I hate myself.

Br0k3nSmil3s · **I hate myself. -** June 8th 2012, 05:23 AM

Is there a such thing as going on a healthy diet with an eating disorder? Because I am so fat and really need to go on one I hate myself so much. I am a restricter, binge eater and purge once in awhile. I haven't cut in a month but I want to cut so badly right now I am so fat or Binge/purge...........FUCK LIFE. SOMEONE PLEASE I JUST NEEDA TALK TO SOMEONE

Harlequin. · **Re: I hate myself. -** June 8th 2012, 10:42 AM

Hey,

Before I say anything, I want to say how proud I am that you've gone a month self harm free. That's a massive, massive achievement and you should be so proud of yourself. <3
I wouldn't advise a diet to anyone unless their doctor has told them it's a good idea. If you're genuinely worried that you're overweight, then by all means visit a doctor, but a diet isn't a great idea.

I know it's a very difficult thing to do, but have you ever sought help for your eating disorder/ self harm? You don't deserve to go through this, I promise you. The voices in your had speak crap. They want to destroy you. Don't let them- you're beautiful, don't let them tell you otherwise.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here okay? If you want to shout/rant/complain/anything at all. You aren't alone. Never.

Silvia · **Re: I hate myself. -** June 8th 2012, 11:01 AM

Hey Frankie,

I totally agree with Laura and I'd like to add, regarding the title of ur post, that as a general rule, when a person develops an eating disorder, you don't just hate ur body, but almost every face of yourself, and that's not a matter of being fat, skinny, average or whatever, that's a self-steem problem... And I can assure that if u don't accept urself just the way u are, you are not going to like urself either although u lose pounds and pounds of weight.

What I want to say is that u should first fix your mind, your way of facing ur life, ur bod, urself, and once you're fine, if a doctor tells u u need to lose weight, he'll help u to develop healthy eating and sport habits to do so. But don't base ur happiness or the fact of loving urself with ur physical appearence because IT'S A BIG MISTAKE!

And whatever u need here we are!

Br0k3nSmil3s · **Re: I hate myself. -** June 9th 2012, 04:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by endoftherainbow

Hey,

Before I say anything, I want to say how proud I am that you've gone a month self harm free. That's a massive, massive achievement and you should be so proud of yourself. <3
.

thank you so much I haven't been self-harm free though...I have scratched my skin till i bled but I haven't cut for a whole month and haven't purged in a while so that is something im proud of.

And I am overweight by the chart at the doctors not just over weight but obese but yet I have an eating disorder that invovles restricting although i haven't restricted in awhile right now it's pretty much just binging all day and by that i mean i usually eat all day long. i just don't know what to do anymore

Harlequin. · **Re: I hate myself. -** June 9th 2012, 09:09 AM

Not purging is a massive achievement, as is not cutting. I am honestly proud of you <3

Charts aren't accurate. Everyone is different, okay sweetheart? Ask your doctor for advice if you're really worried, but remember that beauty isn't measured on a scale. You're beautiful. Believe it.

When you restrict, your body panics, and actually uses less calories to survive (to keep your heart beating, ect). Coupled with bingeing, that can lead to weight gain.

Have you ever sought help for you eating disorder? <3

Coexist. · **Re: I hate myself. -** June 9th 2012, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DivingCheska

thank you so much I haven't been self-harm free though...I have scratched my skin till i bled but I haven't cut for a whole month and haven't purged in a while so that is something im proud of.

And I am overweight by the chart at the doctors not just over weight but obese but yet I have an eating disorder that invovles restricting although i haven't restricted in awhile right now it's pretty much just binging all day and by that i mean i usually eat all day long. i just don't know what to do anymore

Hey there,

I'm very glad you've reached out to us. Even with your relapse with self harm, going that long without purging is a HUGE accomplishment, and I just want to say, on behalf of TeenHelp, CONGRATS!

We're here with you for this recovery process, and recovery isn't something that's like a step and takes a week. It takes years to allow the disorder to make you sick, and it takes years to recover.

As Laura said, those charts are not always accurate. BMI in particular has been proven fairly wrong, so please, see a doctor, dietitian, or nutritionist about your eating disorder, and they will be able to give you a meal plan that help you stop restricting, stop binging, and ultimately actually lose weight! Getting help will help beyond your help, imagine not having these feelings anymore? It'd be wonderful. Are you currently seeing anybody about your depression/self harm/eating disorder?

We're here for you, good luck!

survivor16 · **Re: I hate myself. -** June 9th 2012, 06:18 PM

I love everything that Laura is saying, charts aren't always accurate and if you are seriously concerned, you can always talk to your doctor!

I know it's hard, and scary, but you DESERVE to get help.

You shouldn't have to deal with this. So I would suggest talking to someone.

We are here for you, you can do this.

Shelby

Br0k3nSmil3s · **Re: I hate myself. -** June 10th 2012, 05:36 AM

thank you everyone. I had an eating disorder specitilest therapist or what ever the hell she is called but I didn't like her so I got a different therapist that is a speciltist but she knows about the stuff and helps me. And is conserned. I am going to be going into a program called eating disorder DBT(dilectable behavior therapy) so we will see but i'm scared because i wanna loose weight before i get better,

Sorry for the really bad spelling

.:BreakingBeautifully:. · **Re: I hate myself. -** June 10th 2012, 09:28 AM

Hey there,

I did not read all the responses so if I repeat anything I am sorry; this is not a habit of mine (I only do it on occasion when I am tired or something but I wanted to respond to this thread for numerous reasons).

Okay, here is the thing, you do not need an eating disorder to get to a healthy weight. While recovery from this eating disorder, if you do need to lose weight it will happen the only thing is it will not happen on your term which is something you will struggle with. Eating disorders, despite what numerous people in the world believe, are not about food or about weight, really, they are about control. So when a person enters into recovery they are letting go of the control they have and handing it over to the doctors. This is a hard thing to do but it is important thing to do because eating disorders are so very deadly and while being thin might seem like the most important thing right now it isn't; living is. And, I hope that with recovery you will learn that.

Recovery is not easy but it is possible just lean on the people you have in your life for support and talk to your doctors about everything; be completely honest about everything that is going on. The more honest you are the better able able the doctors will be at helping you.

I really hope this helped in some way and if you ever want to chat please feel free to pm me.

Jenna