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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lyss_ Offline
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Name: Alyssa
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Angry Seriously considering running away. Like now - December 20th 2015, 10:06 PM

The past couple months have been really bad, specifically with my mom. My dad has been taking paid time off but when it's over he's laid off and that time is coming to an end. He's a contractor so he always has projects going on in the house. But during his time off he hasnt done anything and its been making my mom mad so she would complain to me about him. Today he got an attitude with me when I asked him what food he was putting on the burner so it pissed me off. I hate when people act like that. So I went in the living room to chill out because I kinda have anger issues. Then my mom comes out and i guess my face didn't look happy enough so she tells me to stop sulking and blaming my issues on other people. What the shit? So I told her i wasnt trying to and that I had already started cleaning up. Then she keeps fucking going. And I'm just trying to stay calm. She kept telling me to change what I dont like. I told her I cant. I cant make her quit smoking and I cant make my dad stop being an alcoholic. I never said that, I just told her I couldnt change my problems. We dont have a lot of money and Im just like what the fuck. The money you guys spend on cigarettes and beer each year combined is easily enough to get all this shit you complain about not being able to buy. So i go into my room to chill out because she wont be quiet. Im just telling her okay I understand because she wont stop. THEN SHE TELLS ME I WONT STOP??? But then when I got silent she stands there still talking shit. She said sixteen is the most annoying age so I said that she was there too. And she said she got her ass beat at 16 so I gave her a thumbs up and went into my closet away from her and she left my room but kept talking so I went to the bed. She still talking about how I never shutup while Im sitting quietly on my bed giving everything in me to not freak out and start screaming. So I told her im just like her we have the exact same attitude. So she tells me that I can be like her and get my ass beat so I said yup such a good mom and asked if I could be alone. She said no. My cousin called because her 8 year old son is here. She asked something and my mom kept yelling at me so I just hung up the phone and tossed in my bed and she grabs it and says "You not getting this or anything else til you clean your room and grow up". So I went and got my laptop and when I walked past her she says "You need a fucking psychiatric evaluation you crazy bitch" and that was rich. Because Im actually struggling with anxiety and depression and she doesnt know. So I got on my laptop and sent my boyfriend a message. He's the only person that has my back that I trust. I really want to just getup and leave I'm sick of this shit.
   
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Re: Seriously considering running away. Like now - December 22nd 2015, 01:12 AM

Hello there Alyssa,

I'm sorry to hear about the terrible situation you're in right now. It's clear that your parents aren't being good role-models to you, and I can understand why you're very frustrated. Not only that, but you are struggling with anxiety and depression on top of that. The way your parents are acting towards you isn't making things any better for you. You are right that you can't make your parents stop being drug addicts, nor can you change the kind of person they are unfortunately. It's up to them whether or not they want to change, but understand that this isn't your responsibility nor obligation to change the way your parents are. Though, it seems you are already aware of that.

It's good that you have your boyfriend who you can trust and talk to. I'm presuming you two live close to each other? If you do, maybe you should consider staying over at your boyfriend's house for the meantime. That is, if his parents are okay with it. Another thing to consider is seeking help from a professional about your situation. There may be a way to resolve your whole home situation. I recommend you talk to a therapist or school counselor about this situation, and get some suggestions on what you should do about your situation.

Unless you know of a family relative that you can stay with and it's not too far from school, or somehow your boyfriend lets you live in his house, I believe it might not be a good idea to run away. I understand that you can't stand your parents, but running away isn't the answer to solving your situation. If you run away, you are going to face more struggles than you already are. For example, you don't want to end up homeless and have to be on the streets asking for help with necessities/money to get by. Also, not only that, but there's a lot of risk you'll be taking, and in my opinion, I believe that's something you shouldn't go through, especially since you're only 16. Aside from getting away from your parents, what will running away really solve for you?

An alternative that may help you is getting a job. I don't know what the rules are about getting a job in Oregon under 18, but if you are able to get a job, it would benefit you by that you can start paying for your own things and you never have to ask your parents to pay for your necessities. Something for you to think about should you choose to do this.

You don't deserve any of this happening to you, and remember that what's going on at home isn't your fault. You have no control over it, and clearly your parents are the type that they don't want to admit when they're wrong, and apparently, they always scapegoat you for all their problems. I understand it's difficult for you to cope with how your parents are, but remember this: give it some thought about what you're going to do with your situation if anything, and whatever you choose to do, I'm sure it'll be for the better. Remember you deserve to be loved, not continuously frowned down upon for no reason. If all else fails and you aren't able to get out of the house, ignore your parents. Don't give them any kind of attention, and by avoiding and ignoring them, they will eventually give up and go somewhere else. Be the better person, and don't let them get to you.

I wish you all the best that your situation improves. Take care of yourself, and happy holidays.

-Batman




“The main thing is realizing that even if you feel terrible for a while, that’s not how you’re going to feel the whole time. . . . Things change if you just keep moving.” - Gary Vaynerchuk
   
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Re: Seriously considering running away. Like now - December 31st 2015, 07:34 AM

Hello Lyss

I think that Batman gave some advice .. and that there's many other things that you can do in order to help the situation. If they aren't treating you nicely and are inconsiderate then it might be better for you to ignore the harsh words they're saying. It's also better if you have a heart-to-heart with them to clear up feelings and begin anew (Stay safe too ) . Also, i think it's better if you distract yourself with some positive activities such as snowboarding, music and band in order to help divert some of your anger and help you express yourself.

I believe that you can overcome this, and there's not really anything in this world that can beat you when you're feeling on song and positive. I don't think anything can, really. And like I said before.. it's best if you talked to your boyfriend about this, and be honest and truthful about how all this is making you feel. The both of you have been together through thick and thin many times, and this is going to help you to overcome all the messed up feelings, and also provide a platform for self-belief.

It is true that sometimes parents can either construct or ruin self-confidence. In this case, it seems to be the latter and it's better if you do not take their harsh words to heart. you might want to tell your parents that you're going through a lot... I hope that they react in a caring way and might want to help you and listen to you. If they don't react in a supportive way, you're better off venting your feelings elsewhere.

You know that you'll always have my support.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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