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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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How to deal with a snoopy friend? - March 23rd 2014, 04:03 PM

I have a "friend" who loves to delve into the details of my personal life, as well as others. I have caught him on numerous occasions- my Facebook profile (he installed a key logger to read the messages between myself and my boyfriend), my school account with my grades, and even going so far as to looking up my salary to let me know that he's making more money.

It's beyond frustrating. Whenever I'm over, he's on our state's judicial page looking up who from high school has been arrested. He stumbled on one of my friend's criminal records and that set me over the edge.

Despite asking him *several* times to stop doing this, he doesn't, and even says it's human nature. Yes, human nature to be curious but not to stalk?

How do you deal with that one friend who loves to know more about you than you want them to know?

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Re: How to deal with a snoopy friend? - March 23rd 2014, 06:27 PM

Hi there,
I would suggest sitting down with them and talking through what they are doing and how it is making you feel; as that way you will both know each others side of the story. It could be your friend doesn't know how his behavior is making you feel.
I hope this helps, feel free to PM or VM me if you need to talk further.

I'm here if anyone wants to talk, I'm always here. Feel free to VM or PM me
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Re: How to deal with a snoopy friend? - March 23rd 2014, 07:24 PM

I know you've asked him to stop many times, and he obviously hasn't done that. I guess the next thing you need to consider is if he's worth keeping around. Does he hold some good points in your friendship? Do they outweigh those bad points? If you can't put up with his stalkish behaviour any more then you might just want to consider not spending as much time with him any more.

It's obviously a big issue that he has in his life that he needs to work on by himself, but he doesn't see it as a problem yet. Maybe when his friends decide to not hang around with him any more because of this behaviour, he might know that it's time to stop.

Take care.

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Re: How to deal with a snoopy friend? - March 23rd 2014, 07:39 PM

Okay, if it were just a matter of him trying to read over your shoulder or something I would just suggest making sure he's not near you when you text/message people and having passwords that he doesn't know.

However, him installing a key logger changes a lot. That's beyond just being nosy. There is absolutely nothing okay with that and personally, I would cut him out of my life completely. There is no reason that is okay or appropriate for him to do. That's just creepy and it seems like he may have a problem with respecting privacy.

"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
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Re: How to deal with a snoopy friend? - March 24th 2014, 06:21 AM

If he's trying to use "but it's human nature that makes me want to know every single detail of your personal life" as an excuse for this behavior, I don't know why you haven't filed a police report on this person yet. The keylogger seems to show that this is different from just someone who is curious. Cut him out of your life. NOW.

"Structure is the enemy of progressive thought."
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Re: How to deal with a snoopy friend? - March 24th 2014, 10:03 AM

Sit down and have a talk with your 'friend'. At the end of the talk if you really think he doesn't get it, you should call off being friends with him.

~the dragon one
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