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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Taylortroiano4 Offline
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Sick but all my mom cares about is my sister - July 29th 2017, 04:35 PM

So this morning I woke up and my eye was puffy underneath and I had bumpy skin. Then my sister woke up and both eyes were puffy and she was a little more swollen then me. My mom didn't say anything to me but immediately took concern in my sisters well being. She kept saying that my wasn't as bad and hers was worse. Then she gave us both Benadryl and told my sister that if she wasn't better in a half hour than she was taking her to urgent care. She never offered to take me to get checked out. She won't let my older sister leave her sight because she's so concerned but didn't care where I went. Every time I'm sick or hurt she never believes me. She under estimates my pain. I give her so much love and I'm always nice to her yet my sister lashes out on her and gets all my moms love anyways. Why is she like this? And what can in do?
   
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Re: Sick but all my mom cares about is my sister - July 30th 2017, 01:15 PM

That must be difficult for you to experience. It was unfair of her to compare your sister's illness to yours, because regardless of the severity, you were both ill. How are you feeling today, with your eyes and the bumps you had?

You said you're nice to your mom and you give her a lot of love, yet your sister lashes out and your mom appears to favor her. This may or may not be true, but from an outsiders' perspective, your sister's behavior could possibly indicate that she is going through something and your mom may be favoring her because of that, though it doesn't make it okay. If this is untrue, however, there still could be different reasons.

Is your mom approachable to have a conversation with? If so, maybe you could talk to her about how you're feeling and see if she is receptive to that. You could use "I" statements to explain how you're feeling in a non-blaming way. For example, you could say,"I felt upset when you compared my sister's illness to mine and didn't offer to get me checked out at urgent care." You could also say something like, "I feel hurt when you favor my sister over me." If she is receptive to what you have said, perhaps she'll work on treating you equally.

If things get heated, remember that you can take a step back if you need to; you can return to the conversation when things cool back down.


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Re: Sick but all my mom cares about is my sister - August 6th 2017, 04:00 AM

1. I can see why your mom did that. Your sister was more sick than you.
2. I hope you both feel better!
   
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