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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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No social life outside of school - July 19th 2012, 04:26 AM

I have no social life outside of school, as the title probably hinted at, I barely hang out with people at school besides a group of friends at lunch, and that seems to come and go.

I'm currently spending summer on the laptop, just like after school, I like having my time alone, but I would like to talk with someone, and I'd rather not lose my barely existent social skills.

I'm kind of putting off the problem for later though (later being next week), I only have one friend that I know through a phone number (his home number though), and I don't really know what I'd ask, my lunch friends joke about the fact that I don't socialize, so I feel like it's be awkward to ask, I don't think hanging out at his house is something we can do, and I can't come up with any ideas.

Also, how do I ask people to hang out, or get a cell number, I think it would be weird to ask, for some reason.

I hope you can give me some help with this
   
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Re: No social life outside of school - July 19th 2012, 04:41 AM

It's not weird to ask for your friends number at lunch but make sure you are good friends with them (:
   
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Re: No social life outside of school - July 19th 2012, 06:56 AM

Ask them to the movies, and really there is no problem with asking for their phone number, just explain that you want it so you can hang out on weekends or over the holidays and whatever. Invite them to theme parks or out to the shops just to hang out.
   
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Re: No social life outside of school - July 19th 2012, 09:41 AM

Hi!

I had the exact same problem too. My group wasn't very social. We'd have things we wanted to do, but never actually got around to doing it. And I've often found myself, in the holidays, socialising with friends outside from school, or just friends who aren't even in my group. That is to say, don't limit your options!

If you're close with your lunch friends/ or other friend, then don't feel embarrassed to bring the topic up. It actually is a really good conversation starter- and I'm speaking from experience here. I often say to my friends "Geez, but no seriously. I HAVE no social life! You have to help me!" in a joking, complaining (but not annoying) tone. Then my friends bring up suggestions and it's often like "OMG, but wouldn't it be cool to do this, that, etc." It often leads to planning things for the holidays, weekends, etc.

Asking people for their cell number: I just say "You've got my number right?", and usually they reply, "Oh do you have mine?"- you would probably say this after you've planned something together. Also to actually avoid asking them, you could ask someone who has their number already. Then when the time comes, send a text along the lines of: "Hey, how are you going? Was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime??"
It's just what I've done and has worked.

Things to do are commonly:
movie/ movie marathons, hanging out at park/ city/ friend's house, local town events, sports, laser tag- the MOST awesome thing ever!
But just find a common interest or fun activity that most of you will agree on.

Anyway, GOODLUCK! Hope this helps! And I am sooo sorry for SUCH A LONG reply!
   
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Re: No social life outside of school - July 19th 2012, 03:22 PM

Thanks for all the advice, I'll try it out!
   
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Re: No social life outside of school - July 19th 2012, 03:26 PM

If you have a Facebook and people whom you would want to do things with on it, I'd just post "Anyone want to do something today?" As your status. It's usually less awkward for you.

- Justin



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Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
Technologic
   
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Re: No social life outside of school - July 25th 2012, 02:20 AM

Okay, new info.

Apparently my mom think I should wait to socialize when school starts, because my friends probably have jobs, so they wouldn't be around alot.

She thinks I'd be able to socialize with my co-workers if I got a job.

Does that seem like a good idea at all?
   
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Re: No social life outside of school - July 25th 2012, 04:35 AM

You shouldn't just wait for certain events to happen to socialize, you should just do it automatically. Start doing it whenever your outside, at the mall, movies, etc and you should find things becoming easier.

But to answer your question, yes, you will be able to possibly create many friendships from working at a job and I think it is a good idea for you to go that route.


Chris Jackson
“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”
   
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Re: No social life outside of school - July 25th 2012, 04:53 AM

In my opinion, I would ask my friends to hang out now instead of waiting till school started like your mom suggested. If you think about it, most people keep their jobs and don't just quit when summer is over (at least the people I know don't quit their job just because school starts)... so now they'll be even busier with school and work after school. So at least if you hang out with them now, you can hang out with them on a day that they don't have work, or after they get off of work.

My friends and I have done themed sleep overs with movie marathons. Like one time we had a cheese tasting and romantic comedy movie sleepover. But, you're male... so I don't know if that's too girly for you or not.

If you have any same interests/hobbies with your friends maybe you can do them together? For example if you all like baseball, maybe you can all get together and play a game of baseball. Or if you all like the same band, maybe you can go to an upcoming concert together?

Some things my friends and I have talked about doing/have done:
A concert, movies, amusement park, bowling, hiking, took a walk to a coffee shop & had coffee, volunteering, etc.

I'm sure it won't be too awkward to ask for each other's phone numbers. Bring up that you're interested in doing something and just say something like "text/call me later and we can decide" or "text/call me when you get there" and then give them your phone number and ask for theirs in return.
   
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Re: No social life outside of school - July 25th 2012, 06:50 AM

During school terms, people are usually busy- assignments, assessments, etc. I think holidays are the best time for socialising. But if they do have jobs, you'll never know unless you ask.

I think the idea of getting a job would be good. I mean it would keep you busy, but also open up your friendship connections to new people, who in the future, could be your friends.


I know it's time to move on and let go... but I can't. I'm just... Stuck.in.time

   
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