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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Interview (Rob gave me permission) - April 25th 2015, 11:25 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm doing a senior paper and it's over eating disorders. I personally have struggled from one sense I was 12 years old so I understand how difficult it can be being honest about this stuff. But if you are open, can you answer some questions? Your names will not be reveled!

What eating disorder do you face?

How long have you fought with an eating disorder?

Do you know what triggered these negative behaviors?

How has it impacted your life?

Did any of your friends and family know about your eating disorder?

How did people react when they found out?

When did you realize you needed help?

What was apart of your treatment?

How is recovery going?

What advise do you give to ones who struggle with eating disorders?

Anything else you want to add?

Thank you so much!!!
   
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Re: Interview (Rob gave me permission) - April 26th 2015, 03:37 PM

Hey,

I faced either anorexia or sub threshold anorexia, purging sub type depending on which doctor you spoke to

I would say I developed eating disorder tendencies at around 13, maybe earlier maybe later. I developed a full blown eating disorder when I was 15 and I would say I was fully recovered by 18.

A combination of an interest in health, calorie counting, the extremely negative portrayal of overweight individuals and a desire to be taken care of. A main one was that I wanted people to lower their expectations of me, and also so I had an "excuse" if I failed at something.

It completely changed my relationship with my parents. Around 4 years later I'd say our relationship has definitely improved, but for over 3 years it was terrible. I couldn't speak to them, every day was an argument, my father clung to the belief I was still eating disordered despite the fact I was recovered. It completely changed the dynamics of our relationship and although that is recovering now, it still feels like walking on egg shells. I don't think our relationship would have improved if I had continued living in the house and not moved out.

Pretty much all of the friends I had back then. My newer friends don't all necessarily know because it's not relevant. But when I first developed my ED, I was taken out of school for quite a while. I felt my friends deserved to know a version of what was going on. My family seemed to panic and told everyone in the family. I think they were looking for support.

Generally sympathy and well wishing.

When I was purging everyday. I was scared.

Part of my treatment was accepting that not eating was not a way to make life more like it was when I was younger. Not eating would not automatically make everyone want to take care of me, lower their expectations or make me feel more secure. In some cases it did the opposite. I also had to learn a lot about how I had to play a part in my own recovery and compromise. I had to accept sometimes I was wrong, and that was okay.

I'm completely recovered. I experience no kind of eating disordered thoughts, obsessions or urges. I can safely say this is entirely in the past, but I'm aware I'm of the minority who can say this.

Honestly? That it might help you if someone else takes over your life for a bit. If you're forced to recover you'll hate it, you really will. But it's a good way to make sure you actually do recover, so find therapists and supporters who will really push you and won't take your bullshit. That and that eating is not a choice. You eat by free will, you eat in a hospital or you die. Take responsibility, seek help, and fight for your own life.

That despite my no nonsense approach to recovery and those currently in the trenches, I know the hell of fighting against your own mind and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Those still fighting: you are brave, you are strong and you can get through this.



Take as long as you need.
   
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Re: Interview (Rob gave me permission) - April 26th 2015, 06:54 PM

What eating disorder do you face? I suffer from Binge eating disorder (Bed) and usually backfires with anorexia

How long have you fought with an eating disorder? Probably 14/15

Do you know what triggered these negative behaviors? My step mom she Always commented how I ate and how much

How has it impacted your life? I lost friends and stopped being around others so they wouldn't notice I would come home late and claim I already ate. I would wake up earlier so I can say I already ate. So I slept less and grew irritated. This was on top of depression.

Did any of your friends and family know about your eating disorder? No one knew my parents suspected after high school when they realized my weight would fluctuat offer due to binge eating than to eating not at all.

How did people react when they found out? My parents were upset and made me sit and eat with them. Even today I have a hard time eating in front of anyone.

When did you realize you needed help? Well technically even when I was diagnosed I never got help

What was apart of your treatment? I never got treatment but my parents stuck me to a stict diet.

How is recovery going? Everyonce in awhile I will either binge on some days and other days I won't eat sometime i won't eat for weeks after having an episode of Binge eating

What advise do you give to ones who struggle with eating disorders? To get help don't hide. It will be hard, but being healthy is way better than suffering by yourself. Confide in someone who will motivate you to get better. And love yourself even with the curves. Learning to accept yourself is the biggest and hardest step but it's important. Eat healthy and exercise is the best way. Don't starve yourself to look beautiful because you already are.

Anything else you want to add?




Life is too

Short to spend

It at war with

Yourself.

Iím catching stars in the sky because I am fixing the soul within me. May it be from the heart a girl broke years ago or my soul simply repairing itself as it was shattered on my walk on this earth. May the stardust fill those cracks within my soul making me brand new, but never forgetting who I once was.


   
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Re: Interview (Rob gave me permission) - April 26th 2015, 11:52 PM

What eating disorder do you face? Bulimia & EDNOS.

How long have you fought with an eating disorder? About 8 years now.

