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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Living with your parents other half. - September 19th 2012, 05:42 PM

Hi

So, my mums boyfriend moved in with us about three or so weeks ago. I keep telling myself it will get easier but I'm really struggling with it. I still can't cope with the concept that my parents are not longer together and it's really hard for me to live with him. When I'm around him at home, I get a phsyical horrible feeling in my stomach.

I never spent a lot of time downstairs but I would sit with my mum downstairs for a little a few nights a week. I struggle to go out a lot because of my anxiety and I'm finding myself spending all the time I'm at home, isolated in my bedroom because it's to hard for me to see him living with us.

And I feel really pathetic. I should be over it by now and I'm eighteen. I mean, if I was ten I could understand. But I can't get over it at all.

Any advice would be more than appreciated.

Thankyou.


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Re: Living with your parents other half. - September 19th 2012, 06:18 PM

I think that no matter how old you are, seeing your parents with new people is a hard thing to deal with. It's going to take time to get used it, but one day you will. Try sitting with them downstairs for maybe half an hour or so a few nights during the week and slowly try and build it up as this may help you to get to know your mum's boyfriend a bit more and feel more at ease when you're around him.
   
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Re: Living with your parents other half. - September 19th 2012, 07:29 PM

It really is hard at any age and in most situations. I mean, my biological parents got divorced when I was four years old. So I don't really have many memories of use being all together. However, I never really got over the fantasy of it happening. My mom got remarried when I was fourteen or fifteen and I refused to live with them because of similar reasons to yours. I just didn't feel comfortable with the idea. But now, I'm almost nineteen and I'm living with my mom and her husband and I have been for almost a year now. It's still uncomfortable but after getting to know my step-dad, I know he makes my mom happy and it makes her happy for us all to get along. So I try.

I guess my best advice would be to do what I do and gradually get to know him and accept the fact that your mum is happy (as I'm assuming she is). It takes time and effort and I know that you'll get through this.

I hope that made sense x
   
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