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Exclamation dissowned by dad. what should I do? - May 23rd 2017, 06:49 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

on sunday night, my parents looked at their bank statements. my dad saw that over $300 dollars went missing. he called my mom, who looked at her account. she saw a large amount of money gone. overall, over $1.5k was missing between the two of them. About 3weeks ago, they looked through my room, finding a small amount of cigs (3 packs) and my vape pen. my dad had been very dissapointed, but left me alone for the weekend. once my dad saw his bank statement, he kicked me out of the house. I had to pack my things, and I was lucky, because a senior I knew was willing to pick me up.(im a freshman in HS) tonight, my mom decided to look through my room. she found my (non-prescription) bottle of adderol. if she looks through my stuff, she could find my bottlle of codine (yes, codine) and my 32 acid tabs. what should I do? Im already staying at my mom's house, but she said that she would call the police the next time I have drugs or steal money. I have dealt with cops before, but I wasn't the one getting arrested.
   
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Re: dissowned by dad. what should I do? - May 23rd 2017, 10:03 PM

My best advice is to stop doing drugs and stop stealing. You are only 14 you shouldn't be ruining your life and yes drugs do ruin your life. I don't know you or your situation at home but I know that all parents love their children and so I think for your father to be disappointed was very reasonable but maybe kicking you out was a tad extreme. In life the people that will care for you the most is your family and so I would avoid doing anything to jeopardise that. I know it's easier said than done but I think it's time for you to start to change your life around before you end up in jail. It is what is best for your health, your happiness and your future. Wishing you the best. You can always reach out if you need to.
   
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Re: dissowned by dad. what should I do? - May 23rd 2017, 11:34 PM

If your mom does look through more of your things and she finds other drugs that are in your bedroom, you may have to face things depending on what she does. I don't know a lot about drug usage, but hopefully someone here who has more information than I do can give you some advice.

Perhaps you can use this time away from home as a way to look within yourself. For instance, do you know why you use drugs? Is there anything in particular that makes you feel like using them, and, if so, how can you work on those things? Taking some time away from your home may give you a chance to put things into a different perspective.

Maybe you could consider talking to someone you trust about this. If you don't want to talk to your parents, could you talk to anyone else? Like a friend, another family member, teacher, or a school staff member? Sometimes getting things off your chest can do a world of good.


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Re: dissowned by dad. what should I do? - May 24th 2017, 04:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassado View Post
If your mom does look through more of your things and she finds other drugs that are in your bedroom, you may have to face things depending on what she does. I don't know a lot about drug usage, but hopefully someone here who has more information than I do can give you some advice.

Perhaps you can use this time away from home as a way to look within yourself. For instance, do you know why you use drugs? Is there anything in particular that makes you feel like using them, and, if so, how can you work on those things? Taking some time away from your home may give you a chance to put things into a different perspective.

Maybe you could consider talking to someone you trust about this. If you don't want to talk to your parents, could you talk to anyone else? Like a friend, another family member, teacher, or a school staff member? Sometimes getting things off your chest can do a world of good.
Thanks. I am very glad you posted. dis made me think. I went outside, walked to the nearest trailhead, and started walking. on my almost three hour walk, I thought about your question. why do yo do drugs? I finnally figurred it out when I got to school (i was early, I left home at 3:30 am. I got t school about 7ish). durring my walk, I figgured out why I do drugs. Some, like alch and weed, I do just so I can have freinds. they are good people, but they are ussually unhappy and hungover. I do other drugs, like adderol (you won't want to eat) and nicotine to cope. I do other drugs as ways to experiment, or when I'm really f**king sad so I can die. and I do some really powerful drugs for fun(ONLY with people around me), like lean. itf was a really good question, and I will make sure to ask myself every time im about to do them.

Stopping drugs may sound easy, but it is not. I have gone to rehab twice already. the first time, I got out, but I relapsed about a week later. in my latest rehab encounter, I got home and drank an entire forty.
Nothing about drug abuse is pretty, I know first hand. Recovery is the hardest part.
-keagan
   
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Re: dissowned by dad. what should I do? - May 24th 2017, 10:09 AM

Your parents don't know what to do. Suggest to them that they go to a Nar-Anon meeting, or a Families Anonymous meeting, or some similar meeting for family and friends who know someone who has a problem with addiction. They need that so they can properly and lovingly care about you and love you while you deal with your difficulties. That may mean they decide for their own sanity that you need to go live somewhere else. They still love you, but having someone with an addiction problem living with you is often like living with a tornado. It's just very unpleasant. And they want a peaceful house to live in. Nar-Anon will teach them to take care of themselves, and love you, and that love will give you the encouragement to take care of yourself and fix yourself, which will be a lot of work, but the longest journey begins with a first step, so don't think of the journey, just think of the next step you can take. Like walking a tightrope, you focus on the next step, and you will eventually reach your goal. If instead you look at your goal, you will fall. So, just one step.
   
