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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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UGH problem and TRIGGERED!!!! - June 29th 2015, 01:03 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

For the last week I haven't really wanted to eat but I do it anyway. I usually am the second one finished eating and prefer to be first because I hate people watching me eat. It feels like I'm eating slow because I'm forcing myself to eat. I also just ate and nobody is home I want to purge so bad it's not even funny. I feel so sick to my stomach. It's disgusting.

I was also reading an artical about how Kelly Clarkson continues to loose weight after she gains it. Well one of the paragraph says this
When we asked her about her exercise routine, Kelly told us "Exercise? *laughs* No, I didn't need to exercise. I'm usually pretty active on tour, but I didn't change my routine at home. The only thing I did was took these pills. They're a natural weight loss supplement called CAN't SAY They're totally safe."
And fuck since Kelly is taking them and there safe it makes me want to get them and try them. Honestly I've never tried any diet pill and my ED is coming back and the voices are telling me to try anything to get rid of this nastyness.

I feel like I will never recover from this eating disorder and that I'm not worth recovery either because I am so nasty to look at maybe at my goal weight I might be worth recovering but knowing my body I'll still look gross.

I just don't know what the hell to do anymore.

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: UGH problem and TRIGGERED!!!! - June 29th 2015, 09:01 PM

Hi there.

Firstly I want to point out that YOU ARE worth recovery. I wouldn't wish any of this upon the person I want dead the most in the world. You don't deserve to have to go through this each day and have to struggle with your eating in this way. I have EDNOS and Bulimia and when it was bad, it was horrible and I felt the same way as you. But people helped me through it and you deserve people to help you through it too, to help you realise that you do deserve the help and you do deserve to get better. I wouldn't be sitting here saying it if I didn't mean it. Honestly.

I know when we look up to people we like like Kelly (feels weird just saying her first name ) but you don't have to follow in her ways. You know what is healthy for you and what isn't and you need to put you first in this because you are what matters. You need to keep on a healthy but balanced diet and avoid using diet pills in my opinion, especially since you have an eating disorder because it could get so addictive and you could become very obsessive over it. I know it's difficult but you need to look after yourself.

Do you have any help with your eating disorder? I don't think I have really spoken to you before so I am not sure but I think if you do, talk to the people helping you and explain all of this to them and if you don't then talk to someone. Why? Because you deserve the help and support. People like friends and family and us are great but sometimes talking to a professional can help. Someone like you doctor, or a counselor, or you could even look into seeing an eating disorder specialist or/and a dietitian if you feel its needed. You know what help you need so discuss it with you doctor and see where to go from there. But you do deserve the help because you do deserve to get better.

I hope this helps a little.

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
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Re: UGH problem and TRIGGERED!!!! - July 2nd 2015, 04:21 AM

Hey there,

First things first, I need to make something very clear. You ARE worth recovery. Whenever you think you aren't, remind yourself that it is your eating disorder talking. You deserve to have the best life that you possibly can and, as you and I both know, maintaining destructive behaviors isn't going to help you achieve that.

As Jessie said, there is nothing that says we need to model our lifestyle changes after celebrities like Kelly Clarkson. Yes, they can offer great tips, but their methods may not be the best for you or anyone else in the general public. There are a few things to think about with this. It's entirely possible that Kelly is being PAID to talk about the weight loss pills she is taking. It's really no different than Julieanne Hough doing a Proactiv commercial. If a celebrity mentions the name of a product, it's safe to assume they're being paid to do so. The second thing to consider is the fact that celebrities generally have a team of dieticians and nutritionists making sure that they are staying in good shape and keeping up with their health. When you have that kind of expertise, taking weight loss pills can be a bit safer because of the fact that there are people who will know instantly if something is going wrong and will have the knowledge to correct the issue.

Have you brought up your eating disorder to a doctor? If not, it's something that you might consider. By communicating your struggles to a medical professional, more windows will open up for you. They'll be able to refer you to a dietician or nutritionist who will be able to discuss your weight loss, health, and fitness goals with you more clearly. From there, you'll be able to come up with a plan that will allow you to work towards achieving your desired weight while staying healthy through it all.

Best of luck!

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foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
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and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
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Re: UGH problem and TRIGGERED!!!! - July 2nd 2015, 07:45 PM

Hey there,

I know you are having urges to take diet pills but I would be careful in regards to that. You haven't used diet pills in the past and they can have a number of different side effects on your body. I know that Kelly Clarkson spoke out about these diet pills but that doesn't, necessarily, mean anything. As stated, a lot of celebrities are paid to endorse those types of products. I've also found that most diet pills don't actually work all they tend to do is make a person jittery and uncomfortable.

If you can you might want to open up to your therapist about the thoughts you are having. While your therapist can't stop you from taking diet pills or partaking in your ED behaviors they can listen to the concerns you are having and help you try and work through it.

I know that my therapist talks to me about the thoughts that I am having and tries to help me thinks about things in a rational matter. The talks don't always help but it's better than not talking to them about it and trying to deal with the thoughts all on my own.

I hope that this helped in some way and if you need anything you can message me.

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problem, triggered, ugh

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