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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Justlonely Offline
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Situation with my bestfriend - August 22nd 2013, 03:01 AM

So i already wrote a little about this and got some advice but its just not working. My bestfriend is everything to me, but since i told him i like him its just been agruements alot of the time. Hes been dating another person for awhile now and im glad hes happy. I want to get over him but i cant. Being around him just kills me cause i cant have him. Ive tried to move on and cut off communication but hes my best friend. I dont know how to deal with things without him. We both cant go more then a few days without talking to eachother so that doesnt work. He wants us back to our normal friendship but its so hard when anytime im around him i feel so happy but at the same time i feel like crying. So im not sure what to do anymore...
   
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Re: Situation with my bestfriend - August 22nd 2013, 06:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Justlonely View Post
So i already wrote a little about this and got some advice but its just not working. My bestfriend is everything to me, but since i told him i like him its just been agruements alot of the time. Hes been dating another person for awhile now and im glad hes happy. I want to get over him but i cant. Being around him just kills me cause i cant have him. Ive tried to move on and cut off communication but hes my best friend. I dont know how to deal with things without him. We both cant go more then a few days without talking to eachother so that doesnt work. He wants us back to our normal friendship but its so hard when anytime im around him i feel so happy but at the same time i feel like crying. So im not sure what to do anymore...
Well, there's two options: either continue to work on getting your friendship back to normal like what your best friend wants, or (and this probably isn't the one that you want to do) just let him go for the better. It'd be really hard for you to choose the second option as you're most likely not wanting to do that as this guy is your best friend, and like you mentioned, you can't deal with things without him. But then again, when you really like someone, they only see you as a good friend and you can't get over the fact that you'll probably never have that person, it's best just to let go of that someone and move on. I'm not saying that you should let him go though; that choice is entirely up to you. If it's possible that you can work things out with him and get everything back to normal as friends, then do so.




“The main thing is realizing that even if you feel terrible for a while, that’s not how you’re going to feel the whole time. . . . Things change if you just keep moving.” - Gary Vaynerchuk
   
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Chris Offline
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Re: Situation with my bestfriend - August 23rd 2013, 01:42 AM

Well, unfortunately, this is going to sound very harsh, and it really isn't meant to be; so please take note.

My advice is basically the same as it was last time. Its very hard when you like a person, we doesn't like you back (especially a best friend). The feelings begin to be to much, and you simply aren't happy just being friends. Fights begin to occur, miscommunication begin to happen, hearts begin to break, and overall bad things happen.

While I understand he is your best friend, he is not just that to you. He is someone you like. To you on the other hand, he is just your friend. No romantic feelings involved. Unfortunately, from experience of begin on both sides of this situation, it usually (9 times out of 10) never ends good.

Since your feelings aren't going to go away anytime soon, I recommend you talking to him and telling him things can never go back to normal. We (as humans) can never change something that already happen. You already told him you liked him, and anger/frustration arised. You can never take that away. The only thing you can do, is move on. So tell him you want to move on, and be with each other as best friends (no more than that). Sure, you will have to deal with the feelings, but that's life. It's either dealing with the feelings and still try maintaining a healthy friendship (which I'm sorry to say will be one of the hardest things you've ever done), or do nothing to get the issues resolved/fixed, which will eventually make your friendship fail (without a doubt).


Best wishes,
Chris


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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