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Re: dissowned by dad. what should I do? - May 24th 2017, 08:21 PM

Hey there,

Regarding your answer to the question that Cassie posed, I want to give you a little bit of food for thought. The majority of it comes from personal experience, so I'm hoping it can provide you with a little bit of encouragement and a different way of looking at things.

You mentioned that some of the drugs that you do are so you can have friends. While it's not uncommon to want to participate in the same things your friends are doing, those friendships should NOT be based on drugs. If you feel that you need to do drugs in order to keep the group of friends that you currently have, they're probably not the healthiest of friendships. I'd like to encourage you to think about this: what value are those friendships adding to your life? Do the people make you feel better about yourself, provide you with encouragement when you need it, etc? Those are the kind of things that you need to be looking for in a friendship...and any good friend shouldn't make you feel like you need to do something in order to be a part of their life.

You also mentioned doing certain drugs as a coping mechanism or because you want to die. When trying to quit anything, it's important to find a healthy alternative that you can turn to in the moments that you feel like partaking in unhealthy behaviors. For example, you can exercise or do a calming activity such as coloring or writing in a journal when you feel the urge to do drugs to make life a little more bearable. The fact that you're also considering drugs when you want to die is definitely concerning as well. If you're having suicidal ideations, I would definitely recommend reaching out to someone in your life, whether it's a friend (preferably a sober friend), a teacher, a family member, or another trusted adult.

As far as the drugs that you're experimenting with just to have fun, there's one major question that you need to ask yourself. Is the temporary high worth your life? Sure, it's fun for the time being. One of the most common misconceptions when it comes to drugs is that if you're only doing it once or twice, nothing can go wrong. That's absolutely untrue. Even if you don't think you're taking much, there's still a huge risk that something will go wrong (negative reactions, accidental overdose, etc.) that could result in permanent brain damage or death. Is it really worth it?

You're right about one thing. Quitting definitely isn't easy. It's going to be a long, sometimes difficult process and I'm not going to try to sugarcoat that. It's going to take a lot of dedication, determination, and hard work on your part. Having a support system is also vital to the recovery process. It makes things seem more bearable when you know that you have people in your corner who are rooting for you. Perhaps you can start forming this support system by trying to make things right with your parents. Let them know that you've really been struggling and that you know your actions are unacceptable. Talk with them about finding a way for you to pay back the money and brainstorm other ways that you can start to repair your relationship. You can also let them know that you're serious about getting help (IF you're really willing to commit to it) and ask for their assistance and support as you find a rehab program and begin the recovery process. Believe me when I say that it will be so worth it in the long run.

I know you can do this!

Take care,
Sammi


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Re: dissowned by dad. what should I do? - May 25th 2017, 07:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metanoia. View Post
Hey there,

Regarding your answer to the question that Cassie posed, I want to give you a little bit of food for thought. The majority of it comes from personal experience, so I'm hoping it can provide you with a little bit of encouragement and a different way of looking at things.

You mentioned that some of the drugs that you do are so you can have friends. While it's not uncommon to want to participate in the same things your friends are doing, those friendships should NOT be based on drugs. If you feel that you need to do drugs in order to keep the group of friends that you currently have, they're probably not the healthiest of friendships. I'd like to encourage you to think about this: what value are those friendships adding to your life? Do the people make you feel better about yourself, provide you with encouragement when you need it, etc? Those are the kind of things that you need to be looking for in a friendship...and any good friend shouldn't make you feel like you need to do something in order to be a part of their life.

You also mentioned doing certain drugs as a coping mechanism or because you want to die. When trying to quit anything, it's important to find a healthy alternative that you can turn to in the moments that you feel like partaking in unhealthy behaviors. For example, you can exercise or do a calming activity such as coloring or writing in a journal when you feel the urge to do drugs to make life a little more bearable. The fact that you're also considering drugs when you want to die is definitely concerning as well. If you're having suicidal ideations, I would definitely recommend reaching out to someone in your life, whether it's a friend (preferably a sober friend), a teacher, a family member, or another trusted adult.

