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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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sassie_girl Offline
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Unhappy Friend trouble - April 19th 2014, 01:31 PM

So there's a dance coming up at my school in about a month. My best friend, and really my only close friend, and I (we're both girls) had said that she wanted to go togther as friends and we'd have a good time. Then a few days later she calls and tells me that she has a date. Not a date-date, but that they were going as friends. That's what she told me. I felt totally pushed aside and second place,why would she break a promise to me? I'm friends with the boy who asked her and found out that he has a crush on her. I know for a fact she doesn't like him back. But she won't back out of the date. I'm so stressed out and jealous. I don't want to lose her and really don't want him hanging around becasue he's not all that great. I'm always the solo-girl and she knows that. I had kind of hoped that this would be different and it'd just be the two of us. Any advice?? I'm desperate, please????
   
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Re: Friend trouble - April 19th 2014, 02:27 PM

Hey.

I guess it wasnt great decision of your friend to broke the promise which she made to you.If thats troubling you,then I will suggest you to talk with her about postponing her date with that guy.If she is your close friend,I am pretty sure that she will agree with you.
Secondly,its your friends decision with which guys she wants to hang around.Although you are saying that you dont like that guy,what if that guy would be a nice guy and your friend really likes his company?You should inquire well about this guy before coming out with an conclusion.
You should talk with your friend as much as you can about it.Afterall shes your bestfriend.

Take care.
   
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Re: Friend trouble - April 20th 2014, 03:17 AM

Unless your friend is trying to win a Saint award she wouldn't break a date with you to go out with a guy she has NO interest in. Maybe she knows YOU don't like him so she only said she didn't because that was how you felt. Talk to her. Ask her. And if she DOES like this guy that's her choice. Unless he is mean/abusive/ etc. you should be her friend and be accepting of her choice. It's normal to be jealous but it's not worth loosing a friend over.
   
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Re: Friend trouble - April 20th 2014, 05:00 AM

I'm sorry that your friend broke the promise that she made to you.

Unfortunately, this type of thing happens all the time - and I know, it sucks. Have you tried talking to her about the way you're feeling? Maybe she doesn't even realize that she's hurt you as much as she has. Communication is key here, and I would strongly recommend that you talk to her about the way you're feeling. Trust me, this isn't worth losing a friend over - not at all.

As for the dance, do you have any other friends that you can go with? Sometimes, people go to dances in large groups; it doesn't only have to be pairs. Talk to some of your other friends and see what they're doing. Even if you don't find a date/friend/group for the dance, trust me, there will be a lot more solo people at the dance than you think. Usually, at dances, people hang around in groups anyway; no one really stays isolated with their date only. It'll be fun.

But, I think the biggest issue here is your friendship. It seems like you guys are pretty good friends, so I wouldn't let this come between you guys. Sure, it was a crappy thing for her to do, but is it worth losing your friendship over? I really think that you need to talk to her about the situation and the way you're feeling. It'll help more than you think.

Good luck.


Harvey Specter
Don't play the odds, play the man.
   
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Re: Friend trouble - April 21st 2014, 11:30 AM

I think that you need to sit down with her (not necessarily literally) and just talk about the situation. Tell her how you feel, but try to understand why she has done what she has too. Don't overreact and throw away your friendship over this; it sounds like you guys are really good friends and that honestly is not worth throwing away over some guy.


You could also try to see if you could find someone else/some other people to go to the dance with you, that way you will not miss out regardless of what happens between you and your friend ❤️


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