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NevermindMe Offline
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Unhappy I give up. My family is totally screwed. - September 27th 2012, 05:59 PM

I fucking give up.

Tomorrow is my birthday... yay.

It's a really long story, to make it short... my grandparents are in town. They've been meaning to visit for a while, and decided now would be a good time to come over. Great. That's wonderful. I've tried to finish as many school/homework assignments as I could early, and this morning I had a minor one to work on. No problem, I could finish in ten minutes!

For some reason my school's website doesn't work with my home PC, so I usually borrow my mom laptop instead of wrestling with my phone's wifi, my ipad and my computer at the same time to view what I need to. She told me that she needed the laptop this morning to write an email. I finished what I needed to check as quickly as possible, finishing within three minutes, apologizing for the wait and moving on. I could see the wait irritated her, but I proceeded with as much courtesy as possible. I went back to my bedroom and begun working on what I needed to finish.

As it turns out, I couldn't figure out what actually needed to be done, and used my iPad and phone's internet to double-check the criteria. However due to an error on my school's website. I decided to ask my mother for help. I stood around waiting patiently for her assistance, in case she might know which I needed to do. It would take ten seconds, and she would either know, or else move on with her life. She said she was busy proof-reading an email, and couldn't help me. I stood waiting, for about ten minutes until I decided if I helped her, we could move on. I helped point out a few errors, and for some reason she saw this as me belittling her intelligence. This was not my intention.

Understandably (or maybe not.) this set her off. She screamed at me to "stop being a disrespectful faggot" and to "get the fuck out of my [her] sight!" all of this directly in front of my grandparents. I apologized and said I was only trying to help. She then accused me of making her "look bad!" and sent me to my room.

I needed a simple favor, I asked politely, and waited. When I noticed she needed help, I tried to assist her without being asked. The kind of simple act of kindness that I supposed could help improve the tough time she's been having later. Instead I get humiliated and belittled. :/

My grandparents are currently acting as though it never happened, but I can't help but feel they are either disappointed with me, my mother or, most likely both.

- Justin

"Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"

Last edited by NevermindMe; September 27th 2012 at 06:05 PM.
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Re: I give up. My family is totally screwed. - September 29th 2012, 02:59 AM

First things first...

I hope it's been a good day, despite what happened yesterday. It seems like you did everything right. There wasn't a single point in your story where I thought, "Well, he should have done that differently." I'm sorry your mom has/had a distorted view of you and what you do/did. It's been an ongoing thing - I've seen your previous threads. In all honesty, I'm not sure there's an easy solution to any of this. Any number of things could be causing your mom to act this way, and unfortunately, you can't remove all the factors/stressors in her life. All you can really do is try to make things easier for her and show her some affection... which you seemed to do... but that didn't really work out. When you have those conflicts, remember that your mom is wrong when she says all those hurtful things, you ARE a wonderful person (and son), and most importantly, all of this is temporary. I had to "bite the bullet" until I turned 18 and was able to move out of my mom's house. I can empathize. Hang in there, keep turning to the people who show compassion, and know that it's eventually going to work out in your favor. Maybe you'll even have a good relationship with your mom someday, who knows? For now, though, realize that you're doing the best you can, and that's all anyone can ask you to do.

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