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mothersday but no mother... - May 13th 2017, 03:19 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hey. so this time of the year is really hard for me, because im a 14yr old girl whos mother chose drugs over her own daughter... her own DNA. How can someone do that? How will i be ok? help please...

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Re: mothersday but no mother... - May 13th 2017, 05:29 AM

Hey Brooklynn,

I'm so sorry to hear that Mother's Day is such a difficult time for you. I can't even imagine how you must feel thinking about the choices your mother made. Unfortunately, addiction is a beast and, if it takes hold, can greatly affect the choices that a person makes in negative ways. As much as it hurts, keep in mind that the choices your mother made have nothing to do with you. It's all part of a battle that it sounds like she hasn't begun to fight or is seriously struggling with.

Perhaps you could try to put a positive spin on this day by celebrating a woman in your life that HAS been there for you and has influenced your life in healthy ways. Is there an aunt or grandmother that you're particularly close to? If there is, consider spending the day with them and doing something to make them feel special and valued as a part of your life. If there isn't a family member that you have that kind of relationship with, perhaps you could make a card for a positive female role model in your life, such as a teacher or coach. I'm sure whoever you choose will feel very special for being thought of by you.

Take care,
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Re: mothersday but no mother... - May 13th 2017, 01:07 PM

Brooklynn, I am so sorry Mother's Day is a difficult day for you. Like Sammi said, addiction can be a powerful thing and it severely impairs people's judgement. Remember, her drug addiction isn't about you. If you ever need to reach out to us about that, don't hesitate. You can also use LiveHelp or HelpLINK if you'd prefer some anonymity and/or privacy on the subject.

Anyways, is there a female figure in your life that you look up to? She doesn't necessarily have to be related to you by blood, but if there is an aunt, sister, grandmother, then do something for them. The way I see it, Mother's Day is really more to celebrate the positive female role model in our lives, whether or not they're a mother and related to us by DNA or a piece of paper.
   
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Re: mothersday but no mother... - May 13th 2017, 04:34 PM

Hi Brooklynn, I am so sorry to hear that

It must be very tough for you... But I hope you find the strength to get over this, okay? I really cannot imagine how sad you are right now...

Is there any siblings, friends or relatives whom you are close to? They can probably help you and comfort you in person during difficult days like these. But in the meantime, we also hope we can comfort you in some way to let you get over this tragic day for you. I am so sorry, but I hope you will feel better soon.

Sometimes when tragic incidents like this happens, its irreversible, and I understand why you feel so sad. But remember, you are strong, and you can cope with adversities. It is true that you shouldn't forget about important incidents like this even if its tragic, because she means a lot to you. But remember, there is happiness that you deserve to have, irregardless of the incident. That incident can be a scar, but it will only act as a reminder that you are a strong person and will get through this, don't let it hurt you and bring you to horrible depressions that you dont deserve!

I will not encourage nor discourage you to celebrate this day. Its your choice. You can either not celebrate it to remember that incident, or celebrate it with a female relative who is close to you like a mother. In any case, I hope that you will get over it. You are strong and can do this.


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Re: mothersday but no mother... - May 14th 2017, 03:59 AM

thank you bunches sammi
   
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Re: mothersday but no mother... - May 16th 2017, 08:43 PM

Hi Brooklynn,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this. Unfortunately I see it happen more often then what people think. I in fact see it almost every week. I'm really sorry that you're one of the ones who is going through it. I don't really have any words to say that will make things feel better.

I am also going to move this to the Family forum as I believe you may get more responses there.

I hope you start feeling better soon.

Stay Strong,
Brittany



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