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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Talking to people is just... Eh. - October 24th 2012, 02:44 AM

First things first: I'm not depressed.

Okay. My main problem is two parts of what I believe to stem from the same problem: I'm odd. Odd, how?

Over the years, I've developed a very... Odd way of speaking, thinking, and communicating. Generally I socialize very well, but when I get anxious, instead of shutting up, I use big words and start spouting off facts about any class that I happen to be in at that moment.

And, from the time I was little, I've always liked to be alone. I liked my space. When my cousin came over to visit me for more than a few hours, before I even got to school, I'd run and hide under the kitchen table by myself after a while.

Problem number one: School is killing me. I like to think and daydream; people get in the way of that. Talking with everyone but my very, very best of friends -- exactly one person -- is a strain. I'm just generally disinterested in anything anyone has to say.

Problem number two: It's getting in the way of things. I've only ever had one relationship, even though there's been about... Four guys I've known of in the last year who've liked me. One, I tried dating; I dumped him in three days because I felt smothered. The second, I turned down because I dreaded feeling trapped. The third and fourth, I haven't even bothered with.

That isn't to say I don't want a boyfriend. Oh, no. That's just saying I don't like the lovey-dovey-ness of relationships. I want to be able to be around someone without feeling like they're a burden. It's hard to find a friend like that, much less a significant other.

Is there something wrong with me?


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1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.



   
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Re: Talking to people is just... Eh. - October 26th 2012, 06:45 AM

Part of how you're feeling is probably due to your personality, and part of how you're feeling is probably due to your anxiety/other mental health issues. It's tricky to discern which is which, because after a while, they seem to go hand in hand. You don't like what's going on, but you're not exactly sure how to address the problem (and a part of you may feel like there isn't a problem, because no one wants to think there's something "wrong" with their personality).

I can relate on some levels. I'm wondering if your avoidance/disinterest of other people has changed over time? For example, you may have started off feeling anxious around other people. Over time, you replaced that anxiety with "disinterest," which (subconsciously) seemed much more preferable than being anxious. It allowed you to have some control over your situation, and by avoiding them, you don't have to challenge your new way of thinking.

I feel talking to a psychological professional about all of this could be helpful. Having a outsider's perspective can help unravel things and allow you to more thoroughly explore the origins of these feelings/behaviors. With time, that will allow you to make some changes that are more to your liking. =)






   
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Re: Talking to people is just... Eh. - October 26th 2012, 11:02 PM

My mom and I talked over some of this, and decided we needed to arrange with my doctor for me to see a psychologist. We're working on finding one right now.

And, I've been homeschooled for most of my life, until I got to high school, when I abruptly returned to public school. It was a bit unsettling, and I didn't know how to deal with people. I've been thinking, and maybe the most of it stems from the fact that when I first got to school, people seemed to like me best when I was intelligent.

The daydreaming is something I learned to do when I was homeschooled. I didn't have any friends, so I invented them in my head. Now it just seems hard to get outside of my mind.

And the part where people feel like burdens to me... I think a lot of it comes from the fact that most people aren't honest with me. They don't tell me exactly what they think, and I've known of them to go running off to talk about me behind my back.

Perhaps all this is just some sort of weird defense mechanism.


Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.



   
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