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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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sana16223 Offline
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Question my friends are changing - August 3rd 2012, 05:03 PM

our school is a non coed school , my group of friends are changing , they like to only talk about boyfriend and stuff , but im not tht intrested in tht , they like to hide things frm their parents , they lie and sometimes they even use me , like 1 day my friends mom called up and asked tht if my friends was in my house , i had to say yes as she texted me to lie while she was with her boyfriend in a mall , so what should i do now , do u think my friends are using me ??, i dont know what to do help?
   
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Re: my friends are changing - August 3rd 2012, 05:49 PM

If you feel like they're using you, just tell them that you are not ok with lying for them so that they can get away with stuff they're not allowed to do and that you'd appreciate it if they didn't have you lie for them like that any more. You can be a good friend still (ex. you don't rat them out, you're just not going to be their cover up any more, cause there is a huge difference between keeping a secret and lying). If you are not comfortable with having to lie for them, stand up for yourself, otherwise, you are allowing them to use you. And yes, to answer your question, if you are having to do things you don't want to do for them on some level I would consider that being used.




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Re: my friends are changing - August 5th 2012, 06:41 AM

It's just like Bumble Bee said, if you're doing things- for them- that you don't want to do, then they're kind of using you or taking the friendship with you for granted. Because although being a friend is about loyalty amongst other things, you shouldn't have to 'force' the other to do something they're not comfortable with or don't want to do. Because then it's not a really good/close friendship. If you feel like you're being used (or at least uncomfortable with having to lie for them), tell them that that is not who you are as a person. A good friendship relies on effective communication. So speak out for yourself because if you don't, it can get to such an extent that they may ask you to lie about serious things (but I'm NOT saying that they would do that- it is just a hypothetical, extreme in the matter).

Hope this helped! And I hope your situation with your friends goes well. SMILE!


I know it's time to move on and let go... but I can't. I'm just... Stuck.in.time

   
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