Do you know what triggered these negative behaviors? Years of abuse and mistreatment caused me to take (negative) control over my body.

How has it impacted your life? It has caused me to have a very unhealthy relationship with food. Whether I'm in "recovery" or not, I'm still always going to wonder and think about my eating habits.

Did any of your friends and family know about your eating disorder? Some of my friends & family know because I was in hospital and at doctor's appointments quite a bit.

How did people react when they found out? They were shocked and told me that I didn't need to lose weight because I was beautiful the way I was (not really helpful, but whatever).

When did you realize you needed help? When I was afraid of certain foods. That's when it really hit me that I needed help. I've never been afraid of food until I started restricting my calories by a ton.

What was apart of your treatment? Mental health and nutritional counseling.

How is recovery going? It's going. I've gained weight and I am looking to lose it, but I'm not doing it with unhealthy behaviors anymore. It's about a healthy lifestyle now.

What advise do you give to ones who struggle with eating disorders? Be strong. Eat because you know you need to. Accept the help because you deserve it.

Anything else you want to add? Recovery is an ongoing process, but it's worth it once you set your mind to it.


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-EAP-

   
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Re: Interview (Rob gave me permission) - April 27th 2015, 12:35 AM

What eating disorder do you face?
EDNOS

How long have you fought with an eating disorder?
Since I was 15 so 8 years

Do you know what triggered these negative behaviors?
I stopped cutting so I started starving myself instead and binging and purging

How has it impacted your life?
It's impacted my life by making me keep secrets and lying which i usually don't do.I lost friends that didn't understand. Instead I hung around the group that did understand and were bad influences for me.

Did any of your friends and family know about your eating disorder?
Grandma put it off as me just wanting to loose weight at first.But know she knows. Friends do know and some have left some have stayed.

How did people react when they found out?
They were surprised and they tried to understand some understood because they have an ED too.

When did you realize you needed help?
I got treatment at 19 but it didn't work and then I went to a treatment center in July of 2014

What was apart of your treatment?
I was on a food plan because I was purging I couldn't us the bathroom for thirty minutes after meals. I had DBT and EDA(Eating disorder anonymous) meetings

How is recovery going?
It suck as and I'm about to give up

What advise do you give to ones who struggle with eating disorders?
Get help as soon as possible don't let it get so bad that you can't get out.

Anything else you want to add?


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: Interview (Rob gave me permission) - April 27th 2015, 12:46 AM

What eating disorder do you face?
Bulimia

How long have you fought with an eating disorder?
7 or 8 years now.

Do you know what triggered these negative behaviors?
I was extremely thin in elementary school and I gained a lot of weight very quickly when I hit puberty. My dad started making very hurtful comments about my weight gain, saying that I needed to stop eating as much and that I needed to focus on losing weight. That and the fact that I was already very self-conscious, like most middle schoolers are, led me to taking extreme measures to regain control.

How has it impacted your life?
It's taken over my life in a lot of ways. Other negative behaviors, such as self harm, developed as a result of the self loathing that was linked to my weight. I can't go out to eat with my friends without thinking about food. Grocery shopping is a pain because of how much time I spend thinking about what the food might do to my body. I can't dress the way that I want to because I'm not comfortable enough in my own skin to wear anything but baggy clothes. A lot of the ways it's affected my life are really minor in and of themselves, but it really has taken over every aspect of my thinking and my life.

Did any of your friends and family know about your eating disorder?
No one knew for a long time. I hid everything that I was doing really well. It's only within the past few years that I've started to tell people outside of my TH support system. Even now, I can count on one hand the number of people that know what I'm struggling with.

How did people react when they found out?
There was a lot of shock, mainly because I'd done such a good job at covering my tracks. Bulimia is characterized by binging and purging, so I generally appear to be eating a solid amount of food. My purging was always done when I knew no one would be able to find out, so they really didn't have a good reason to suspect it.

When did you realize you needed help?
I think the first time I really knew things had gotten serious was when I lost an extreme amount of weight in a very short period of time. I had started using methods beyond my standard ones to lose weight and the impact was intense enough to be a wake up call for me.

What was apart of your treatment?
One of the most helpful things for me was using a joint app with my therapist. There is an app out there called "Recovery Record" which is entirely focused on helping people struggling with eating disorders. It asks questions about how you are feeling, what you ate for each meal (no calories!), how you felt after eating, and whether or not you engaged in any negative behaviors after eating. Once I really committed and decided to be honest about everything, it worked really well as an accountability tool. Other than that, my treatment was pretty standard.

How is recovery going?
Some days are harder than others, but it's going well lately.

What advise do you give to ones who struggle with eating disorders?
Keep fighting. It isn't going to be an easy journey, but it will be so worth it in the long run. Remember that you are not defined by the number on a scale, but by the type of person that you are. You are strong, you are beautiful, and you are never alone.


