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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Justlonely Offline
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Friends and family stressing me out - September 2nd 2013, 07:19 AM

So i have a close group of 6 friends and lately we all have been argueing to the point its broken up into 2 people splitting off from the group (they are dating) and then leaving me and 2 other friends and then the one friend goes between the two new "groups". We have been trying to fix it but the one friend doesnt own up to anything she blames everything on us and lies about what she has said or done. Its so frusterating cause we will all try to fix it and we will all say sorry but she never does. So it just gets us more pissed off and we all start fighting again.

And my bestfriend and i got into a bad fight and he apologized and it was a great apology but then a week later we were argueing and he told me his last apology was complete bull and he made it up. But that he still wanted to fix our friendship for real. I dont trust easily at all but i trusted him with everything so it hurt me alot that he would lie to me,especially lieing a whole apology. And he knows that but all i can think now is that i cant trust him and i think hes going to hurt me again. I want to trust him again but for some reason i cant. So is there anyway to get over trust issues?

Then my parents crap on top of everything is just ugh. I was i guess you would say diagnosed with depression about a year ago and when i was they were really supportive for like 2 weeks. They even lied to my therapist in the first and only session i had. After that it went to crap. They are always on my case and yelling at me and putting me down for everything. Everythings hard for me even just the simple task of getting out of bed. So getting good grades and going to class and paying attention in class is ridiculously hard for me no matter how hard i try. But they will freak at me all the time for the smallest things and it makes me feel like absolute shit and completely worthless. Even if i say im trying my hardest they will tell me im not trying hard enough. Lately its gotten really bad and we fight constantly and they will take away my computer then later i will have to pretend im sorry for whatever i did just so i can have it back cause i honestly dont do anything else cause i just dont have the energy or ill be to depressed to do anything else. Its all just really stressfull and i dont know what to do anymore....
   
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Re: Friends and family stressing me out - September 2nd 2013, 04:42 PM

Hey. Im sorry to hear about all this.
Frankly, people, friends, groups change so much in high school that you have to just go along with it. It's happened to me and I thought I could never recover but clearly I did
Dont stress too much, let things pan out. See where they go.
Dont give anyone so much power over you that they completely control your moods, emotions, etc. Ad trust is something like a gut feeling.
As far as your parents are concerned, maybe they're thinking you're getting too emotionally involved and that's why they're being harsh.
My parents used to be a bit harsh too and I realised they were right eventually. I was too involved with my friends, my social life. Everything needs balance.
Give it a shot. But dont get worked up, things happen exactly like they're supposed to.


Don't judge me because I sin differently from you.
   
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Re: Friends and family stressing me out - September 2nd 2013, 07:10 PM

How were you able to see the first therapist? Did your parents voluntarily bring you? If so, what convinced them that was the right thing to do? You mentioned you had one session, and that your parents lied to your therapist. Unfortunately, even if it was meant to help you, lying about the symptoms you're experiencing won't help you in the long run. It doesn't sound like your parents received much education about what depression does to a person (ex. drains a person physically and emotionally, so that doing well in school becomes more difficult to do), and it doesn't sound like you received much support in coping with the depression (whether it's ongoing therapy, medication, or a combination of both). I think starting with another visit to a psychological professional would be an important first step toward making life more manageable. Trying to solve all of these problems at once is going to be difficult when you feel terrible due to the depression.

As the previous poster said, a lot of crazy stuff can happen between friends in high school (and even in college!). Something that really helped me was joining a couple of clubs. Sure, those clubs had cliques as well... but something we all had in common was a love for _______. If nothing else, we could come together and be friendly toward each other because of our common interests. It helped to have those sources of support when my "lunch time" or "after school" friends got into arguments.






   
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Re: Friends and family stressing me out - September 3rd 2013, 12:01 PM

My doctor diagnosed me during a routine check up and gave me a refferal to the therapist. And if i try to explain to my parents that its because of the depression they just say im making up excuses or using it as an excuse
   
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