friend

[hollyberry]

I used to have problems with food for years but ive been ok for the last year or so. I have this friend whos a bit of a bad friend, the sort that makes you feel bad about yourself. shes so pretty and creative and confident and she always seems to fall on her feet and i pretty much have always felt rubbish around her apart from one thing. shes bigger than me, and she has a different shaped body where her weight is more around her middle.
recently thought shes lost weight healthily and she is planning on losing more.
for some reason in my head thinking that she could get thinner than me is the worst things that could happen. i know ive gained weight since ive stopped starving myself and its just really triggered me to start again.
i know its really stupid especially at my age to think something like this but i cant help it and its giving me a massive incentive to lose the weight again and i dont know what to do. i know its probably partly that she is getting so much attention from it which was always an issue for me, but i just feel like this is the only thing i have over some of my friends, especially her.
im not pretty or very confident like her and i just am feeling the need again to lose weight, to be hungry, to control it like i used to. i dont know if its her or i just needed an excuse.
if anyone has any advice i would really appreciate it. i know it might sound totally ridiculous but for some reason its how i feel.
thanks, Holly

[Nomatophobia]

You should always maintain a healthy diet. Drink plenty of water, get all your nutrients, walk every day, keep your head on straight and plan your meals accordingly. It's tough looking at a friend and knowing they can get thinner than you, but remember they're struggling. They don't feel comfortable in their body just yet, so don't let it influence you.