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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Meowstic Offline
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eed some advice on how to get my Mom to listen to me - January 19th 2016, 03:25 AM

I live with my Mom and my little sister. My Mom works a lot so she is hardly ever at home. I have to babysit my little sister who is 3 years younger then me. She is a pain in the butt always getting in trouble and never listens to me when I am in charge. Whenever I tell my Mom about it she just says there is nothing she can do about it and she can't afford a babysitter so we just have to get along and that never helps. We move around a lot because my Mom can't afford rent and keeps getting kicked out of places and so we change schools a lot. My sister is very outgoing and always makes new friends very easy but I am really shy and have no friends. My sister is always bringing her friends over without asking me and they are rude and make fun of me for not having a life of my own. Most days I wish I could run away to get away from it all. I am finding it hard to concentrate in school because I always have so much on my mind and I am getting bad grades. My Mom yells at me for it all the time. I just feel like I can't handle it any more and no one will listen to me. Please help someone?
   
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Re: eed some advice on how to get my Mom to listen to me - January 19th 2016, 05:09 AM

It can be hard to get along with siblings. My brother is several years younger and we've gotten closer to each other as we've gotten older and that might happen to you and your sister as well. Is there anything you and your sister are both interested in? Maybe you can find things you like to do so you can hang out and it doesn't feel like you're babysitting her. You could get a set of Uno cards, watch TV together, or help her with her homework. When you're watching your sister, do you talk to her a lot about how you're in charge? If so, maybe you can cut back on doing that. It might make your sister want to rebel a little bit.

I know it's probably hard to cope when your sister and her friends make fun of you, but try to ignore it. They are several years younger and have different priorities than you do. I'm not sure if you're able to laugh at yourself and join in on the teasing, but being able to laugh at myself and tease people right back has kind of helped me. It might be something you can try.

As for making friends, consider joining some after school clubs or activities. You might meet people with similar interests. A lot of places like you to be a little older to volunteer, but you might be able to find a place to volunteer or wait a little while. Volunteering is fun and rewarding and it's a way to meet people. You can also talk to people on here. I know online friends are different than friends in person but everyone here is really nice.

I do think you should try to sit down with your mom when she's not busy. You said she's at work a lot so maybe you can write her a note and leave it when she'll find it. I think you should tell her about how you feel. Maybe you can tell her about how your sister invites friends over without asking. Explain that moving around a lot and the other things going on in your mind is a lot for you to handle and it impacts your grades. If you don't want to talk to her, maybe talk to a counselor at school. You deserve support for this.


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Re: eed some advice on how to get my Mom to listen to me - January 19th 2016, 03:19 PM

I have nothing in common with my sister and any time I try to talk to her or suggest something to do she says something rude back or ignores me. She invites her friends over almost everyday and they all act like they own the place and don't have to listen to me at all. I don't brag about being in charge I just try to keep her out of trouble and don't like her friends they are a bad influence 2 of them smoke they are only 10. I have told my Mom everything I have said here and more and she never really listens. She says things like I'm the older one so I have to try harder to get along with my sister and set a good example and all kinds of other useless things that don't help at all and my sister never gets in trouble for anything. I can't join any after school clubs because I have to babysit everyday after school. I just have one more year until my sister is the same age I was when I started babysitting her then I cans get a job after school and she can be responsible for herself. I just don't know what I am supposed to do until then
   
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Re: eed some advice on how to get my Mom to listen to me - January 19th 2016, 04:12 PM

Ten is young to smoke. You're a really good sibling for trying to keep her out of trouble, but think of it this way: you said you're going to try to get a job in another year or two and your sister will be responsible for herself. If she wants to get herself into trouble, she is going to do it regardless, probably more so than she already is if you are not around and she seems to be around bad influences (her friends) already. I know your sister is young for this, but the fact of the matter is, she is the only person who can control herself. I think it's great you're trying to help her but if she makes the choice to get into something, that is ultimately her fault. I know she is so young and it might sound harsh to say that, but it's the truth. I think you should continue trying to help her and encourage her into healthier things as she could be acting out due to some things she is feeling. It might be hard to look past her attitude but younger kids act out differently and it could be because she is stressed with all of the moving around.

Until then, continue to watch over your sister and maybe consider creating your own safe place that you can take yourself to when you're stressed out. You can use different coping skills there, or just sit with your thoughts. This article might help you. Keep yourself distracted and use some calming techniques to help you get through this next year. I know you can do it.


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Re: eed some advice on how to get my Mom to listen to me - January 30th 2016, 02:05 AM

Today after school I caught my sister and her friends smoking in the basement! I was so angry I told them to leave and they wouldn't so I tried calling my mom at work and she didn't answer. Then I called my Dad and he came over and sent all the girls home and called their parents to tell them what their kids were doing and stayed with us until my mom got home. Now they are having a huge fight yelling for over am hour andmy dad is saying he wants to go live with him! My step mom is evil so I don't wanna go there but I'm so glad my sister and her friends finally got in trouble.
   
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