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Max_99 Offline
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Transitioning from user to clean - February 8th 2015, 09:08 PM

Hello lovelies!

So first off, let me say that I'm very excited to share that I've started getting my shit together. For a long while I was struggling with school, skipping classes every day, and feeling like I was worthless. My boyfriend works all the time and has given me crap (lovingly) for not having a job and never having money, as well as the fact that I had left school and was spending my day at home messing around, and that I don't drive or work.

WELL, I'm working on it. I signed up for a CNA (certified nursing assistant) course that I'll be starting March 18th, and hopefully start my clinicals at a local nursing home in late April. I'm also studying to take the driving test so that I can get a license to drive a moped, which is my first step to eventually driving a car. It's a big step for me as I'm terrified of driving or being in cars. Last, I'm going to be starting the process of getting my GED in the next few weeks. So yay! Big change from where I was at- can't help but give myself a little pat on the back.

ANYWAY. So, I've been smoking weed every day (1-2x/day) for the last year. It was very effective in helping me to sleep at night as well as help level my moods. I have depression, anxiety, and ADD that all make functioning pretty difficult without the cannabis. Traditional pharmaceuticals never really worked well or assisted me quite like weed does. The thing is, I have to be able to pass a drug test for my CNA program/clinicals/job, so I have to quit. I'd really appreciate if anyone has tips on transitioning from being an avid user to clean, as well as tips on functioning without weed there to help me out.

As far as my condition goes, I tend to have terrible sleeping issues. When I try to fall asleep, I just toss and turn in bed because I think so much. I'll start thinking to myself something like, "I wonder if he's being honest. If he can lie about something as small as whether or not he has a certain app on his phone, could he be lying about bigger things too? What if he is lying to me? I'm always lied to. I shouldn't be mad at him for lying to me- I deserve it. I'm nothing. I'm ugly, fat, my personality sucks, and no one wants me. I should just take what I can get. No, I shouldn't. No one deserves to have to deal with me. I don't deserve any love- I'm not worthy of love. In fact, I'm not worthy of anything I have. I'm not worthy of him. I'm not worthy of life. I need to self-harm. I should be anorexic so that I'd lose weight, maybe then someone would love me. Maybe then I'd be worth something. I'll never be worth something- I need to kill myself. How can I do it?" and then I spiral into a meltdown with crying, occasional self-harm, and suicidal thoughts. I just tend to worry constantly about EVERYTHING. I'm very paranoid and always think people have secret or secondary motives for doing things. I'm also in an almost constant state of worry and depression. I tend to have emotional meltdowns at minimum once a day, but I try to keep the majority of them to myself. Usually I just start thinking things in my head and not saying them, and then drive myself crazy until I cry or flip out. I just can't ever seem to chill out- and that's what I used the weed for. I could smoke and just chill out, I stopped being paranoid and worried and crazy. It shut off my mind and allowed me to be a bit more of a normal person.

Now I have to quit the one thing that offered me relief and it's hard, and I'm terrified. Hopefully someone here can help me out and offer some advice. Hugs! <3
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Re: Transitioning from user to clean - February 9th 2015, 09:20 PM

Hello there,

Congratulations with all the progress you have made, that is a huge step forward.

Transitioning from using cannabis to none so you can pass the drug test that is required. With any kind of drug you need to wean yourself off of it slowly. If you go to fast you most likely will have a lot of withdrawal symptoms which can make it even more challenging.

What kinds of supports do you have in place? Do you have any close friends, family that you can express that you are going to stop using cannabis so you can pass the drug test? Another helpful route is you can discuss other ways with your family doctor or counselor, they can also monitor you.

You say you take cannabis 1-2 times a day. Is there days where you don't take it? If you take it twice a day, try to wean down to just once a day. Or wean down to once a day every other day. If you feel good about it, start spacing the days apart from which you had cannabis last.

It might help to keep a journal of your progress as well. Keep track of how you felt during the day and when you last used cannabis and write a reminder why you would like to stop. It;s important to put reminders up for us to see so we know why we are quitting or reducing the use of something and how much it means to you to do this.

The important thing to know about taking cannabis is that it's a hard process to stop using it and it takes time. For the reasons you listed above, those reasons seem like good reasons to talk to your family doctor or a counselor. Do you see your family doctor regularly or a counselor? It's important to be looked after during the time of your quit, because you will have strong feelings, just like you had before you started to use cannabis. You need to be safe when you wean yourself off and doing so by yourself it's harder, so having supports set in place, it can be much easier. A counselor can help you with how you are feelings, any emotions that come up they can assist you.

Let us know how you are doing. I hope you have some supports in place and if not, you can add TeenHelp to the list.

Take Care.

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Max_99 Offline
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Re: Transitioning from user to clean - February 10th 2015, 07:47 PM

I appreciate your response!

Luckily I don't really seem to experience many withdrawl symptoms, the bigger issue is that cannabis was my go-to coping method for dealing with my anxiety and sleeping issues, so that's where I need the advice I think. I made an appointment with a psychiatrist to see about getting on some medications for next week, and I'm hoping they'll be able to help me out.
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