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LonelyFighter96 Offline
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Angry My mum guilts me into babysitting? - February 27th 2014, 07:39 PM

I'm 17 years old, my mum had me young and didn't have anymore kids with my dad even though they were together 11 or so years because he had an accident and can no longer reproduce. My mum got into a new relationship 2 years ago and 3 months ago they had a little boy Archie, I love my little brother, but every Friday and sometimes Saturday my mum guilts me into babysitting. Me and my mum don't have the best relationship, so when my mum says "will you babysit tonight" If I say no she will get pissed at me or angry, she says I don't care about Archie or I don't want her to have a good time, she says I never do anything for the family, so I end up just saying yes and eventually agreeing. Recently its been every Friday and Saturday, they stay out until about 5 am and leave the house about 6, that leaves me to do all the night feeds, I have MH issues, I have psychosis, depression and anxiety, I've had episodes while Archie is with me alone, luckily I have never hurt him, I don't think even my demons want to hurt him because they've never targeted him. Yet if I call Mum to call her to come home, she will turn off her phone ect. I don't know what to do, Help!!!!
   
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Re: My mum guilts me into babysitting? - February 28th 2014, 02:45 AM

Hey Bex, this sounds like a tough situation to be stuck in. Does your mom know that you've had episodes while caring for Archie by yourself? If not I would suggest telling her since this could become dangerous. Even if you don't think you would ever hurt him it's better to be safe than sorry.

As far as babysitting goes, I would suggest asking your mom and her boyfriend for advanced notice so that you at least have a chance to make plans of your own. For example, let them know that you don't mind watching him, but would like to be asked at least (certain number of days ahead of time) that you consider reasonable and that if they don't give you that notice you will have already made plans. This way, they have a chance to ask you and if they don't, then you aren't available. That would at least take care of the fact that they're dropping him on you at the last minute.

You might also say something along the lines of "I've watched him both Friday and Saturday for the last (how ever many weeks) so for (that same number of weeks) I am not available to do so. It doesn't mean that I don't love him, or you, it means that I am taking weekend time for myself." I figure they've had their "break" it's your turn.


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Re: My mum guilts me into babysitting? - February 28th 2014, 07:17 AM

Yeah but they always get pissed at me if I have plans, because they always assume I'm doing something bad, they say if I'm indoor with Archie atleast I'm not out on the streets with my mates. I have told them I have episodes with Archie in my care, but my mum always says something along the lines of "you'll never hurt him'' I just don't know what to do. I love my little brother, but I don't want to hurt him or burden him with my problems and neglect his needs because I'm having a bad day.
   
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Re: My mum guilts me into babysitting? - March 1st 2014, 09:20 PM

I'm not assuming, but do they have reason to believe that you're doing something you shouldn't be or do they just use their fear as an excuse to guilt you into babysitting?


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Re: My mum guilts me into babysitting? - March 1st 2014, 10:31 PM

Not really, the only time I did was when I was withdrawing from my anti psychotics, but my GP explained that I may act on impulse during the days after it. Most of the time its to guilt me into it.
   
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Re: My mum guilts me into babysitting? - March 3rd 2014, 12:02 PM

By reading your situation, I must say you are going through the difficult situation. From my point of view, I can suggest you gather with your parents somehow discuss all your issues with them and proceed accordingly.
   
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