Your Not Alone...

[BrItTaNyWaShErE]

Hi Everyone! I am new on here and I thought I would share my story just to help me relate to others, something I am still struggling with, and also to help anyone else similar to me because no one should ever have to deal with this alone.

"Any Mental Disorders"....this was a check box I had to check for the first time ever when filing out doctors office paperwork. To have to check that box scared me and made me feel well very different. A little over a year ago, I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist. It was the scariest experience I have taken part in during my short 17 years here. When I left there I was now labeled "Anxiety Disorder".

My anxiety disorder is somewhat different from what I've noticed in others. Mine began appearing around March 2010 and was finally diagnosed around December. Why this long of a gap? My mom believed it was hormonal and pushed it aside. I cannot stress enough that if you truly know something is just not right talk to someone who will listen!! This could be a relative, parent or even a school administrator who deals with these kinds of things. Do not let someone persuade you into what they believe! My symptoms started to interfere with my daily life. The main one is what we call either "panic attacks" or "episodes". During these, I feel detatched from reality almost like I am dreaming or just sitting like a fly on the wall. These were the worst experiences ever not only because I could never enjoy myself in social situations but also becuase they were happening sometimes 10+ times per day lasting from either 2-20 minutes each. This was also accompined by random bursts of nausea and extreme aggitation. We were unable to discover what was making this happen which made the process even more struggling.

Currently, I still continue therapy and I am on two meds, Zoloft and Xanax, which help to regulate my anxiety disorder. At this current time, I only have an occasional attack (last month I only had 3) which has defintely improved my social life.

I posted this just to let people know you are not alone! Please never feel like you are different or a freak because you have to check that box labeled mental disorder. It is something you cant always prevent and we must embrace our differences! If anyone has any questions about my disorder or just questions in general feel free to ask or pm!

Thanks for reading and please if you want help dont hesistate to ask!!

[Iris. ♥]

Thanks so much for posting this. It's so exciting to hear that you are getting the help that you need and that the amount of anxiety attacks you have is lessening. This was definitely reassuring for me. I went to my first counseling appointment on Wednesday and there was a huge checklist with different things I could be struggling. I had to mark all the ones that sounded like me. It definitely wasn't an easy thing to do and I felt like such a freak. Knowing that someone else had those same feelings when they checked the boxes helps me to relax a little bit.

[LeapOfFayth]

But having a mental illness does make you different, just thought I'd say. There's no denying it, having any illness physical or mental makes you different than the general populous, hence it being a disorder or illness.
However, it can never change who you are and it can never make any of your goals impossible. It can make them challenging and it can make them seem distant but that only makes it that much more thrilling and inspiring when you reach them.
My disorder makes it hard for me to keep a job or keep friends but you just gotta keep trying. I'm with you, I don't have an anxiety disorder but I have anxiety. I know what it's like to have panic attacks and to shut yourself in.

There are days where I feel like going outside and shouting,
I have a mental illness but that doesn't keep me from being a productive member of society.
I have a mood disorder but that doesn't mean I'm a danger to anybody.
I don't ask for acceptance, I demand acceptance.

So should you.

But if I actually yelled that outside I'm sure the peace officers would tackle me, one of the cons of living downtown I suppose.

[BrItTaNyWaShErE]

Lovesbrokendream - Im soo glad this helped you and good luck with your therapy, you will definetly feel better and see changes!

Fricky Ricky - I kinda have to disagree with you there you say that people need to demand acceptance, but your telling me I'm not normal? How can I accept myself if I feel like Im different? Maybe I am misreading this but I do accept my differences and I strive to have people see me and others with disorders as normal people just with a characteristic different from themselves.

[FillingWithHope]

Welcome To Teen Help! Thank you so much for sharing your story. On this site you will not be judged by anything you post. It is so good that you are getting help and that you are not afraid. You are going to be such a great role model on here, filling everybody with hope and reasurrance. Again, Welcome!

[LeapOfFayth]

Originally Posted by BrItTaNyWaShErE

Fricky Ricky - I kinda have to disagree with you there you say that people need to demand acceptance, but your telling me I'm not normal? How can I accept myself if I feel like Im different? Maybe I am misreading this but I do accept my differences and I strive to have people see me and others with disorders as normal people just with a characteristic different from themselves.

Who's normal? Nobody in the world is normal. Why can't you accept yourself if you're different? Since when did acceptance mean being the same as everyone else? You and I can live a normal life, as normal as the next person, but we are not normal people. We have to take medication, that's not normal. There are certain situations we have to avoid, certain things we shouldn't do. No matter how hard you try, you can't tell me I'm a normal person with a different characteristic.
A diabetic is different, a person with cancer is different, a person with bipolar or an anxiety disorder is different. We differ from the normal, therefore we're not normal.

But my issue is, why would you want to be normal? Wouldn't you rather be stronger because of your differences?