As far as the drugs that you're experimenting with just to have fun, there's one major question that you need to ask yourself. Is the temporary high worth your life? Sure, it's fun for the time being. One of the most common misconceptions when it comes to drugs is that if you're only doing it once or twice, nothing can go wrong. That's absolutely untrue. Even if you don't think you're taking much, there's still a huge risk that something will go wrong (negative reactions, accidental overdose, etc.) that could result in permanent brain damage or death. Is it really worth it?

You're right about one thing. Quitting definitely isn't easy. It's going to be a long, sometimes difficult process and I'm not going to try to sugarcoat that. It's going to take a lot of dedication, determination, and hard work on your part. Having a support system is also vital to the recovery process. It makes things seem more bearable when you know that you have people in your corner who are rooting for you. Perhaps you can start forming this support system by trying to make things right with your parents. Let them know that you've really been struggling and that you know your actions are unacceptable. Talk with them about finding a way for you to pay back the money and brainstorm other ways that you can start to repair your relationship. You can also let them know that you're serious about getting help (IF you're really willing to commit to it) and ask for their assistance and support as you find a rehab program and begin the recovery process. Believe me when I say that it will be so worth it in the long run.

I know you can do this!

Take care,
Sammi
Summi, I'm sorry for replying so late. This is finals week, and HS finals are not easy at all.

Summi, you gave me things to think about over the last few hours. To answer your first question, I don't find much value in having those people as freinds. I have met some very incredible people through meeting with drug buddies. Like my good freind Kyle (not his real name). Kyle is same grade, really nice guy. He only goes with us because he doesn't want to seem like a "looser" for not going. The only reason I go is because I can't usually hold off for any length of time. Me and "Kyle" told them that we were going to not come for a while. They asked why (they were sober when we told them), so we told them that our parents had caught us both sneaking out, and that we could go out for the next month-ish We havn't gone or drank at all for the last month and a half (a new record! My previous record was around 2.5 weeks). So many of my freinds have been really supportive, and a few of my addicted freinds (Kyle being one of them) have stuck by me, and we are trying to beat our addictions together. I only did that once, with codine. Word of advice: Never do codine. I used to take a little bit a week, (50ish mg) and had a lot of I-should-probably-go-to-the-hospital experiences. 50mg doesnt sount like much, but it can do so much damage without you even knowing.

Your secondthing was pretty true. I know more about side-effects than a pharmacist when it comes to some drugs. I have OD'ed more than once, and if you saw the number of times(which you won't, it's kind of embarrasing) you would ask me how I'm not dead yet.

To answer your question about experimenting, the high is not always worth it. I almost went to the hospital a few months ago, when I tried Lean. If you don't know what lean is, it is codine+alch. I couldn't take the amount of drugs that I had just taken. I felt so terrible afterwards, I didn't go to school for the next week. I threw up constantly… so… yeah. not fun. I Hope I answered most of your questions.

I am getting better, and I am only taking adderol now. Thanks Freinds!

If finals wasn't this week, I wouldn't be on adds. I use them to hyperfocus durring my finals. I have been getting pretty good grades cuz of it.

Thanks for all of your support and help,

-Keagan
   
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Re: dissowned by dad. what should I do? - May 25th 2017, 08:36 AM

I forgot to post this in the last comment, so I'll make it short and sweet.

I am trying to find ways to pay my parents back. I have the whole disowned thing under control. all it took was a little bit of WD-40 White Lithium lube (its actually a WD-40 product.), A peiece of paper, 2 slabs of thin and clear plastic, duck tape, a sharpie, a parent's car, and a very dirty mind.

If anyone has any Ideas on how I can get around $2.1k to pay my mom and ex-dad back, pm me or post it here. I have already gotten $300 from a almost full bottle of codine that I never planned on using. I used just enough to make some not super-mega-strong lean. My mom saw more of a decline in her bank account after she looked a little farther back. I already owed her over $1.2k, and she is now claiming over $2.1k is what I owe her now. my ex-dad is kind of pissed because I paid him $12 less than what I owe him. honestly, I find it kind of funny. I am thinking about starting a gofundme so I can pay him back. I forgot to mention that I have to pay for rehab. That all together costs $18.6k

if I do start a go fundme, I will put up the link. you are all terrific people.

-Keags
   
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