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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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BookDragon Offline
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my mom kicked me out - February 29th 2016, 08:27 AM

My relationship with my mom has been deteriorating for quite some time. Last night it all came to a climax and she kicked me out, saying I am unwelcome to stay there anymore, even though it's my money that pays the bulk of the rent.

I don't want to stay there anymore but I also know that I have absolutely no clue how to live on my own despite being almost 20 years old.

I have nowhere to go. Nowhere to sleep, no money so I can eat, no way to wash my work uniforms.

I feel so helpless and scared. I don't know what to do.


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Re: my mom kicked me out - February 29th 2016, 02:28 PM

I'm sorry to hear that your mom has put you into this difficult position. You say that it's your money that mostly pays for the bills, so that must mean you have some source of income or something. Am I correct? I'll come back to that.

First of all, is there any chance that you can reconcile with your mom? If yes, maybe try. If no, it'll be ok.

I was 17 when I moved out on my own and I totally sucked at it at first. I don't think anyone really knows how to be a grown ass adult who lives on their own at first, it just takes time and experience.. You don't have to know how to cook or anything; you can just figure it out as you go.

Now I return to the money. Don't pay for your mom's bills if you're not even living there. Call around have your debit/credit account info removed from any household bills you pay. If you have to, you can probably go to the bank and have them close your account if your mom knows things such as the transit and account numbers as well as the number on the face of the card. If you tell the bank that someone has that information, they can help you.

Next, is there anyone you can stay with? I understand that it might be embarrassing to ask, but if you have a friend who can put you up for a bit that might help. She/he/they might even be able to help you get your belongings from your mom's when you have something more permanent. It might go a long way to tell them you need X number of days or weeks (e.g. 2 weeks). If not, is there is always the option of staying at a shelter. You can go to a women's or youth one (young is generally extended by 12-24 when it comes to shelters instead of just 12-18). The people there will likely also be able to help you get your belongings back from your mom, secure any social assistance you might need (e.g. welfare), find an inexpensive place to live, and find a job.

I hope everything will be ok. PM me if you need to talk.




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Re: my mom kicked me out - February 29th 2016, 06:36 PM

I'm sorry to hear about this, I can't imagine how you feel right now.

I agree with what's been said. Don't pay anything for your mom since you're not living there anymore. Let her figure out how to handle things by herself. I like the idea of closing your bank account and removing your information attached to your mom's house so she can't take advantage of you.

Maybe you can find someone to stay with, like a close friend or another family member for a little while until you get back on your feet. I know renting can be expensive, but you might be able to look into renting just a single bedroom in an entire house. A lot of people do that, especially for business, and if you meet the people before moving in, you should be okay.

As for your uniform, maybe you can hang it outside for a while if the weather is okay? Sometimes the fresh air can do a lot for clothes. You can look at the Dollar Tree (or any other dollar store you have around you) and you can get a mini bottle of detergent for your laundry. Maybe you can find a laundromat somewhere.

Cooking can be hard. I know I personally like to bake, not cook. But if it's one thing I learned, is that if you follow the directions and everything, you'll be able to cook. Someone has always told me that if you can read, you can cook.

I hope you find a place to stay.


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Re: my mom kicked me out - March 7th 2016, 09:47 AM

I'm sorry to hear about what happened.

Maybe you could try talking to her once everything has calmed down? You mentioned that your salary covers the bulk of the rent so it's probably not in your mom's best interest to kick you out either.

Try to talk it out with her in a sincere way after a day or two. I'm sure that if you really mean it something can be done.
   
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