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Unhappy I'm in charge? - December 7th 2015, 05:12 PM

Hi

A while back my mum told me about how when she turned 14 her mum got depression and she was left to basically be in charge. She warned me that its hereditary and there's a strong chance me and my mum will inherit it. Recently my mum has been showing signs of depression. She has lost her appetite, she's more stressed and shes smoking more and more. Today i found her crying because of something embarrassing her ex did, and i know its not because of the breakup as shes been like this way longer. I've found myself doing more and more things which is making me stressed such as caring for my brothers, doing shopping, cooking, cleaning etc, of course that's on top of my school work too. I'm really struggling and i'm so worried about our family. I really need some advice on what to do or how to help.

Thanks
   
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Re: I'm in charge? - December 7th 2015, 06:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by fat_santa_123 View Post
Hi

A while back my mum told me about how when she turned 14 her mum got depression and she was left to basically be in charge. She warned me that its hereditary and there's a strong chance me and my mum will inherit it. Recently my mum has been showing signs of depression. She has lost her appetite, she's more stressed and shes smoking more and more. Today i found her crying because of something embarrassing her ex did, and i know its not because of the breakup as shes been like this way longer. I've found myself doing more and more things which is making me stressed such as caring for my brothers, doing shopping, cooking, cleaning etc, of course that's on top of my school work too. I'm really struggling and i'm so worried about our family. I really need some advice on what to do or how to help.

Thanks
The UK has a very decent health public health service compared to most countries on Earth. People will always bitch at it, but it is still, one of the best. Surely... there are meds that can help these kinds of things?

I'm only stating the obvious... because I've known people who just do nothing and let themselves disintegrate that way, even though there is help available.

"Hereditary" doesn't mean you can't do anything about it. Maybe when your mum was your age... things were worse, but quite a lot has changed. Be optimistic about it, and fight it. Don't just assume that you're both "doomed". That's bullshit.
__________________________________________________ ___

Sometimes, saying things like that "you will suffer from the same depression at her age" becomes a self-fulfilling profecy. I'm not sure I can explain this simply. Just watch this clip from the Matrix film:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqFPDrDWAHs

I don't know what your mum's condition is, and if I knew I probably wouldn't understand it fully either, but, maybe it only appears hereditary because of your circumstances. Maybe it isn't hereditary at all. If a person (your mum) goes through life, 20 or 30 years, thinking and believing that at a certain age they are going to slump into an incurable depression... it is quite likely that they will do exactly that. Not because it is hereditary, but because they unintentionally brainwashed themselves for decades into thinking that they are "doomed" to suffer depression later in life.

It's similar to telling someone from a young age that they're full of shit and a failure. They end up brainwashed with that idea... and live up to it. Otherwise, they could have been a perfectly functional and healthy person.

There are as far as I know, hereditary "illnesses" which cause depression, but there's no way for me to tell from your post if that's the case for your mum. These "illnesses" have names. If you want to help your mum, find out more about the details. Find out what hereditary "illness" this might be, consult a GP. There's probably 90% chance that something positive can be done to help her and both of you.


.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.



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Re: I'm in charge? - December 8th 2015, 02:56 AM

Have you talked to your mom? If you're concerned for her, perhaps you could bring it up, however delicately you feel the situation calls for. You could always tell her that you remember her telling you about it and now she seems down so you're worried and would like her to talk to someone when she's ready. She herself might not even be aware of it and could use the support. One thing I'd like to mention is that mental illnesses aren't necessarily hereditary; they don't know why it occurs because their are many causes so I wouldn't worry about getting depression too.




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