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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lionheart Offline
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Name: Oliver
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Remain friends? - February 5th 2014, 03:25 PM

So, I have that one friend M. I would consider him one of my best friends but for the last few weeks he has just been really annoying.
We usually hang out at his place and watch movies, which is quiet fine, or we go to concerts together which is a lot of fun and I really don't want to stop doing that, but appart from that, we don't do anything else. If I try to talk with him, he just goes to his computer and starts showing me some videos or games he loves, but I just find them annoying and when I try to hint that I don't want to see them, or tell him, I know the video already or don't want to see it, he does not listen.
I can't talk to him and he does not listen to me, but always wants to show me some stuff he knows I'm not interested in.
Also, even if I tell him, I have exams and am really busy and won't have any time for the next few days, he still keeps asking me, if I have time for him and he won't accept a no. I tell him monday, that I won't be free before the weekend and tuesday he asks me again.
Two weeks ago a friend who lives abroad came back and asked me, if I had some free time and I said yes. He was only here for a few days and even if I was busy I meet said yes 'cause I he probably won't be here before summer again.
M heard that I was meeting up with that friend and got really angry, because I spent time with that other friend, instead of him and he kept whining about how we had been trying to meet up for a month and I never had time for him but have time for everyone else. He didn't even listen when I tryed to explain that that other friend was only here for a couple of days. He did not care. And I had laready said I won't be ahving time so the only one who was really trying to meet up was him. It's always just about what HE wants and when HE has time.
That made me so angry, I did not talk to him for a whole week.
Today I'm meeting up with him again. He will probably show me his newest game and the newest videos he found, no matter what I say and then we will end up watching movies, like always. Somehow I don't want to go there or even talk with him anymore.
I've been contemplating to just end the friendship, but then again he is also a really good friend of my other friends as well and it would be kinda awkward and I don't want to miss going to concerts with him 'cause that's always a lot of fun and a rather ennoy his company from time to time (Emphasis on from time to time, not every single weekend).

Has anyone an idea what I should do? End the friendship or is there a way to make him change his behavior at least a bit?

It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes it is a quiet whisper at the end of a day saying: Tomorrow I will try it again!

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Azure. Offline
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Re: Remain friends? - February 7th 2014, 02:54 AM

Hi there,

I think the best thing you can do is try to talk to him again. It might be a good idea to sit with him somewhere away from the games and other distractions. This way, it would be easier to have a serious conversation where both sides contribute and listen. I would just try to tell him again how you feel about his behavior or the things you guys do together.

You may also want to try things like inviting him over to do something you like to do. Maybe, you could have him and a few friends together to do something you enjoy. If you plan things to do and invite him to come along, it might be a little more fun!

If he still doesn't listen, he might not be worth keeping around as a close friend. You have to think of yourself as well as him. If you don't like him and don't share the same interests, you don't have to hang out with him. As you pointed out, it might be a good idea to distance yourself from him a little bit. That way, you can have a friend to go to a concert with or talk to every once in a while. If you completely stop talking to him, that can get a bit awkward. Maybe you could try talking to him a little less every week, but don't break off contact completely. This way, you can remain friends, just not as close friends as before.

Really, it's your choice whether you want to continue this friendship or not. I hope this helped .

Find your light in a new dawn.

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