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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
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Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screwing Everything Up - July 29th 2013, 11:24 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hey guys,

Guess you could say I have been frequenting the site a bit but will be back a little bit more from now on.

I have two problems that I just wish I could vent out and ask for some help.

ONE: Alright, when I moved back to my dads, I thought it would be amazing. It has been for some of the time. I have mt my Dad, my step mum, my brother and sister, my grandma, my uncles, my cousins, people I never even knew about really. And now. It has been 13 weeks next monday I think. My step mother and I don't get along, I got off on the wrong foot with her then a few weeks ago my phone was taken off me and she went through my messages. She found out that I have been smoking, cutting, purging, suicidal thoughts and so many more things that I would have preferred stayed quiet (she had every right to go through my phone...) but I also wrote some things about her and my sister which I thoroughly regret and not just because I was found out about.
I am a messed up girl, my mum whom I lived with from infantry to 13 weeks ago was mentally abusive, physically abusive and emotionally abusive and now apparently I play mind games and remind Dad a lot of my mother. To be honest, I don't know what to do anymore. I thought after my step mums and my first few fights I could change and grow and become somebody that I have never really been: happy...

But, things are steadily declining right now and threats are arising that I should go back to my mothers.
Truth be told, I do miss my mum, and I do love her, she is my mum despite everything she has done to me. I have anger towards her for certain things and for fucking up my life and yeah, really, what can I do? We have sat down so many times and talked and then we take a few steps forward then ten steps backwards somehow...

TWO: I have been grounded for two and a half weeks and I cannot email. But I do go onto email just to check whom is messaging me. My best friend wrote me an email suggesting she was going to attempt suicide. I have helped her so many times in the past and I know she hasn't been feeling mentally stable lately. I cannot email her and have no way of contacting her, and I am really worried. I know my friends life comes first over getting into trouble but I am already getting into trouble for not being respectable.... I don't know how long I can stay like this, stressed for her life and my own.



OH BTW.... mum now lives in a refuge and if I have to move back to hers I would be forced to live in a refuge.. with my baby sister as well.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screwing Everything Up - July 31st 2013, 02:28 AM

Hey Jay, First off I have had my share of issues involving cutting, suicidal thoughts, an abusive parent, and a non stable BFF so I can definitely relate. For 1: No matter how much your dad and stepmom threaten you I'm almost positive (99.999%) they love you and wont send you back to an unsafe environment. Also you should be honest with your parents about your problems with cutting, and suicidal thoughts.
I never told my parents about my depression, and cutting they found out on their own when they saw my scars. I ended up being thrown into a mental hospital for a month. Tough love right? That was a year ago and I now realize it was for my own good. As for #2: My best friend had severe anorexia and even though she had been taken to the hospital about 20 times for too low blood sugar and her liver was starting to die... she still refused to eat. She made me promise not to tell anyone when she was planning to do a huge fast. I would try to convince her not to but it was no use. I didn't tell for a while but I knew she would die if I didn't do anything. I told her parents to take her to the psyc hospital I went to. My point is there is nothing you can really say to get them to stop. They need professional help.
If you explained to your step mom the situation, she would probably let you talk to either her or her parents. Good luck with everything and I hope this helped somewhat. If you need someone to talk to I would be more than happy to listen. -Sarah
   
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Validity Offline
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Name: Jay
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Re: Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screwing Everything Up - August 1st 2013, 11:06 PM

Hello,

They have given up, and same as me. I gave up a while ago. I think its only a matter of weeks before I'm going back..

My best friend survived thank God, but I still haven't been able to talk to her.

Thanks for replying, however,

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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