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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Adam the Fish Offline
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Angry Mother... - October 15th 2013, 09:13 PM

To what extent this will turn into a rant, I'm unsure, but should anyone have any advice, I'd love to hear it.

My mother annoys me sooooo much.
I don't think it's just normal family conflict - I've asked my friends, and they don't seem to have any such issues as I do.

I get so frustrated, because despite that I feel I am quite mature enough to make some decisions (or at least contribute properly my point of view and having it taken notice of when making them). Instead, all I ever seem to get is called "ungrateful" and awkward. Because apparently it's fair for all the rules to be made without any input from me, or changed to fit my mum's current requirements. I understand that I'm still her responsibility, but I feel that I should be able to make choices. Like whether I should be allowed the internet after 2230. Or when I can and can't do homework. Or even whether it's okay for me to watch YouTube videos published by people with religious views that differ to her own.

I know she wants to make decisions for me, but I feel incredibly frustrated by the lack of autonomy such a set up provides. I just wish she'd listen - I'm pretty normal in my requests, I'm always civil about it, yet I'm still never listened to. I've made these feelings known, and I wasn't listened to.
Any ideas?

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Chris Offline
Outside, huh?
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Re: Mother... - October 15th 2013, 11:36 PM

Hey there, Adam. I can totally relate to your situation. See, you aren't like normal 14 year olds and I think everyone at TeenHelp can say you are way more mature than 14. You can fully develop ideas, and opinions on matters, and not retract them when challenged. You take the incentive to do things that maybe aren't even your job - but you do them anyway. It's not often that you find 14 year olds that are willing to do that.

Unfortunately, the downside is that you still deal with the common authority issues. This is where your parents (ie: mom/mum), or other people don't view your maturity, but instead think strictly about your age. It's so incredibly frustrating, I know.

The only idea I can provide to you is for you to sit down and make an 'offer' or 'proposal' between you and your mother. For example: "Mom/Mum, do you mind if we talk about something? I've been thinking. Do you think we can come up with an equal proposal in regards to some rules? Like I promise to do ____ and _____ every day (or every week) if you allow me alittle more freedom with _____".

If after that conversation she still refuses to budge, unfortunately I don't see any other ideas besides letting nature take it's turn and wait until your age isn't a factor anymore.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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communicate, family, listening, mom, mother, mum, rachael98, unfair

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