TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Substance Use Whether you are combating substance abuse, are in search support, or have questions about drugs or alcohol, ask in this forum.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
3ofHearts Offline
of Wonderland.
Not a n00b
**
 
3ofHearts's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: That big nothern country.

Posts: 87
Join Date: September 28th 2009

I don't know what to do anymore...(About a mother) - September 28th 2009, 03:22 AM

This thread has been labeled as non-PG13 by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for younger users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've been living with my mother for four years now, and even before then I've been somewhatly aware of her addiction problems. At first I was completely supportive of her, I always told the that "this was the last time," or "things are getting better," things like that. At that stage in my life, I was also quite suicide, and just getting our of Elementary school. A couple of months after I moved in with my mother, my older sister did too. We lived as happily as we could for two years, but progressively our situation turned sour. My older sister fell into the anarchist crowd, my mother lost her teeth, people died, and everyone in my house fell into some sort of depression.

Eventually, my sister ran away from home and my mother's drug use went through the roof. It was so bad for about a year that I was physically getting sick because of the substances she smoked. She would vanish for days and steal money, I had no idea what to do. Back then, I did what I could and looked after her the best I could. I cleaned, cooked, and looked after her mentally and physically the best I could as a middle schooler.

Then, a couple of Christmas' ago, she really did choose the drugs over me. She came to my room a week or so before Christmas, asking for money, I said no. She threatened to take away privileges and we began to argue. Long story short she ended up choking me. I went couch surfing for awhile, when SS were looking for a place for me to stay. At the time I was just angry more then anything, and with myself. I blamed myself for making my mother like that, and for being helpless to do anything for her. I ended up back with my mother only because I refused to live in the only foster home available.

Since then, she slowed down on the drug use a tiny bit, but still 'borrows' money from me. She's in contact more with my sister, but if anything bad happens she's off her rocker and in the deep end. She's tried NA, getting clean at a hospital, and going cold turkey by herself. Nothing has ever worked. She says she wants to get into Rehab, which she was supposed to months ago, but can't stay clean long enough too.

My point of view has also changed quite a bit. I've stopped victimizing her for about a year now. She just annoys me now, like something pointless. I've lost almost all respect for her, and I can be quite condescending because we are quite opposite. I'm very sarcastic, nihilist, crude and pessimistic, as where she is idealistic, religious, and not really open to new ideas. She tends to only understand what she wants to understand. The two of us are quite confrontational.

Also as an additional note, if anyone is to tell me I need therapy:
A) Old news is old.
B) It's never really worked that well for me, and I have trust issues.

Also:
My mother does Pot, crack, and meth. She also has disabilities both mental and physical.

What do I do to deal with this?!
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Beautiful_mind Offline
counsellor @ positive mind
Average Joe
***
 
Beautiful_mind's Avatar
 
Name: chantel
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: australia

Posts: 166
Join Date: July 16th 2009

Re: I don't know what to do anymore...(About a mother) - October 3rd 2009, 04:42 AM

well i would suggest talk to someone but you dont want that so maybe well i dont know how old you are but couldnt you live with an other family member? it doesnt sound like home is where you should be and ask your mum again if she still wants to go to rehab. you cant force her to go but if she sees that you really want her to go maybe she will.
  Send a message via MSN to Beautiful_mind Send a message via Yahoo to Beautiful_mind  
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
3ofHearts Offline
of Wonderland.
Not a n00b
**
 
3ofHearts's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: That big nothern country.

Posts: 87
Join Date: September 28th 2009

Re: I don't know what to do anymore...(About a mother) - October 3rd 2009, 05:45 AM

I don't have any other family members, except maybe one who could possibly look after me. They're half way across the country.

Yeah, I've had some bad experiences with therapy. It's never really worked well for me, at all.


“There is no truth. There is only perception.” - Gustave Flaubert

“Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.”

“I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then”
-Lewis Carol

"Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man."-Zhuangzi



   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Ravie Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Ravie's Avatar
 
Age: 28

Posts: 14
Join Date: October 14th 2009

Re: I don't know what to do anymore...(About a mother) - October 14th 2009, 08:47 AM

try an intervention. get 2-5 of the closest people in her life together including yourself, sit her down, and read her pre-written speaches about why she needs to take getting clean seriously. tell her how much she hurt you guys, and how bad she's gotten. but make sure NOT to raise your voice at all and be very calm and cool. even if she freaks out and leaves right away, leave the letters on her bed.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
3ofHearts Offline
of Wonderland.
Not a n00b
**
 
3ofHearts's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: That big nothern country.

Posts: 87
Join Date: September 28th 2009

Re: I don't know what to do anymore...(About a mother) - October 16th 2009, 01:03 AM

Thanks for the advice Ravie, but we've already done so three times over the past eight years.


“There is no truth. There is only perception.” - Gustave Flaubert

“Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.”

“I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then”
-Lewis Carol

"Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man."-Zhuangzi



   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
anymoreabout, help or advice or ideas, mother

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.