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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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My mum just offended me big and proper - September 17th 2017, 10:19 AM

Hi loves

I was sitting in the living room and almost in tears and my mum looked at me she said.

Whats wrong with you then?

I responded with I just have a lot on my mind right now.

She then said well I doubt it's anything serious you have no problems because if you did you would of told me by now.

I am the sort of person who keeps himself to himself I don't like interacting with people about my problems it's all personal you know? I just feel so attacked and what makes this even worse is my friends don't understand either! They know I have eating disorders and they just brush it off like it's nothing "oh justin has an eating disorder nothing to worry about eating disorders don't do anything"


I am beyond fed up with my friends and family.
   
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Re: My mum just offended me big and proper - September 17th 2017, 12:39 PM

Hi Justin,

I am sorry to hear that your mom said those things. Perhaps you could take a little time to allow your feelings to settle and then approach her and talk to her about how you're feeling? You said you like to keep to yourself and that is okay, but maybe you could let her know how you felt when she said the things that she did. It could be good for her to know about that.

It must be frustrating when your friends brush off your eating disorder like that. Perhaps they do so because they do not know much about it, or don't know what to say in regards to it. Do you think you could let them know things that they could say or do that would make you feel supported instead of frustrated? You might be able to sit down with them and say something like "I feel --- when you say ---. It would help if you didn't say that. Instead, you could say ---."

Hope you are hanging in there.


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Re: My mum just offended me big and proper - September 24th 2017, 11:43 AM

I understand how you feel- pretty much- as I get hurt by things my mum says too. She tells me that I have no friends because I always look angry (I do have friends and its problems with my eyes that makes me frown, which I am self conscious of, so it hurts to hear that), and she tells me that I will have a rubbish future and that I'll ruin my life. I find it easier to not say anything in person, buy to write it down and leave a note/text. Maybe you could try that? If you let her know that she I actually hurting you then she might react differently in future. When you write things down, it feels better to go into a lot of detail of your honest emotions because she will be able to see that its not something small, and that you feel deeply about it. If it still persists, then i suggest let someone else close to you help get through to your mum- maybe a family friend/grandparent or someone that both you and your mum are fairly close to, and again it may feel easier to text/write instead of talking.
Let me know how you get on x
You are not alone x
   
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Re: My mum just offended me big and proper - September 24th 2017, 06:53 PM

I can relate to that because it also was the same for me - telling nobody (or when i did, sharing my thoughts with other people with my parents or parent as it is now) but there was always an issue with them being judgemental or jumping to conclusions at the least when they found out about my goings ons, when i was younger (the kind of age when its hard to keep stuff from your parents, but when i was older there was more choice and my parents didnt find out unless i wanted them to.
i dont know if you take anything from this, but its my own sharing from experience anyways
   
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