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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Dealing with negative people - August 27th 2014, 05:11 AM

So I know this person and am forced to spend time with them on a daily basis since we ride together. The problem is that she is a complete Debbie Downer about every little fucking thing. When she isn't trying to guilt trip me and make me feel bad for her, she's trying to play psychologist on me and my siblings. She gets so out of line, disrespectful, nosy, and inappropriate that the only polite response I feel she deserves is silence. I tell her straight up that I won't respond to her negative remarks and inappropriate conversation, but she never seems to learn no matter how often I say and do this. The problem is only exacerbated because she is extroverted and I'm introverted, so she wants to fill every possible silence with her voice and I have nothing to talk about because I have no ability to hold meaningless conversations.

How do I fix this? I feel like the situation is just getting worse with time. We just spent an entire week together on a road trip, and now she's saying I never talk to her? This is really frustrating and I'm running out of ideas.
   
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Re: Dealing with negative people - August 27th 2014, 07:44 AM

Hey there,

From what you've said, it sounds like you've already tried talking to her about it. If that didn't work, then I'm not too sure what will. You could try talking to her again, and basically tell her about how all of these things that she's doing is upsetting you.

If that doesn't work, then just ignore her. You say you have to spend time together because you ride together, and so I'm assuming that you guys carpool or take the same bus. Once you get on, put on earphones and listen to music. If she's a normal person, she won't be bothering you while you're listening to music.

I hope that helped. Feel free to message me if you would like to talk!

Kyra
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Re: Dealing with negative people - August 28th 2014, 02:05 AM

Hey there,

The best advice I can give you is that you try talking to her one more time and let her know what she is doing, exactly, that is bothering you. Maybe try giving her examples of the things she does that bother you so that she will have a better idea of what is causing you so much concern. If that doesn't work then the best thing to do is to continue ignoring her. The fact is that some people aren't willing to change their behavior because they don't think what they are doing needs changing and if that is the case with this woman then no amount of talking is going to make her change. If you can't get her to tone down her behavior you can continue ignoring her and try listening to music or do other things to distract yourself while you are stuck with her.


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