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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy Being Left Out - November 7th 2013, 12:16 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So last night I was texting my "friend". I was feeling suicidal and told her about it. She was helpful enough, but today she completely ignored me!! she wouldn't even look in my direction. I felt horrible. And she didn't sit with me during lunch. What did I do to her??

And in gym, another "friend" doesn't pay much attention to me anymore. I feel so left out of everything. I feel invisible and it's too much to handle.

Last edited by Chris; November 7th 2013 at 05:47 AM. Reason: Moved to: Friends & Family forum.
   
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Re: Being Left Out - November 7th 2013, 12:30 AM

Hey there.

I think your friend might be scared or confused. Maybe try to explain to her what's really happening and why you really need her especially at this tough time in your life. If she still doesn't want to be around you, it's time to find new friends that are worth it. I'm in the middle of the treacherous process right now. It is hard but will be rewarding in the end.

Message me whenever. I will always be your friend Good luck!



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Re: Being Left Out - November 7th 2013, 05:44 AM

Hey there! First off, Welcome to TeenHelp!

In regards to your situation, believe it or not what you're going through is very common once you start telling friends 'sensitive' things as you did. I'm in no way blaming you; it's good to have a friend to talk too, but you have to find the right friend(s) (ones in which will treat you the same as she/he did before you told them about the issue). I often see people tell a friend about their attempted suicides/suicidal thoughts, or self harm, or anything similar, and then those friends either response in a good way (ie: providing healthy support), or act in a negative way. Then after the situation, there are three outcomes. Either the friendship continues on without a hitch, the friend begins to push you away (ie: ignore you), or the friend becomes overly concerned to which the conversation you had with them gets shared with others.

So, what is happening to you is she responded in a healthy way and provided support, but then maybe felt that the situation you were in was too much for her to handle. Sometimes our friends don't go through the same experiences as us, and they really don't know how to respond to new things as severe as suicidal thoughts or self harm. As a result, they tend to put distance between the friendship. The best advice I can give to you during this difficult situation is to communicate with her. Text/call her and tell her that you appreciated the support the other day, and you wanted to thank her. Then simply ask her if she is a friend that is ok with you sharing experiences/problems with. If she says yes, then you can continue to go to her for support. However if she says no, then simply let her know you understand, but would still like to maintain a friendship with her (and at that point you should start looking for another person to vent/talk to for support or advice).

As far as the other friend goes, I would simply communicate with him/her and ask them if there is anything wrong and then go from there to try to resolve any issues that may have come up. Remember, communication is key.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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