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Re: Interview (Rob gave me permission) - May 5th 2015, 01:41 PM



What eating disorder do you face? Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia

How long have you fought with an eating disorder? 7 years and still fighting

Do you know what triggered these negative behaviors? When I learnt that my parents wasn't a huge part of my life growing up. I heard my grandparents constantly fighting about how much I ate. The fact that I was bullied very badly in junior school.

How has it impacted your life? It changed my entire life, I stopped trusting people. I looked at calories and weight constantly. When I was diagnosed with an eating disorder, I was diagnosed with a few other things such as Anxiety and Depression.

Did any of your friends and family know about your eating disorder? When my grandparents noticed some changes in my behaviour and diet, they took me to the psychologist. My boarding school knew (it was horrid) and my best friend knew as well.

How did people react when they found out? My grandparents was very very shocked and when they found out that they were part of the reason, they freaked out and was very apologetic towards me but they were very strict when it came to me eating.

When did you realize you needed help? I was too young to understand that I needed help but my grandparents straight away put me in hospital, when I was almost 13 years old. I needed help again when I was 18 because the death of my grandparents was too much for me to handle.

What was apart of your treatment? Health plan, meal plans, therapy, counselling.

How is recovery going? I wouldn't say recovery but I'm definitely fighting it. I'm currently in hospital until November 2015. Hopefully I'll be well enough to move into my own home.

What advise do you give to ones who struggle with eating disorders? It's a long tough road to recovery. Accept every bit of help that the doctors give you. The road to recovery is worth it! Be strong!


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Re: Interview (Rob gave me permission) - May 5th 2015, 10:34 PM

What eating disorder do you face?

I have been diagnosed with EDNOS.

How long have you fought with an eating disorder?

I have been fighting it since I was really young but it got bad when I was in 8th grade so....its been quite a few years. So, like ten years or more.

Do you know what triggered these negative behaviors?

My abuse was a big trigger. In my family being overweight is looked down upon and I constantly got negative comments about my weight. It led to me feeling the need to restrict and then I eventually started purging.

How has it impacted your life?

I never feel good enough. I am constantly thinking about food, weight and how ugly I am. I don't feel as though I am worthy of being loved.

Did any of your friends and family know about your eating disorder?

My dad and one friend know.

How did people react when they found out?

They didn't really believe it because of my weight. My dad doesn't acknowledge the restricting or purging that I do and just acknowledges that I am an over eater.

When did you realize you needed help?

I realized I needed help when I was 19 or 20 and I was purging on a daily basis numerous times a day.

What was apart of your treatment?

I went to a day treatment program where they diagnosed me with EDNOS. I did DBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, learned about nutrition and had a meal plan implemented.

How is recovery going?

I am not doing well in recovery. I am either overeating or purging. I restrict sometimes too but that has decreased lately.

What advise do you give to ones who struggle with eating disorders?


Get help as soon as possible. The longer you struggle with it the harder it is to stop. It's a terrible thing to struggle with and is a life long battle.

Anything else you want to add?


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Re: Interview (Rob gave me permission) - May 6th 2015, 04:40 AM

What eating disorder do you face?
Binge eating disorder. (There have been times I have been extremely guilty and avoided food for days)

How long have you fought with an eating disorder?
The past 5-6 years but I was officially diagnosed a little less than two years ago.

Do you know what triggered these negative behaviors?
Years of physical and sexual abuse. I used to be very skinny and people in school used to taunt me about it, I guess that aggravated things.

How has it impacted your life?
I started avoiding people. My self harming increased. I started smoking/ drinking more to try and distract myself from thoughts of food. Basically everything just fell apart.

Did any of your friends and family know about your eating disorder?
My mom found food hidden in my room and when she confronted me about it, I told her. She told my dad. Apart from my parents my three best friends know. I guess you could even count my family doctor, because he has been extremely supportive throughout.

How did people react when they found out?
My parents were a bit worried, but I never had to face over reactions from anyone. Everyone was kind of supportive in their own way. I haven't had to courage to tell anybody else, though.

When did you realize you needed help?
I was scared to get help. When my mom found out she convinced me to get help. I refused to go to a professional, I knew word would get around and I didn't want that. I live in a pretty orthodox country where people are still yet to come to terms with disorders. So we went to my family doctor who put me on a diet chart which I have managed to stick to for over 4 months now.

What was apart of your treatment?
Like I mentioned above, the diet chart. My parents helped me stick to it. I gave up all my stocks of hidden food and for the first three months I had to ask my parents before I could anything. In the last one month I have managed to say no to food and it actually does feel good.

How is recovery going? I have't binged since January 1st 2015. I wont say easy, but I am getting there, I guess. Ever since I stopped binging I have started to feel less guilty, its helped with the self harm and drinking.

What advise do you give to ones who struggle with eating disorders?
Don't let others define you. You are beautiful the way you are. Don't hesitate to get help. Recovery is not easy, but in the end its all going to be worth it.

Anything else you want to add?


"Being happy isn't about having everything in your life perfect. Maybe it is about stringing together all the little things."

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