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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Goodbye_Lullaby Offline
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Name: Ciara
Age: 21
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Not going to be able to talk to my best friend - May 16th 2014, 10:33 PM

So for the past few years my best friend has had loads of problems to overcome. Recently she has decided she really wants to focus on recovery, and obviously I was really happy for her. For the past week my other friend (lets call her g to stop confusion) said it seemed like my friend (lets call her a) was acting abit strange. This was mainly because she had deleted all pictures of them both off of her instagram (she kept the ones with just me and her on there) and she also made a post about how she has to make some hard or selfish sacrafices to help her move forward. G said she tried messaging a to ask waht was wrong but got on response. I didn't really get this as much from her, like on Wednesday we where talking about an All Time Low concert we went to as they released a music video with footage from the show and we where saying how we have to seem them live again and meet them. So it seemed fairly normal. G however was really worried that a might be distancing herself from her because g has her own problems and might be bringing a down a bit.
Then today I was on the bus home from school and I got a facebook message in the group convo with me a and g. It went along the lines of this:
Recently I been thinking abiut how I can become more positive in my life, and I feel like a need space. I have alot going on in out mind, and because we have out own problems our friendships can be stressful. So I think its best to have space so I can sort myself out. This is intential and I'm sorry if it upsetting but i feel its best for my recovery. I really apriciate the support you have giving me and I hope I have been a good friend. I love you and no one has done anything wrong.
It isnt word for word, but its the genral idea of it. I very nearly burst into tear right then on the bus. I just stared at the message and I couldn't reply, so I just closed it and out on some music (the first song to come uo was theraoy by all time low which didnt help) I went home and acted like everything was fine and didn't tell my mum. G saw the message and replied just saying how she knew something was wrong and a should have told her sooner but she is proud of how far she has come and when she is in the place she wants to start talking to us again and not to forget about her. She then text me asking if I was ok, I didn't reply because I didn't know what to say. G has only known a for about a year, I have known her for nearly 4. We have been through so much together. I just carried on with things, I practised guitar for a bit and put a video of me playing on instagram and watch youtube like I do every friday trying to ignore it. A sent us another message in reply to g saying thanks for understanding and she won't forget about us. I have just got into bed and was scrolling through facebook trying to ignore what has happened then I saw a screenshot of a tweet by alex gaskarth wich said :I really wanna take this time to say, I love you. Whoever is reading this and is having a bad day. You're too beautiful to frown.
Somehow I just completly lost it. I love a so much, and of course I want her to get better, I want the best for her. I just can't lose her. We had a couple of months a year ago when we didn't speak due to a long confusing misuderstanding. It was terrible I hated it. I need her. A part of me is clinging onto stupid hope like today she set her profile picture to one of us two from the end of last year. Or that the video I posted on instagram was me playing and singing a song by her favourite band (who i don't really like. I loved the song though) and she then made a post a couple of hours later on her instagram about that same song helping her today.
What can I do, I feel lost knowing I can't just message her because Jenna McDougal posted on instagram or about the posters in Kerrang, or I can't have the sleepover where we eat loads of chocolate and pizza and stay up till 2 in the morning watching bryanstars iterviews or just go into town and look at the same cds in hmv that we never have money to buy, or when we go get doughnuts or anything. Yes I have g and she is amazing I have other friends at school, but I don't want to lose a. Sure hopefully in a few months we will be talking again. Her and g our meeting her favorite band in november all three of us are seeing my favorite band tonight alive together aboyt a week after. But still I don't want to not have those stupid times with her for however long it will be.


I wanna be alive well don't you? There's no use in feeling low.
7th March 2013 Met my Heroes Tonight Alive <3
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Kalina Offline
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Re: Not going to be able to talk to my best friend - May 17th 2014, 11:09 PM

Hey, I know what it's like to not want to lose a friend. The feeling inside is indescribable. For your situation, it looks like your friend is making a choice based on what will be best for her. Not being able to talk to her as much will be so hard, there is no denying. But, always remember that she made this choice to help herself! And once the time is right, you'll be able to see her again. Right now, just let her know that you're here for her and that you're proud of what she's doing for herself. Your support will mean the world to her and help more than you know. Cherish the memories that you have and you'll be able to see her again. I hope that things work out!
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friend, talk

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