I need help.

[Qwazi]

Hey all.

I would classify my addiction to weed as similar if not exactly the same as my previous addiction, World of Warcraft. In fact, I replaced WoW with weed essentially.

Weed though, is far, far worse.

I was addicted to WoW because of the social aspect. By design, you make friends online and group and play the game together. Later on, you play even when you don't want to, just to be with those online friends. This is at the detriment of real life and real relationships. Weed also has similar detrimental effects.

My best real life friend played WoW as well, and then he started smoking weed about two years ago. And I mean regularly. And as I live in the same house as him, I do it as regularly as he does. I will admit, it's because I fear that if I don't, I will lose him as a friend.

Right now though, I am sick of it all. I am trying to set up my own business and I need a clear head. I am just afraid that it will cost me the friendship I hold so dear. There was a falling out between my ex and my best friend, where I did truly love my ex, but I took my best friend's side as he started spouting "bros-before-hos" bullshit at me.

I feel sad. I don't care about much anymore as I try to block it all out. I'll get tired of flirting with a girl because it seems so pointless in comparison, and I'll text "Wanna fuck?" just because I don't care. I feel really emotionless and empty, which is unlike me, and whilst I am a good actor when it counts - part of the reason I can run a business at 22 - I feel so alone in my struggle.

Weed only blocks it all out temporarily, and even that has faded now. I feel no effect, and the depression it holds back comes back with a vengeance afterwards.

There was a girl I was texting, I was so looking forward to the date because it would be a chance to get away from it all, to be myself, and just be happy. She ended up flaking on me, costing me the travel arrangements.

I can't tell my parents. I can't tell any of my other friends. I am a social, outgoing person who can captivate entire rooms of people with my public speaking, but I feel so fucking alone and shit right now.

It's funny. Most people would kill to be where I am now in terms of social skills and popularity. I was the complete opposite 6 years ago. Im just sick of acting now, sick of my best friend and all his bullshit, sick of weed, sick of fighting depression on my own, sick of it all.

I wanna change it, I just need some help :/

[--.redpanda.--]

I know that I am facing an addiction to an online world too. I know that it is hard and depression doesn't help really. It makes you want to get away from your own life. It suppresses the feelings, but never truly makes them vanish. Maybe counseling would help, considering that you are a social person and it would help to talk from what it sounds like. Clearing your mind would mean clearing WoW from your harddrive and making it so that you can't get it back. I know that it is tough, but it seems like, to me, that you have a lot of drive and you can become great if you apply yourself.

Breaking a habit might take some time, but don't feel like you are alone in this. A lot of people have addictions to weed, gaming, and face the depression. I've never had weed, but I'm facing the gaming addiction and then depression. Sometimes finding someone you can relate to can help/ Help yourself before you help anyone else. That is the best thing you can do right now.

[Qwazi]

Tonight ain't so bad because my best mate has no money. When he gets some, and gets some bud, that's where the pressure and difficulty will begin.

[--.redpanda.--]

I'm glad that tonight isn't going to be so bad, but remember this, the most important thing right now is taking care of yourself. You need to care for yourself before caring for someone else. I wish you the best.

[Beth.]

Hey Adam, I'm sad to see this post because I've known you for a while and I don't know, never really seen you even post something along these lines. I think the most important thing right now is really commit yourself to be yourself if that makes sense. If weed isn't what you wanna be doing, don't do it. You have to stick up for yourself, and if your friend has a problem with you not wanting to smoke then he's not that good of a friend afterall. Try and see what you can fix, and make changes according to that. As for girls, I think you'll care more as soon as you stop smoking weed. Like you won't go for the "wanna fuck?" texting. I hope you feel better soon, and feel free to message me or anything.

[Gidig]

I can eerily relate to some of things you said. And honestly, if you find the answer to a lot of this, be sure to let me know.

But my best advice, is do what's best for you. It's great to be around people who are excited you're there, always have someone to hang out with, and all that. But at what costs is that worth to you? Especially I feel like with weed being around, friendships can become or start out superficial and not ever change.

Do what's best for you, and what will make you happiest in life. Learn to say no to a bowl, you can do it. And honestly you don't have to quit smoking entirely if that's too hard, or you don't want to. I feel like smoking is like drinking, it's okay occasionally, but not while you're trying to do something productive. And you can't let drugs ever get in your way or you'll regret it in life.

I wish you the best. <3 Let me know if you ever need anything.
Maria.

[Qwazi]

Hey Maria,

Yeah you post did kinda connect with me. I had a beer today with my college mates and I was a lot happier - only thing I regretted was the fact I couldn't stay for more cause I had to drive.

Thanks for your help.