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Alexandria1996 Offline
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Unhappy Almost Unbearable - August 19th 2013, 02:41 AM

If nothing else this should help me get everything off my chest. I love my mom. I really do, but lately things have just been bad. My mom is a heavy drinker and it makes me sick to see her putting that bottle over everyone who loves her. It makes her into a completely different person. I recently had a boyfriend who could have been the one. He was my best friend and my main source of friendship and love. He was everything. My mom quickly decided that even though I was 16 I wasn't old enough to go on dates alone with him. She never liked me going out and would go to any extreme (crying, putting me down, guilt) to make sure I never wanted to go out. If I did anything she wanted to know everything: where we were going, when we would get there, what we were doing, make and model of the car we were in as well as proof of insurance) she took it to an extreme and my dad humorred it. After he graduated my boyfriend invited me out to dinner and my mom said I had set her up and abadonned her there. She made me feel so bad about going out that I lost all respect for myself. She then installed a gps tracker on my phone. She reads all my messages and her controlling caused a rift in my relationship. I didn't feel like eating or talking to anyone and me and my boyfriend broke up. I was so numb it didn't even affect me. We've had a thousand "heart to hearts" over the years but always late at night when she's so far gone she doesn't remember anything the next morning. I'm out of options. I have a new love interest and new friends but her needing to control every aspect of my life and watch me has made it impossible to have a decent relationship outside of her. She even follows me and takes pictures of everything I do to question me about it later. Please help! I can't continue living like this. I am 17 years old and I have no true friends because it's just not possible. I don't drink, smoke, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've left the house in the past 4 years. I can't live like this.

Last edited by Alexandria1996; August 19th 2013 at 02:57 AM.
   
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Re: Almost Unbearable - August 20th 2013, 07:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexandria1996 View Post
If nothing else this should help me get everything off my chest. I love my mom. I really do, but lately things have just been bad. My mom is a heavy drinker and it makes me sick to see her putting that bottle over everyone who loves her. It makes her into a completely different person. I recently had a boyfriend who could have been the one. He was my best friend and my main source of friendship and love. He was everything. My mom quickly decided that even though I was 16 I wasn't old enough to go on dates alone with him. She never liked me going out and would go to any extreme (crying, putting me down, guilt) to make sure I never wanted to go out. If I did anything she wanted to know everything: where we were going, when we would get there, what we were doing, make and model of the car we were in as well as proof of insurance) she took it to an extreme and my dad humorred it. After he graduated my boyfriend invited me out to dinner and my mom said I had set her up and abadonned her there. She made me feel so bad about going out that I lost all respect for myself. She then installed a gps tracker on my phone. She reads all my messages and her controlling caused a rift in my relationship. I didn't feel like eating or talking to anyone and me and my boyfriend broke up. I was so numb it didn't even affect me. We've had a thousand "heart to hearts" over the years but always late at night when she's so far gone she doesn't remember anything the next morning. I'm out of options. I have a new love interest and new friends but her needing to control every aspect of my life and watch me has made it impossible to have a decent relationship outside of her. She even follows me and takes pictures of everything I do to question me about it later. Please help! I can't continue living like this. I am 17 years old and I have no true friends because it's just not possible. I don't drink, smoke, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've left the house in the past 4 years. I can't live like this.
I'm sorry to hear that your mom is treating you this way, and I agree it's not right. However, this is a serious problem, especially since your mom is a heavy drinker. While your mom does have the right to know everything that's going on with your life, that doesn't mean she can follow you everywhere you go, or invade your personal privacy. That's not right at all. And taking pictures of you of what you're doing? That's definitely NOT right at all either. I'm also sorry to hear that you broke up with your boyfriend, and you're not happy with the way that you're living your life right now. Although, if I were you, I would really try to find someone to talk to regarding your mom, like a counselor or someone who has authority to take action. Your mom is taking things way too far. It's as if she's become obssessed with you and become your own personal stalker (don't take that the wrong way as that's just my observation from what you described). If you really love your mom, you need to get her help, but then again, if she doesn't want to be helped, then it's not your duty to change her. It sounds cold I know, but you can't help or change someone if they don't want help or be changed. Do get help from someone though. If there's anything that you still need advice on or just someone to talk to, please, don't hesitate to VM or PM me. I'm here to help and be a friend.




“The main thing is realizing that even if you feel terrible for a while, that’s not how you’re going to feel the whole time. . . . Things change if you just keep moving.” - Gary Vaynerchuk
   
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