My boyfriend wants to get drunk

[fullofsecrets]

My boyfriend turned 21 and he told me he wants to get drunk "for the experience." All of his friends get drunk every week until they throw up and pass out, and they finally convinced my boyfriend to try it. Me and my boyfriend don't drink, and I always respected and liked this about him. But now he's insisting to me that he wants to get drunk and hungover just to "see what it's like." I asked him if he was adamant about doing this if I could go with him to take care of him and he insisted he didn't want me there because I would just talk him out of doing it.

My Dad was an alcoholic and I know how bad alcoholism can be and I've already had one friend die due to alcohol poisoning. I'm really worried about him but he won't listen to me. Please, is there anything that I can say that will change his mind about doing this? I'm really worried about him and I'm worried that this will not only hurt our relationship, but can have horrible physical consequences for him. I've told him that people can die from alcohol poisoning but he just laughed at me and said that it won't happen to him.

[taylalatbh.]

You can't really tell him not to do something. I know it's difficult for you to allow him to do something that you disagree with, but ultimately, he's going to do what he wants to do in the end. He says he wants to do it, just to try, so let him do it. Chances are he'll do it, hate it and not want to do it again. But you can't try to stop him doing something.

I know it's going to be difficult, and you have past issues with a family member who was an alcoholic and everything, but having one drink won't make that happen. And you can drink alcohol occasionally without becoming addicted so don't worry too much. Just allow him some space and some freedom and just be there for him for when he has a hangover. It's not that bad.

Take care.

[Heartlines.]

Hey there,

Just encourage him to not drink. Tell him about your past experiences with alcoholism and your dad. But ultimately, it is up to him.

If he does want to get drunk once, I don't see the problem, unless he starts to do it all the time. I know you care about him and love him, but if it bugs you that much then maybe you shouldn't be with him? I honestly think that one time is ok.

He just wants the experience. He is curious as all young adults are. Like Tayla Jay said, allow him some space and freedom. He will be alright.

[Alrex]

21 and never been drunk?

Props to him, wow! But I guess it is different in united states because the drinking age here is 19.

First time I got drunk was when I was like 6 and my Japanese grandma forced me to drink tons of sake

[ShimmeringFaerie]

I had a similar issue with my boyfriend once. He hadn't decided to get drunk, but he mentioned to me that he wanted to get drunk one time to "experience" it and because he thought it would be interesting to see how long he could hold onto his control. And I basically told him that I would think he was a complete idiot if he did that.

Getting drunk is just not a smart idea. There is really no good reason to get drunk as far as I can see. Getting drunk for the "experience" or because your friends have peer-pressured you into doing so are particularly bad reasons. For one, it's quite possible that he won't remember the experience anyway and who wants to experience throwing up and saying/doing remarkably stupid things? For two, doing things just because everyone else is doing them is just... well, pathetic.

If he wanted to drink, and you didn't want him to at all, then that might be unreasonable. But I think not wanting him to get drunk is fair. And the fact that he doesn't want you there is a bit suspicious, to be honest.

However, it seems that he has well and truly made up his mind and nothing you say is going to change that. In fact, if you keep pushing the issue, it might make him more determined to do so. You could try talking to him calmly about why you don't want him to do it, but ultimately the decision is his. When I explained to my boyfriend why I felt that him getting drunk would be really stupid, he listened to me and realised that I had good points. Perhaps if you explain why you are so against it to your boyfriend, he will also be willing to listen to you?

[Elle_Dorado]

I understand your concern and I know how hard it must be to try to convince him otherwise but I think if he does it just once than maybe he won't be so adamant on doing it after that. Hope all works out!

[Ghost On The Highway]

Getting really drunk (but staying safe) is something everyone should experience once in their life, if for no other reason than to convince them never to do it again . I think he'll be fine, just make sure he doesn't make a habit of it. Honestly, if I had known in advance what alcohol was going to do to my body, my mood, and my brain before I started drinking, I would have made some very different life choices.

When I was 18-19, I got drunk multiple times per week and drank to the point of sickness 20+ times. It was SO NOT WORTH IT! Now, the only reason I still drink is because I genuinely enjoy the taste of beer and wine. The other night, I got really drunk for the first time in six months. Just for fun, I tried doing some of the normal things I do when sober -- at 2AM on ten shots of vodka. I was amazed -- I could recognize all of the problems alcohol has caused my in everyday life in the person I became while drunk. I was just too wasted to care.

Moral of the rambling rant: heavy drinking really does fuck with you with long- term abuse, and you don't have to be the stereotypical alcoholic to suffer the consequences. I'm a huge advocate of experiencing everything life has to offer, and I love taking risks. Unless your boyfriend really goes crazy on the liquor, one night won't hurt him. Just don't let it go beyond that.

[MichWolverineFreak]

I know what its like, its actually not that bad. I was by myself though, and even though I was pretty drunk, Im still actually really smart (well, to a point) and I know how to act perfectly sober like nothings going on. The thing for me was, it was all fake, even though it was crazy, I tried to act crazier because I wasnt changed too much. Im always perfectly fine, but I exaggerate the feeling.
Yeah, dont exagerate.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

Let him get drunk because you cant change his mind and once he gets a hangover, pukes and whatnot, he probably won't want to drink again. That is what you report that he said anyways. Just let him.

[.TJ.]

Let him? He knows you don't like it, but he wants to do it. Drinking *is* a part of life, and is a part of a social atmosphere. It *is* hard to die from alcohol poisioning, and will not happen the first time. (unless someone starts and IV on and pushes whiskey into your veins... hmmm *grabs catheters* jkjk!) But really. He's 21. He's waited this long, and now can do it *legally*. He was mature enough to wait, and I think he is mature enough to know when he needs to stop.