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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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I'm a mistake? - May 15th 2009, 02:46 AM

So my mom was talking about how she's given up her life for her kids and shes like "i gave up my life for brook's dad by going to North Carolina with him for his job.. and know that I think of it I wish I wouldn't have gone at all" and i was like "If you didn't go then I wouldn't be alve" and she's like "mhm i know" and woow she might as well have slapped me across the face like it doesn't sound like much but really ugh it hurt so bad,


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Re: I'm a mistake? - May 15th 2009, 06:27 AM

Oh wow, Brook, I'm really sorry. Thats a horrible thing for any parent to say. I dont think she really meant it in that way, maybe she was just thinking about the decision she made and wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying to you.


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But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.


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Re: I'm a mistake? - May 15th 2009, 09:39 AM

That would hurt, maybe confront her and let her know it hurt, maybe she wasn't paying attention to the words she was saying, as star_crossed had mentioned.
   
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Re: I'm a mistake? - May 17th 2009, 03:29 AM

Surely she did not say that to hurt you, she was probably just missing her family or where she grew up. I really hope that you don't take it too hard. I know it hurts but, youre worth more then letting what someone else says about you control you PM me if you ever need to talk!

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Re: I'm a mistake? - May 17th 2009, 04:40 AM

Hi Brook,

I agree with everyone else. You're definitely not a mistake, and even if your mom is going through a tough time right now, you're not the reason she is. Sometimes parents say things without really thinking or without meaning for them to affect us the way they do, too.

Hang in there. And be proud of yourself.


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Re: I'm a mistake? - May 17th 2009, 04:50 AM

I'm sorry she said that Brook.
I'm sure she didn't mean it the way it came out. I'm sure your mother loves you very much, and does not regret having you for one moment. Don't dwell on it; parents view their children as gifts, even if they might forget it sometimes.




   
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Re: I'm a mistake? - May 17th 2009, 07:58 PM

Has something else been going on in your family's life? Has your mom and dad been fighting or something? Maybe she just wishes she did not have to go there and they could have just stayed where they lived before. I'm very sorry. I can not imagine my mom saying that.

Try talking to her. I know its hard to talk to your mom sometimes, especially at times like this. I hope it goes well. I'm sure she just didn't really know what she was thinking..
   
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Re: I'm a mistake? - May 27th 2009, 10:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Perfectly*Imperfect View Post
So my mom was talking about how she's given up her life for her kids and shes like "i gave up my life for brook's dad by going to North Carolina with him for his job.. and know that I think of it I wish I wouldn't have gone at all" and i was like "If you didn't go then I wouldn't be alve" and she's like "mhm i know" and woow she might as well have slapped me across the face like it doesn't sound like much but really ugh it hurt so bad,
You are not a mistake... You are here aren't you? It suck, but sometimes adults don't always think before they open their mouths. And if your family is stressed like mine is then these sayings get said all the time... It's hard but simply take it with a grain of salt.

I'm sure your mother has said many positive things to you. Don't let this one negative thing overshadow all of those positives. I really hope I've helped.
   
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Re: I'm a mistake? - May 30th 2009, 03:59 AM

I don't think she meant it to hurt you. My Dad tells me a couple of times how he gave up on his dreams and how he resents he didn't have more force to continue going on... Even though that would have led him in a different direction, the one thing I innately know is that even though he wished that his professional life would have taken different turns, it wasn't personal. I'm sure your Mom probably just meant the same thing - that she wishes she would have tried harder in life and gotten farther than she did. Sometimes adults have dreams too, the same dreams they had when they were much younger, and looking back resent that they didn't continue following those. If anything it's more mid-life crises than you.

Put simply, your Mom probably just phrased it wrong. You're not the mistake. You're still her child and she wouldn't want to lose that. But, maybe she wants more career wise or something at the moment and is having a difficult time going through that. Whatever it is, it's not you.
   
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