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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
lost_chil Offline
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Exclamation Done eating - March 30th 2010, 11:51 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've had it... Honestly... I'm done... My life is out of control, I am seeing my mom about as much as I see my counselor, and I am starting to hate my sister more and more. I am finished with all of this shit. The only thing I have control with is my eating, which I have decided last night, is done. I ate this morning, and thats all. I am at school, not eating. when I go home, I am going to tell them up front, I won't eat. I am FINISHED! I was talking to my friend, she wants me to admit myself, I am not going to... If my mom and step dad want me to eat, they are going to have to admit me. I refuse. I'm done. I am trying SO hard not t purge my breakfast now... I got a lot more laxatives yesterday(100) so thats good. I should be able to lose the weight I will gain due to my binge last night and this morning. I have just had it. I am posting another post in the family section to explain more about my family situation...

My question is, what can they really do about this? If I refuse to eat, all together. What can they do? Can they force feed me at home? I live in Canada, and I believe anything of the sort is illegal. But I am probably wrong. I have jusdt had it, and am not eating with them anymore. Not going out to eat, not eating at home, nothing. I will eat little if I am hingry, when I am hungry. Not when they say. But what can they do? Do they have to accept it and let me not eat. I know they can admit me, I don't care about that. But aside from admiting me, what can they do?











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Re: Done eating - March 30th 2010, 02:54 PM

They can't tie you down and stuff food in your mouth, no. But if you refuse to eat, they will admit you. It sounds like right now, given your mental and physical state, being in the hospital would actually not be a bad thing for you. For your own sake, I hope you get into the hospital and get some help. I know life seems unbearable right now. I know that eating seems like a non-option. It gets better. And I know you don't believe me, but you will, one day soon.

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lost_chil Offline
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Re: Done eating - March 30th 2010, 03:35 PM

Thats what I wanted to know. I have a good feeling they are going to admit me soon. Because like I said, I am not eating anymore. They will cook me food, and I will just tell them no. I refuse to eat with them, I refuse to eat alone, I refse to eat period. I will eat when I want, I will prge after I eat, and if they don't like it, they can admit me. I am emotionally and physically tired. My guts are killing me(I am taking more of a stronger laxative now...) so that might be why. I ate breakfast for the first time in like... 2 months today, so that is also killing me... I just know I am finished, and wish that I was able to purge my breakfast but it's already way to late... fml...

I am a little scared of going to the hospital thogh... I am terrified of them! If they freak out and admite me, what will happen? Can someone tell me what will happen ifthey admit me please...? I am really really sccared of being admitted, and can my mom and step dad really fully admit me as in like an in-patient thing. or can they only put me in the ER and ge examined?











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Re: Done eating - March 31st 2010, 06:34 AM

I was threatened with admission, and because I was soooo scared I made a "it won't work but i'll give it a go" effort to recover, and I have never felt so GOOD in my life!

I was taken to the hospital, expecting a lecture, like every other person has given me. But no, the hospital lady was strict, and she meant business. If I was any worse the next week, I would be admitted (my blood pressure and that.) Thankfully, it was fine the next week so I managed to stay out.

You want to know what they will do? If you refuse to eat, they put a tube down your throat and basically pour fat in to you. Well thats what they do here anyway. The lady said because I was so underweight they would just put the tube straight down, no bargaining. That was what motivated me to try a recover.
But, because I never made myself sick, my Potassium levels remained normal, and i am certain yours wont be. If you get admitted, I swear you will hate it.

Would you rather eat HEALTHY now, like fruit and veges, or go to hospital and be forced to eat what they make, and it will be high calorie foods.
Trust me, I know what I would pick if I was you. You don't deserve to do this to yourself.
   
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lost_chil Offline
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Re: Done eating - April 1st 2010, 11:47 AM

Alright, I've done some thinking... I can't "not" eat at home... Step dad will tell mom, and I'm terrified of her when she is mad... So I have to keep purging and "faking" instead... Sorry everyone, I didn't think this through so I am not going to be able to not eat with them knowing. I am going to have to purge my dinner every night, and starve during the day, my usual... Any opinions? I can't "not eat" so that means I won't be getting admitted for a long time, because no one has caught on. so ya... I don't know how else to let them know, because I refuse to tell them, and I am not 100% for recovery... There is a little voice in my head, so like 5% that says try it, but the rest if no...

I am not scared of admission, but I am scared of being forced to go on the tube, and I will refuse, I mean it. I will scream, kick, fight, everything to refuse the tube... anyways... that was a little vent that last part... Any ideas on what I can do? I want recovery at the moment, but I won't in like 5 minutes, so posting this now...











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Last edited by lost_chil; April 1st 2010 at 01:37 PM.
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