Triggering (SH): weirdness

[jojo92]

so, i was bul/ana on and off for 2 years, and i know this is wrong but i loved it. is it wrong im mad i stopped. i want to just puke like i used to but i cant, too many of my friends count on me. i still make myself throw up 2-4 times a week. this is going to sounds weird but i got oral peircings so i wont throw up,. i know this sounds very confusing and contridicting. im sorry. its just hard. and when i dont throw up, i cut. i dont know. i guess im asking, is it wrong to want to have my ed back. do i even still have it? ughhh

[Agoraphobia♥]

Hey, as wrong as it sounds, that's normal for someone who's suffered with an ED, most people who have dealt or are dealing with ED's, don't see it as a problem, and it makes them happy. As bad as it sounds it's not unusual for someone recovering, to miss their ED, it was a security blanket, all be it a very dangerous one. I think it might help if you talk to someone like a therapist or counselor if you aren't already. And if you are still forcing yourself to throw up for the purpose of losing weight, I think you still do have the eating disorder. I think you should talk to a doctor as well. But you need to talk to some professionals, it could help a lot. It can help you get out of that mind set that the ED isn't so bad, because in all reality it is, even if you don't think so or don't want to admit it. But you are by no means weird in this way. It's all too common for those recovering. If you ever want to talk, you can always PM me.

[Revolution]

Hey there,

As somebody recovering from purging habits within eating disorders, I know how addictive it can be. However, you are in the age I was in from about April-August of last year. I had just been diagnosed with a lot of cavities, and knew my purging was causing it, so I was cutting down my purging, and thought myself as "recovered" and "missed purging", yet I was still purging weekly. I have also continued the "If I'm not purging I"m cutting" habit. Last year, was so proud of my "year and a half without self harm" victory. It was all a facade, I was purging the entire time, and felt just as horrible as if I was cutting. They all affect each other. And although you no longer show the signs of Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia Nervosa, you still are performing a dangerous habit, and although it may not have the severity it did before, it is still serious.

It's not all about stopping the actions. You can stop crying and still feel depressed. You may stop writing but still write poems in your head. If you are still having negative, self hating thoughts, you are still in the low self esteem risk of an eating disorder, and the habits will continue to return. Have you talked to an adult you trust about these issues that you are having with your eating? Have you ever seen a therapist about it? In the short run, recovery is hell. You have to completely change your life, change from the day-by-day habits you have formed, and trust me, I HATE change, I HATE anybody messing with my schedule, but trust me it is WORTH it. Wouldn't it be great to stop throwing up? To lose weight (if you need it) the healthy way, and feel good inside rather than feeling constantly sick? There are so many more positives than negatives.

I'm here if you need to talk. And what kind of piercing do you have? I have a lip stud myself. Yay for oral piercings. New symbol of recovery. Cheye's got her Monroes, it's lip stud parteh, yaay!!

[jojo92]

thanks guys, spider bites (double lip rings same side) tounge web, and tounge

srry bout to posts, i posted that then wanted to redo it.itsjust hard,i dont know ifits mebeing stupid.likei can be happy, or think im happy, but then something will happen or ill think something and be like from now on im not going to eat or i have to throw up 6 times in the next 2 days, and i cant not do it if that makes any sense.



and coffee spider bites (double lip rings same side) tounge web, and tounge

[Agoraphobia♥]

Recovery will always be hard, but it's always worth knowing that you don't have to hurt yourself anymore to feel better about yourself. You can do it and Traci (Coffe♥) and I will always welcome you to PM us. And those are some awesome piercings, yeah like Traci said, I have my angel bites (monroe on each side), so it's an lip piercing party! Lolz.