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charmbraceletxo Offline
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Alcoholic Slip-Up :( - March 30th 2012, 10:04 PM

After being in blatant denial for approximately one year, it's been determined that I'm an alcoholic--as was/is my father, as was my great grandfather, and perhaps is my cousin. A couple of weeks ago, I was in acute detox (in a residential facility--I've been hospitalized for alcohol-related injuries/complications three times now)...and I've done an excellent job of staying away from it this past week...however, last night, I had a last minute hang-out session with a couple of friends--one of whom happened to "surprise" me with a can of the original blend "Four Loko." I was incredibly hesitant at first, but decided to have a couple glasses'-worth. I didn't get drunk at all--I'm currently on Naltrexone, so while I did feel a slight buzz, I didn't experience that same sense of euphoria that I ordinarily do. In any case, I feel terribly ashamed for "slipping up"--my entire family and ex-boyfriend (who I mistreated something awful--even to the extent of cheating on him--due to my alcohol abuse (mind you, I've been called Jekyll and Hyde because whenever I drink, I allegedly have an alter-ego--one that's horribly abusive, borderline-promiscuous, belligerent/aggressive, and selfish)) are so hopeful and counting on me to be well...and I feel as though I've let everyone down. I'm contemplating disclosing the slip-up to my ex-boyfriend, but I'm worried that, being that this is my "last chance", he'll cut me out of his life indefinitely. My psychiatrist has also prescribed me Antabuse--which I've yet to pick up at the pharmacy. I honestly don't know what to do--I feel so ashamed...my ex-boyfriend was just over yesterday and was in utter amazement with regards to how well I've been doing and how I've been taking better care of myself, etc., etc.--and I feel as though I've completely let him (and everyone else) down.

If you were in my position, what would you guys do? Does anyone have any advice to lend?


Thank you kindly.
   
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Re: Alcoholic Slip-Up :( - March 31st 2012, 05:35 AM

Realize that you messed up, learn from your mistake, and do better tomorrow. Hold your head up and celebrate the time you made it, and vow to go longer this time. Decide that this isn't the end of your recovery and doesnt mean you have to start over. Don't dwell... You're still awesome.

Let me know if there's anything i can do! Take care.


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We grow and gain sapience and we learn what's important.

We were meant to live for so much more; have we lost ourselves somewhere we live inside?

   
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Re: Alcoholic Slip-Up :( - April 1st 2012, 06:30 AM

A very tough question and one where only you can make that call as there is no right/wrong answer here. Both telling him and not telling him has a potential downside and upside. If you tell him, yes it is possible he might break off contact with you but on the upside he might be more supportive of you since you are now committed to stop drinking, especially if you tell him you did not enjoy the drink you had. If you don't tell him however, you might back yourself into a corner later on if he finds out and you were the one who didn't tell him but on the upside he might not find out and you stand committed to never drinking again.

It is down to you ultimately but the only advice i can offer is what i would do if i was in your position. Personally i wouldn't tell him - i would stand committed to never drinking again and keep going on with that. As long as you keep going with that and you don't drink again i think the lie might do more good then harm in this case. However if you did start drinking again - i would tell him straight up there and then otherwise it will simply turn into more and more lies and that would likely upset him more.

You shouldn't feel ashamed if you do decide to keep it from him since you know that what you did was wrong and as long as you don't drink again there is no reason to feel shame.

Don't feel that this means you are back to square one - because you are not. Keep going with your treatment and good luck
   
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