TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
blair606 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
blair606's Avatar
 

Posts: 9
Join Date: February 22nd 2009

Am I being used? :( - May 21st 2009, 01:40 AM

I'm friends with a former teacher of mine. She's in her mid-thirties and we're super close and there is no weirdness about the fact that she used to be my high school teacher whatsoever. Anyway, I babysit her kids at least three nights a week for a few hours after school without receiving payment. For about a month I babysat them every day while she was running around, sometimes for 8-10 hours a day while her husband worked. Furthermore, I give her relationship advice about a guy she's seeing (she's divorcing her hub) several times a day via text (even if I'm in school) and I often mediate between her and her boyfriend when they're having issues communicating. Whenever they break up--which is often--I'm always the first person to talk to her and console her...I don't mind being there for her, but when it comes to me having a problem or wanting to talk, I sometimes feel like she brushes me off. She's a nice woman so I'm thinking she's unaware of it, but it seems like I devote a huge portion of my life to taking care of her kids and counseling her, but she blows me off sometimes when she doesn't "need" me....what should I do? How can I fix this?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
LiveLaughLove Offline
L☮VE = the answer (=
Not a n00b
**
 
LiveLaughLove's Avatar
 
Name: Simone
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: America

Posts: 81
Join Date: May 13th 2009

Re: Am I being used? :( - May 21st 2009, 02:21 AM

Hi, Blair (:
Welcome to TH!

Hmm, that doesn't seem to be a very balanced relationship; its totally fine that you're friends with someone who's older, and its fine that you o your friends favors. But for youto babysit her kids several times a week, and for periods of time, every day... and then from eight to ten hours... seems to be a bit much. So does the constant mediation business btween her and her boyfriend, when the help and support doesn't go both ways. If you're devoting so much of your time to this friendship, and she can't seem to respond to you and your own issues in a way that shows that she cares about you, as well... then maybe its time to have a chat with her about how you feel. I'm not suggesting that she's using you on purpse or anything.. if she's like you say she is, its likely that she doesn't even realize it. But I really would suggest sitting down and having a bit of a chat with her about all this, because unadressed problems tend to be persisting ones.
PM me anytime(:
Peace&Love,
Simone.


PM anytime (: ................ ☮ ♥ ♪ ♫ la la di da : )
i am beautiful because that's how i see myself.
talented, because i have confidence in what i do.
scarred because at times, i couldn't take it.
strong, because one day, i chose to be.
loveable because i've learned to love myself.
and also because, same as everyone else,
i was born that way.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
Tash-la
I've been here a while
********
 
Strider's Avatar
 
Name: Nat
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: A broken glass picture

Posts: 1,448
Join Date: January 19th 2009

Re: Am I being used? :( - May 22nd 2009, 03:01 AM

Hey Blair,

It is fine that you are friends with someone older, but if she is going to treat you like a friend and an adult, then she should be paying you for the childcare as well as treat you properly and listen to you when you want to talk. That's what responsible friends do, and as someone older, she should be doing this.

Don't hesitate to start asking her to pay you for babysitting. Just let her know that it does take up a lot of your time, and although you enjoy doing it, you would appreciate some compensation. Just know that a regular babysitter or daycare worker gets payed a heck of a lot more than nothing! So don't be afraid to ask.

I think you need to find someone else to talk to when you're having troubles. You can still console your friend and help her out now and again, but I do not think you should be using her as a primary person to talk to. She doesn't sound very dedicated and seems a little self absorbed in her own problems.

Nat.


http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/40/signaturep.png
The great artists of our time are the ones who created something timeless. But it was never them defining it that way.
Everyone has a story. What's yours?
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.