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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
toxictragedy__ Offline
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i dont know what to tell her anymore... - May 9th 2009, 11:51 PM

my best friend smokes weed and drinks.
and every time she brings it up to me i tell her how stupid it is and all these facts and she just tells me to shut up. she never wants to hear it. i dont know what to say to her anymore. and when i tell her the facts like how underage drinkin can cause brain damage and stuff shes just like, im not gojng to get brain damage! its as if she thinks its safe and fine. and when i todl her it doesnt ake her cool she says that shes not trying to be cool shes just trying to have fun.
what are some things that i can tell her to get her to think twice?


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i dont know what to tell her anymore... - May 10th 2009, 05:21 AM

You've told her all the facts, you've told her what you think. Why not tell her how it makes you feel when she does it? Corny, I know, but maybe that's what she needs to hear. My boyfriend[at the time he was my friend] smoked pot a lot. When he first starting telling me he did, I'd get upset with him and sort of give him the cold shoulder for a day. When he tried to hide it from me, and I still found out, I'd just get even more upset, and ignore him a little longer. He respected me a lot and eventually stopped all together.
I'm not sure how your relationship is with your friend, so I can't tell you exactly what to do. Try the feelings thing haha. It may work

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i dont know what to tell her anymore... - May 10th 2009, 05:49 AM

Drinking and smoking weed aren't good for you, but she could be doing things that are a lot worse. You've been a good friend by trying to get her to stop, but at this point it's up to her. Preaching about health risks tend to make people defensive, so I doubt that will work. There's nothing you can do or say to make her stop. If anything, I'd play the feelings angle, like Mel13 said. You can tell her it upsets you when she does these things. You can refuse to hang out with her when she's high and/or drunk. You can distance the friendship until she stops. Unfortunately, most teenagers seem to think they are invincible and won't stop doing things like this until they're negatively affected by it. If you think her well being is seriously in danger, maybe you want to tell one of her parents. It's not exactly a pleasant solution for anyone involved, but it's usually effective. I hope you can find a way to get her to stop, and hopefully you continue to avoid weed and alcohol yourself!


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Re: i dont know what to tell her anymore... - May 10th 2009, 08:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mel14 View Post
You've told her all the facts, you've told her what you think. Why not tell her how it makes you feel when she does it? Corny, I know, but maybe that's what she needs to hear. My boyfriend[at the time he was my friend] smoked pot a lot. When he first starting telling me he did, I'd get upset with him and sort of give him the cold shoulder for a day. When he tried to hide it from me, and I still found out, I'd just get even more upset, and ignore him a little longer. He respected me a lot and eventually stopped all together.
I'm not sure how your relationship is with your friend, so I can't tell you exactly what to do. Try the feelings thing haha. It may work

Best wishes,
Megan

ive been ignoring her since last night :/
she kept texting me over and over and eventually her letters were all jumbled up because she was so drunk and high.


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i dont know what to tell her anymore... - May 11th 2009, 01:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by toxictragedy__ View Post
ive been ignoring her since last night :/
she kept texting me over and over and eventually her letters were all jumbled up because she was so drunk and high.
Maybe you should just tolerate it for now, and when she needs you be there for her. But when shes drunk or high, you can ignore her, and maybe she'll finally understand you. Or when you know she's in a situation that she might get high or drunk, be with her? Like when she's out 'having fun.' Maybe you'll have more of an influence on her then


I'm a house of cards in a hurricane.
A reckless ride in the pouring rain.
He cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel.
He'll dance away just like a child.
He drives me crazy, drives me wild.
But I'm helpless when he smiles.


He broke my heart when I broke his xbox360

Cherry Cherry Boom Boom
   
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Re: i dont know what to tell her anymore... - May 11th 2009, 01:40 AM

If she doesn't want to stop, she's not going to stop.
It's a simple as that.

You need to show her that you're serious, and give her a reason to stop.
If you ignore her but then give in, it'll give her the impression that she can do whatever she wants.

If you want to keep ignoring her, keep with it.
And when she asks you what's wrong, you tell her how much all the stuff she's doing is hurting you and you don't want to be a part of it.
Sometime people need to realise what they're doing is wrong by themselves.
You should just be there to pick her up when she falls.
Good luck.






   
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Re: i dont know what to tell her anymore... - May 11th 2009, 03:31 PM

Well you will never get your friend to listen to you by pestering her like that. It's cool to give out facts, but I think you're going a little overboard with this. She's a teenager. Many kids at this age experiment with alcohol and weed. Unless she's constantly getting wasted and being completely careless about what she's doing, i'd say just leave it alone. I don't really sense that she's doing any remarkable damage to herself, and this is her life. That's something you just have to understand.

Ignoring her and ditching her because she's doing something you don't like is not the way a true friend should act towards another. That's just not the way to treat people. Would you like it if the roles were switched and she didn't like something you were doing and just decided to ignore you? She's your friend. She needs you. You two both need to make compromises if you want this friendship to work out. Just be there with her and make sure she knows that you don't want her to be around you when she's high or drunk and just watch over her and be there for her. Make sure she does the same, because I bet my life on it that when you get older you'll probably get drunk atleast once and you'll need a friend to take care of you or hold your hair back when you're puking. Accept her for who she is and she'll accept you for who you are too. If she's doing any noticeable damage to herself, then if you can't do anything it's time to tell an adult, but only if she's having a big issue with drugs and alcohol.
   
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Re: i dont know what to tell her anymore... - May 11th 2009, 09:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by toxictragedy__ View Post
ive been ignoring her since last night :/
she kept texting me over and over and eventually her letters were all jumbled up because she was so drunk and high.
The texts were jumbled because of the alchohal, not the Weed. Dont asume she was high based on that. And also. Weed isnt the end of the world. Sure, its not good to be drinking and getting high at your age since Its going to effect her ability to do well in school and stuff, but honestly, weed is not that horrible. All it does is make you calm, relaxed, happy, and hungry.... and I agree with the point that pestering her wont make her quit. It will most likely do the oppisite.
   
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