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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Honey Muffin Offline
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I'm falling apart right now - January 29th 2013, 02:34 AM

so earlier today I was feeling really good about myself. I was feeling pretty & confident. I don't know what happened. I've been eating regularly, but the thing is I've started running almost every day (at least a mile) so I've been a lot hungrier than I usually am. I ate tuna tonight & all I can think about is the 3 tablespoons of mayo I put in it. I've been running & crying. I don't understand why I feel this way. I was feeling fine today & all of a sudden I feel so guilty. This is so ridiculous. I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY. ughhh.


When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.


Last edited by SparklingWine; January 30th 2013 at 02:46 PM. Reason: Removing un-necessary prefix
   
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Re: I'm falling apart right now - January 29th 2013, 02:50 AM

First of all GOOD JOB! I know that it might not seem like you are doing great, but you really are. Eating normally is the hardest part with recovering. It's completely normal for you to be feeling like this and what I did was just force myself to do it. I ate in front of a really good friend and then they distracted for a long time so I couldn't purge. Something that i would warn about is over exercising, i would never go above 2 hours and so if you're doing more than that everyday slow it down. Just remember that you are awesome and beautiful, good luck and if you wanna talk ever message me
   
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Re: I'm falling apart right now - January 29th 2013, 12:08 PM

Awww.... Kamrin, I am so sorry you feel this way. :/ You are a really lovely person and it makes me sad to hear such a wonderful close friend of mine is struggling with this.. I don't really know much about ED's so I'm not sure what to say, I just wanted to let you know that I care a lot about you and I'm here if you wanna talk, only a PM/VM away. =]

Although I understand how hard it can be to eat regularly, so I'm really proud of you for doing that lately. Try not to feel guilty about it, I know that's hard but everytime you feel guilty, remind yourself that it's okay to eat, it's how we survive. It's important.

You are just amazingly beautiful, and a really sweet caring person and don't you ever forget that, darling. You deserve to be happy and I really believe you can get to that point, you're really incredibly strong and I just love you soooo much as a friend, nooo not in a creepy way. Love you girl, Stay Strong <3

~ Christabel
   
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Re: I'm falling apart right now - January 30th 2013, 03:22 AM

Thank you so much Christabel I"m so grateful to have you as a friend. There should be more people like you in this world..caring and compassionate. you always make me feel good with your advice & I love you too it's not creepy at all. friends are supposed to love each other


When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

   
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Re: I'm falling apart right now - January 30th 2013, 02:53 PM

Hey there, mayo is not going to hurt you. You've been exercising. You're allowed to treat yourself to good foods, especially when you're exercising. I can understand the feelings you're experiencing though. The thing is, we need to eat to live. Food is not the enemy here, your thoughts are. Challenge your thoughts. You can't let your ED make you feel bad. Take control. In the future, when you eat something- instead of feeling guilty and beating yourself up, tell yourself "It's okay! I'm okay". I know it's hard but, you can't keep living like this. You're miserable and it isn't going to get any better or easier until you take control of your life and get better. Make sure you're communicating these emotions with people. It helps to have people around. Stay strong <3


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Re: I'm falling apart right now - February 3rd 2013, 11:39 PM

Aww thanks so much, Kamrin. Ah, only speaking truth about how amazing you are! Although words aren't enough to express it. Oh and so true. I'm soooo happy I met you, so lucky for me. You're an amazing friend.

~ Christabel
   
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Re: I'm falling apart right now - February 4th 2013, 12:56 AM

I know how you feel. Good job for eating right and exercising, running will make you more hungry. It's important not to let these foods make us feel guilty, easier said than done I know. I'll be sharing soon in my own threads, but I relate to that helpless feeling of guilt over food, it really sucks. I'll be making my own food journal and recording what i eat and how it makes me feel. Stay strong!
   
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