. Maybe think about bungee jumping or even running the marathon or thinking about a holiday to go on. Set yourself goals and aim towards them.

And live for the small things too, they can often be the best. Like looking at the stars or watching the sun rise. Going for a midnight swim at the beach and going on a bike read or for a picnic. Having a proper warm, lush bubble bath with candles. Appreciate the small things to!

I'm here if you want to talk are anything. Just hang in there..

Jessie xo