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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Exclamation this isn't me! (s/h and ED trigs) and fairly bad language... - March 27th 2010, 11:05 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I self harm ... that's what I do when things are shitty, even when I hate me and the way I look ....

Recently (and I know exactly what triggered it) I've just been thinking I need to loose weight, fine, I started changing the foods I was eating, cutting out a lot of crap and introducing fruits and veg ... I have a target weight (and I'm gonna stick to it) I'm feeling quite positive about it

So why on earth am I putting myself through hell and purging after eating? It would make some sort of sense in my head if I was harming after eating, but this?!? I can't help it! I've no idea what I'm doing. I've not harmed in *weeks* the thought hasn't even crossed my mind.

Before anyone tells me the dangers of this - I know them, I've done the research I know what I'm doing (and how little of this I can't actually control) That's what scares me the most I think ... the fact that I can't really ever be in control of this ...

I really can't stand this ...
Sorry for wasting your time on this


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Re: this isn't me! (s/h and ED trigs) and fairly bad language... - March 27th 2010, 11:22 PM

if you are really worried about what you're doing to yourself and are concerned for yourself, maybe you might consider telling someone?and getting some help? of course i dont really know your whole situation so, just a suggestion though.

~Brookie/Brooke


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YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

KEEP MOVING FORWARD


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Re: this isn't me! (s/h and ED trigs) and fairly bad language... - March 28th 2010, 12:44 AM

first of all your not wasting our time. your purging is your substiontion for self harming. thats how you stop self harming in the first place, by replacing it with something else. since you know the dangers, i'm not going to repeat them. but you do need to stop. what i suggest you do is get help, like previously stated in the above post. Telling someone and people will also be helpful. If you can stop this on your own, do so. What also might help is to give yourself a mental talk.


" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "

i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.

i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
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Re: this isn't me! (s/h and ED trigs) and fairly bad language... - March 28th 2010, 01:56 AM

thank you for your help guys!

emoticon- I don't want to go back to self harming though ... and that's the only natural route that it seems to go. What can kind of mental talk?

Brooke - who can I talk to though? Everyone around me worries too much ...


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Re: this isn't me! (s/h and ED trigs) and fairly bad language... - March 28th 2010, 05:55 AM

then find another obsession. I started making duct tape wallets, painting, getting obsessed with fish. i also started doing routine things, like turning off lights at a certain time or cooking at a certain time. the point for the rountine things is because self harm is routine. it's something you do on a regular basis, so the idea is to replace it with something else. this seem weird, but you can start tapping your fingers. but the important trick to all these things is to not get addicted. of course when i started doing them it was jsut to get my mind of cutting, i never got addicted to them. but i know people who have.
mental talk- for me, it's rationalzing everything i do and why. realizing the things i do are good for me, bad for me, fun to do, etc. if you have a mental talk with yourself, then whenever you feel like self harm or purging, remember your mental talk and/or give yourself one, it'll distract you hopefully.


" One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. "

i wonder when i'll finally jsut start accepting myself, when i'll stop saying i wish i could be like that person.

i have facebook, and myspace. and you can ask for it. :P
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Re: this isn't me! (s/h and ED trigs) and fairly bad language... - March 28th 2010, 06:38 AM

I think you should tell someone. A friend or a family member who you trust and who can keep an eye on you. Maybe even someone on here who you can message and who can just check that you've been eating. But that will only work as long as you're willing to be honest about it. That's why a family member/room mate would be good because they would be around all the time. And they might worry, but they will worry a lot less than if they find out down the line, through seeing you lose too much weight.

Finding something else to do would be good as well. Something that you could do after eating, so that you don't get the chance to purge. Just a book to read or something to write or anything that interests you.
   
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Re: this isn't me! (s/h and ED trigs) and fairly bad language... - March 28th 2010, 11:05 PM

I think i will talk to my b/f when he gets back tomorrow about it! I've not purged at all today!! So I'm hoping that it will get better once he's back!!

Thank you everyone!!


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Re: this isn't me! (s/h and ED trigs) and fairly bad language... - March 29th 2010, 06:49 PM

Closing at the request of the OP




"Do not ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

“if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies”

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