TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Butter Offline
Appears at the worst times
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Butter's Avatar
 
Name: Butter or Bratwurst
Age: 20
Gender: Female

Posts: 23
Join Date: June 5th 2015

Question How to become friends with a shy person with English as her 2nd language? - September 12th 2015, 05:43 PM

I'm a junior in highschool. Since I came here I often saw a girl in the hallways and in a few of my non core (classes like gym, journalism, art) classes, and she was always alone. I've never seen her talk to anybody other than this one time last year when a boy was making fun of her (he makes fun of all the "different" younger, or nerdy girls. He was also bullying me at the time) who I immediately scared away from her. I found out later that year that she was in a non-English study hall, where the kids who were not completely fluent in English went to learn how to talk to teachers and work on speaking only English in school. We went though the rest of the year with nothing more than eye contact.

This year, however, we started having actual classes together. She is in my first period gym and my last period journalism class. She doesn't talk very loud so sometimes I can't hear her, and her very thick accent makes it hard to understand her sometimes. I have to ask her to repeat herself a lot and I don't want to make her feel insecure when talking to me. It's not one sided, she'll come sit next to me without calling her over when she can, and that tells me that she might want to be friends too. The most information I got about her was that she went to Pakistan this summer and got a lot of clothes that she could wear, because it's hard to find clothes her religion will allow in America. She wears a headscarf too, so I'm pretty sure she's Muslim. I really want to be her friend, but don't want to make her feel insecure when talking to me. How do I approach this so I can understand her?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Not_here Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Not_here's Avatar
 
Name: nobody
Gender: Other

Posts: 2,538
Blog Entries: 571
Join Date: October 24th 2011

Re: How to become friends with a shy person with English as her 2nd language? - September 12th 2015, 05:54 PM

Hey there,
I've had some friends in school who recently came to the US or their parents do not speak English. I think that you can still do activities together like eating lunch or maybe as partners for gym.

What came to mind was written language. This will not only help her improve her English immensely but she is probably more comfortable texting. I think talking to her by online or text messaging can go a long way. Then in school, it may be slow conversations at first but you'd be developing a friendship at the same time by written word at the same time, at least until she gets to a level of speaking fluent English.

Another idea is if you teach each other exchanging languages. Maybe you can pick up some of the words in her native language and she for English so you'd sorta meet midway.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Just me

Posts: 16,760
Blog Entries: 1770
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: How to become friends with a shy person with English as her 2nd language? - September 13th 2015, 02:41 AM

Honestly, I think you are doing the best you can. When there is a language barrier there are going to be times when the person is going to have to repeat themselves because you don't understand. However, it's possible that there might be times when you will have to repeat yourself because she doesn't quite understand. I wouldn't worry too much about making her feel bad instead you should continue trying to make contact with her and see where the friendship goes. If you become more comfortable with her you could, possibly, ask her if she gets insecure if you ask her to repeat herself. You might actually find out that this doesn't make her insecure.

The most important thing is that you are being kind to her and trying to initiate friendship. You said it doesn't seem like she has that so I am sure she cares more about that then she does anything else.


|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
2nd, english, friends, language, person, shy

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.